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May 22, 2005
DOJ planning national sex offender registry
As detailed in this Washington Post article, AG Alberto Gonzales has announced that the Justice Department is planning "a national registry of sex offenders that would allow Internet users to check all the state databases in a single search."
Officials said the Web site is being created in response to complaints from victims' rights groups and some lawmakers that dangerous sex predators were often evading detection by moving across state lines.
Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales, in a speech at the National Press Club announcing the initiative, said Justice would aim to have a working Web site linked to 20 states within 60 days. The remaining states would be added by fall, he said.
Responding to this news, TalkLeft in this post discusses and links to a lot of its concerns about sex offender registries.
May 22, 2005 at 09:33 AM | Permalink
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Comments
I am commenting from the standpoint of a registered sex offender (RSO). I admittedly exposed myself to a 16 year old female in 1997, for which I was sentenced to 8 years deferred adjudication. There is not one day that passes by without me regretting my actions. I have battled shame and feelings of low esteem, and I pray to God that I should never victimize another person.
That said, I have paid for my crime/sin dearly. I have been subject to ridiculously draconian measures over the past 7 years. While I can certainly understand the public's desire to be protected and informed, at what point does the pendulum swing too far?
What concerns me is the fact that I must register for another 10 years after I have completed my sentence. This is clearly a violation of civil rights. The sentence will be paid, yet the penalty continues? I guarantee that very soon, legislation will come to pass that negates some of what has already passed. It only makes sense to me.
And believe it or not, that bothers me. There certainly needs to be laws in place that inform the public. As a father, I want to know. But I think that categorizing all offenders under the same wide definition is a mistake. There are levels of likelihood to reoffend, and in my heart I know that I am among the least likely to do so. I am no danger to society. At best, whwt I did was shocking, and certainly a nuisance, but I had no intention or desire to abduct, molest, or commit worse towards my victim. That of course does not excuse my act. I merely state that this issue is not black and white. There is a grey area too.
Thank you
Posted by: john doe | May 29, 2005 7:24:28 PM
I am a sex offender who plead guilty to my crime back in 1981, nearly 25 years ago. I was guilty and paid for my crime. My crime had nothing to do with children and it is 25 years old. I have been free nearly 10 years and I have to be on the registry. I agree with you that I don't think that my name should be on the same sight as child molestation. Not that their crime is worse, it should be broke down person by person and not on the web sight. It is fine at the police department where people can check. Many have already been hurt because of the web sight registration and their families. I paid my debt to society and I do want our children protected but as you say, " How far do we go? " It has to stop sooner or later, or we have gone back to the days when African Americans were being killed because of their neglect of civil rights. It is becoming another witch hunt. Hopefully someone will fight this leagally and soon. I spent 10 years in serious treatment to change my behaviors and I have proven that I did. My self esteem is being hurt every time I hear of the changes to our civil rights. I'm greatful that I have skills to help myself during this struggle of freedom. I know many who want survive because they don't have the skills to help themselves. I just hope they don't give up and hurt some innocent victim in the end. This is never the way to go.
Posted by: gene | Jun 13, 2005 9:51:57 AM
As I said in an earlier comment, " We are going too far with the sex offender registration. If we are going to register felons then let's register all felons, not just sex offenders. We will protect our children from many crimes that effect them. In my opionion the registration is a false security to the public. The recent crimes in Florida prove this. It is a very sad day in our country when prisoners are released without any kind of treatment whatsoever. Without treatment all offenders will reoffend. If our penal system is going to work, we must make it manditory that all convicted offenders be involved in some kind of behavior change. This should be set at the sentencing by the judge. This can be done without violating civil rights. The judge could give a split sentence, one for the purpose of treatment, and one for not wanting to do treatment. Then it would be up to the convicted to make their choice. The top sentence could be life and the other one lessor.
Lets focus on the real issue instead of wasting tax payers dollars on the sex offender registration. This is the only way to protect our children and wouldn't be a false security as the sex offender registration is.
Thank You
Gene
Posted by: gene | Jun 17, 2005 10:00:29 AM
I have recently found some stitistics from the National Center For Vivtims of Crime. It amazes me that when Megans law was put into effect it siad that 80 to 90% of sex offenders reoffend after released from prison.In reality it is not true at all. The child protective services across the country found an estimated 896,000 children to be victims maltreatment, neglect or abuse.
61% for neglect
19% physical abuse
10% sexual abuse
7% emotional abuse
19.9% abandonment, threats and congenital drug addiction
40% children maltreated solely by their mothers
19% by their fathers
18% by both parents
13% non parental
In 2002 an estimated 1,400 children died due to child abuse or neglect. It is even higher today.
It also says that 5% of child molesters released from prison commit a new sex offense within three years of release, not 80 or 90%.
