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October 22, 2004

Sing, sing a song

Though it has taken too long to highlight this great post, here from Milbarge at Begging the Question, I am so very glad I finally have a chance to spotlight the wonderful Blakely song parody (which riffs on my riff here). Though Jeremy Blachman may still reign as the blogging king of song parodies, Milbarge definitely gets extra points for both the subject matter and especially the lines:
Breyer cries over all the work he did.
O'Connor says, "Pandora, close the lid!"

Of course, doing song parodies about sentencing puts one in very fine company. A quick jaunt on-line to 9 Federal Sentencing Reporter 338 (1997), will lead one to "Ode to the Guidelines," this wonderful ditty created by my former boss, Second Circuit Judge Jon O. Newman, to be sung to the tune of "School Days:"

Guidelines, guidelines not so very wide lines.
Enter a plea to a minor crime; you'll be amazed at the extra time.
And if a departure is what you seek, your 30-year sentence will drop by a week.

Guidelines, guidelines, narrow side-by-side lines.
Relevant conduct is all that counts; DEA agents will set the amounts.
And if any jury should set you free, the guidelines will treat you as if you're guil-tee!

Guidelines, guidelines, those take-you-for-a-ride lines.
Sentences used to require minds and hearts; now all that you need are those guideline charts.

Amazingly, in the wake of Blakely, this tune is looking a bit dated.

October 22, 2004 at 11:18 PM | Permalink


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