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December 8, 2004

'twas the morning before Booker?

Well, here we go again, again.  The Supreme Court has said it will be issuing an opinion today, and so (now for the fourth time) I am getting prepared for a decision in Booker and Fanfan. (Prior posts in preparation include Booker and Fanfan pre-reading guide and Gearing up for Booker and Fanfan.)

Credit for this post's title goes to the mysterious Milbarge of the blog Begging the Question.  Seizing upon my comment here that I would award a complete set of FSR Blakely issues (Issues 16.5, 17.1 and 17.2) for appropriate sentencing jocularity, Milbarge has penned 'Twas the Night Before Booker.  Here is the opening refrain from Milbarge's brilliant sentencing lyrics to put everyone in the mood for what could be a very big day:

'Twas the night before Booker, and all through the prison,
Inmates packed up the cells that they wouldn't be missing.
The lawbooks and transcripts were bound up with care,
In hopes that the verdict soon would be there.

December 8, 2004 at 08:07 AM | Permalink

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» Will Booker-FanFan Come Down Today? from TalkLeft: The Politics of Crime
Law Prof Doug Berman at Sentencing Law and Policy reports today may be the day the Supreme Court issues its long-awaited post-Blakely decision on the Federal Sentencing Guidelines in the Booker and Fan Fan Cases. TChris, who argued the Booker... [Read More]

Tracked on Dec 8, 2004 9:35:18 AM

» Will Booker-FanFan Come Down Today? from TalkLeft: The Politics of Crime
Law Prof Doug Berman at Sentencing Law and Policy reports today may be the day the Supreme Court issues its long-awaited post-Blakely decision on the Federal Sentencing Guidelines in the Booker and Fan Fan Cases. TChris, who argued the Booker... [Read More]

Tracked on Dec 8, 2004 9:38:29 AM

» Will Booker-FanFan Come Down Today? from TalkLeft: The Politics of Crime
Law Prof Doug Berman at Sentencing Law and Policy reports today may be the day the Supreme Court issues its long-awaited post-Blakely decision on the Federal Sentencing Guidelines in the Booker and Fan Fan Cases. TChris, who argued the Booker... [Read More]

Tracked on Dec 8, 2004 12:58:35 PM

Comments

If I might quote Sportscenter-era Keith Olberman, perhaps this might be "premature jocularity." Then again, the predictions have to be right at some point, right? Even a broken watch is right twice a day! Back to enjoying my "unfair advantage." Some good stuff here! Your students must really appreciate all your hard work... :-)

Posted by: Allen | Dec 8, 2004 9:38:04 AM

How many times can one refresh the page for updates on the maybe-today-maybe-not Booker decision? I almost feel like I did when I was waiting for my bar results via the website!

Posted by: Kris | Dec 8, 2004 10:21:37 AM

The Beatles have something to say about Blakely. How about Paul McCartney's song:

FIXING A HOLE
"I'm fixing a hole where the feds came in/
And stops my enhancements from wandering/
Where it will go...

Filling the cracks that ran through the courts/
And kept my enhancements from wandering/
Where it will go...

And it really DOES matter if the guidelines are wrong/ I'm right where I belong."

Another Paul McCartney song written when he was fifteen years old. I think he wrote this with California drug laws in mind! Remember, he got busted in Japan and spent a day or two in the slammer!

WHEN I'M SIXTY FOUR
"When I get older losing my hair, many years from now/
Will you still appeal my case, upward departures still have me in jail/

If I've been in for twenty or more, for selling crack cocaine/
I was eighteen, when they got me/
Now I'm in till I'm Sixty Four!"

But the Beatle, John Lennon, won't be outdone by Paul, so he wrote this stoney little ditty called:

LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS
"Picture yourself in a cell in a prison/
with visiting days and snoring all night.

Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly/
A guard says, 'You've been Blakely-ized!'

Feeling betrayed, upward departures it seems/
Towering over your head.

Look for the girl with the justice scales in her hands and she's gone!

BLAKELY PUTS ENHANCEMENTS BEHIND US...
BLAKELY PUTS ENHANCEMENTS BEHIND US...
BLAKELY PUTS ENHANCEMENTS BEHIND US...Ahhh, ahhh

But my all time favorite and the most sung song ever...Frank Sinatra said that this Paul McCarney tune was the best song ever written, called:

YESTERDAY
"Since Blak-ely, all my troubles seem so far away/
Federal government said I have to pay/
Oh, I believe in Blak-ely.

Suddenly, four enhancements are as none/
Rather than six, I get one/
Oh, I believe in Blak-ely.

Why the AUSA is so upset, I don't know, he didn't say/
I said, "You are wrong," and I long for Blak-ely.

Before Blak-ely, unfair departures was such an easy game to play/
Now the AUSA needs a place to hide away/
Oh, I believe in Blak-ely! Mmmm...mmmm...mmmm

Posted by: Fred | Dec 8, 2004 11:29:21 AM

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