If we are going to have a registry in our country than why aren't all these others on the same registry? In my opinon it is only a false security and doesn't protect our children at all. Take the wasted money and use it for the treatment of sex offenders so they don't reoffend. You would be shocked to know that probably 99% of sex offenders were victims themself of sexual abuse and never treated for it as children are today. Being victimized as a child is no excuse whatsoever to hurt anyone when you grow up. But it does play a role in the way way you do grow up. This is why we treat these children now. This is why we see so many young children doing horrible crimes in our society today. They weren't born this way but rather overlooked. Let's put the horse back in front of the cart and really protect our children.
Thank You
Gene
Posted by: gene | Jun 19, 2005 10:31:45 AM
It is my opinion that if there are any violations of the law here it is: the denial of pardons.
Having been a victim and been an offender, and having served over seven years in prison, I was released. Having to register was not a factor of law at that time. Much less being charged a heafty $100.00 "filling fee". There is certaintly not a $100.00 filing fee to pay your taxes, nor registering your vehicle.
I was afforded the demeaning moment of standing face to face with my victim and being asked "Why me?" After having no excuse for my behavior I was a bit humbled and could only say I had no excuse I'm so sorry. I don't deserve life much less your forgiveness.
And, as God himself would have it, my victim at that moment forgave me and even hugged me. I was overwhelmed with I don't know what. but I know, she nor I stopped crying for a long while, still embraced!
I said all this to say: this woman forgave someone like me and to this day has no problem with it now. Why should others?
She even came to visit me at my shop about three weeks ago. I would venture off to say that this woman is the most beautiful woman in the world, and, I still have not the first desire to offend her or another.
Being a man of equity and having people work for me is an honor I don't wish to loose. I provide the income of a woman with triplets, (not mine you perv.) helping another go through college, she is staying in my home and I sleep at my shop. Which by the way she is getting her assosiates degree in Physical Therepy.
However, with the seemingly never ending "Which Hunt" there may come a time where there will be a lay-off and people could loose their homes as a result. Is this good for the employees and their families? How about their children?
WOW we sure are smart.
Why can't there be a pardon for someone who was pardoned by the one who was offended?
Thanks for taking your time to read my thoughts.
By the way who thought of the pink tags? In my opinion it seems that they have some issues of their own. (Hello Psy 101.)
Mike
Posted by: Mike | Jun 24, 2005 1:23:50 AM
By the way, for the record. I am a registered sex offender.
Posted by: Mike | Jun 24, 2005 2:29:33 AM
Hello,
I Have been dating a sex offender for the past seven years and I have children and not once has he ever threathned to hurt them, abuse them,or molest them in any way; he is their father figure. We plan on getting married and He also has a daughter that he sees regularly and has never attempted to do anything to her either. After seven years or more of not reoffending there should be a way that the law gives rights to registered sex offenders such as being pardonned, not having to register, or taking their name and picture off websites that announce who they are, they have a right to privacy too!!!! whoever thought of the pink liscense plates are violating privacy and something needs to be done. If a sex offender reoffends I agree that they should be punished, but if a person has not reoffened like after 25 years!!! they should have certain rights and be left alone!!!!!
Posted by: anonymous | Jun 24, 2005 8:45:21 AM
Hey Anonomous.
I hope you read this as I was the one who posted the message on that web site you posted to last night. About sex offender registry.
I was amayzed at how truely our lives are parralel to one another. I am the "ex-offender".
I say "ex" because it means in effect to "devorce" I mean I devorced the offence. And have become a man who I am proud of. I didn't even know what it ment to be a "man" back then.
My fiancee' and I are going to hellen, Ga. to get married on July 4 which will be seven years to the day when we started dateing (sort of).
As strange as that may sound we are actually re-uninting our child-hood sweetheart love. Wendy, (my fiancee') was my very first girl-friend. She dumped me, being the retrovert I was as a child, and she went out with my friend.
No matter now, because we lost touch, lived our seperate lives got married had kids. divorced. And after a 7 1/2 year bid in SC, as a result of my offence with my step daughter, I was released with no where to go. Called my Mom and the faithful woman called me home.
About a year later still selabit and living with my sister. She had a son who needed a loving father in his life. I helped raise him to be the great young man he is today. No harm came to him at all, except a spanking when he needed it. And, even then, still to this day less than I can count on my two hands. He listens to christian music. And he is now a loving brother of triplets. Jacob, Danial and Justin. The father again left the scene and pays no child support. And, of course the burdon is now on my shoulders.
The same people who say "shame on (us) the sexual preditors" need to get off their ass and help the people who have real needs. I don't see any of them out here paying for the lights, buying diapers, installing central heat and air in her trailer, or even prepairing to build a room addition for these children.
Despite the heavy weight I carry I still get the biggest thrill when I walk into her trailer and see my nephews gleam like a lightbulb when I come through the door!
My good ol sister, I pay for all the bills to include the bills that wendy incures, while sending her to college. I am not rich by any means. I do well for myself building fine custom cabinets and, I just use the available resorces at hand.
