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April 27, 2006

The Booker horror picture show

Rocky_horror The First Circuit rendered two interesting little Booker opinions on Wednesday in US v. Jones, No. 05-1541 (1st Cir. Apr. 26, 2006) (available here) and US v. Lizardo, No. 04-1714 (1st Cir. Apr. 26, 2006) (available here).  Because they do not break significant new ground, I was not planning on covering these rulings until this summary of Jones at Appellate Law & Practice got my Booker song parody juices flowing again by highlighting that the Jones opinion describes a Booker pipeline case as falling "into a peculiar time warp."

So, with this inspiration, feel free to sing along: 

It's astounding, appeals are fleeting
Booker takes its toll
But follow closely, for whole a lot longer
Circuits will keep control
______
I remember, doing calculations
Drinking those moments when
Offense levels would hit me, and the grid would be calling
Let's do the guidelines again...
Let's do the guidelines again!
______
It's just a fake to the left
And then a move to the right
With some help from Breyer
they reign discretion in tight
But it's acquitted conduct, that really drives me insane
Let's do the guidelines again!

April 27, 2006 at 04:41 AM | Permalink

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» Odds and ends from Appellate Law
I don’t know where to put these, but they are worth noting. The First Circuit Public Defender blog catalogues first circuit cases for April here. Massachusetts DUI Podcasts is an addictive series of short lectures on defending DUIs.This one explains [Read More]

Tracked on May 2, 2006 4:28:04 PM

» Odds and ends from Appellate Law
I don’t know where to put these, but they are worth noting. The First Circuit Public Defender blog catalogues first circuit cases for April here. Massachusetts DUI Podcasts is an addictive series of short lectures on defending DUIs.This one explains [Read More]

Tracked on May 2, 2006 4:31:07 PM

Comments

Oy!

Posted by: ohwilleke | Apr 27, 2006 4:39:14 PM

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