I own a cabinet shop and have employees who jump when I say jump. You know, it is a shame to concider the past of a man or woman if they themself has over-come it. I don't believe in the "recovery" state of mind. That means that you are unsure of yourself. I am sure of my self, That's why I am an ex-offender.
I hope you got to read this as it took me a great while to produce because I'm not a typest I am a cabinet builder.
Mike
Ps I sent this as an email to you but...
Posted by: Mike | Jun 26, 2005 10:55:14 AM
Hi everyone
This is Gene who wrote the articles before yours. I am glad to see that there are people out there who support this issue. This will be the only way the laws will change and we will have back our civil rights again. The more support we have the better. We all have empathy for our victims and this is where the true change occurs. We can never change what we did but we can give back by never doing it again. I am a registered sex offender as I said in my article. It may not have been with children but just as bad. All crime hurts and I'm sure you all agree.
I'm greatful for this web sight and hope to someday publish a book of my life which is already written. It is sort of a treatment book for sex offenders. However all people who break the law could use it. I spent nearly 30 years in prison for my crimes and deserved it. I have been out nearly ten years now and living healthy. We are all prove that sex offenders can change. I know many offenders who have changed their behaviors and from all walks of life.
You all take care and hold your heads high
Gene
Posted by: gene | Jun 26, 2005 12:09:41 PM
Thanks to all of you on this website for your posts and testimony. I have constantly felt the increasing preasure from these useless laws that have been passed regarding EX sex offenders. Thats right!!! EX!!! It has been very difficult to get on with life, even though I have an amazing support system and very successful business that provides jobs in the local community. The latest attempt in Michigan is to pass the 1,000 feet rule for school property. Although this may be intended as good legislation, it may effect my Church attendance where I have attended for 17 years that happens to be across the street from two schools. Further, I have been blessed so well in my business that I finance and promote Gospel concerts with the Church and rent the high school auditorium for the capacity. This is not during school hours but it will likely end now because of this new law and it will effect up to hundreds of people who have encouraged me to bring these groups in and promote them. When will it end!!! Some days I feel like I can't get on with life. My past is not a secret to anyone around me and I am trusted by them all... I would never violate that trust! But I am tired of being targeted by politicians for their own personal gain. When will a strong group arrise to fight for our rights? I went through the prison system and will tell you that the guys who are a threat are still in prison. Thats the way it works. Give the parole board some credit. My parole was signed by two former State Police Troopers on the board. These guys must have some good judgement given their experienced background. Thanks again guys for this chance to voice my feelings. I appreciate it very much.
Posted by: Jacob | Jun 27, 2005 12:34:31 AM
Hi Jacob
Your article touched me very much. As you said, When is someone going to come forth and defend us. Are there any legal attorneys that would defend our civil rights out there? It would be a good case for an up coming law student who believes in civil rights for all who live in this country not just some of them. Its time to change our supreme court or educatate them. Come on young law student and fight for civil rights. You would bless thousands of people who are being hurt by these laws, including their families.
Hang in their everyone!!!!!!!!!!
Gene
Posted by: gene | Jun 27, 2005 10:18:57 AM
I was kind of shocked to see a sight with other offenders on it. SO, I took the time to read your posts, and Id like to share my story with you all about the sex offender registry in the state of nebraska. In 1995, I was 23 years old, I engaged in an inappropriate sexual relationship with a 15 year old girl. Despite being young, stupid, and blind to the law... I was totally wrong. No excuses here. I did 40-60 months in prison, for what Nebraska called "first degree sexual assault". Even though the circumstances of my crime in most states would be deamed a statuatory offense. (statuatory rape). The fact that my victim was a willing participant was and is irrelavant to me. The fact that I was wrong, did my time, and moved on with life is what mattered most. Since my release from prison in 1997, I had some minor trouble with stealing things to feed myself at first. However, I met a great woman who turned my life around. I have stayed out of trouble for over 5 years now. She has obtained a bachelors degree in civil engineering. And I got a Class A CDL and started driving for a local food delivery company making OK money. I have two sons from a previous relationship who live with us and are honor roll students. And I have tried my best to put the past behind me.
As for the State of Nebraska... thats a different story. I had to take them to an admistrative hearing, and hire an attorney, to get them to remove my name off the LEVEL 3 registry.(you know, the one meant for the most dangerous offenders?) I was successful in doing so, and am now a level 2 offender officially. I recently wanted to move into a nice apartment complex in omaha, nebraska and had put my deposit down for the place and was approved. I filed my change of address form as required by law with the local sherriffs dept. Level two offenders are supposed to be kept confidential to all but those entities who have court orders to recieve such info on you. And EVEN THEY are supposed to keep that information private by law. HOWEVER, some assclown called the apt. complex I was going to move into.. and gave them an "annonymous" tip about me moving in.
Two days later, I was called by the landlord, and turned down because... as they said, I pose a "community hazard".
This is clearly a case of abuse of power by the state by beating this dead horse. I have acheived a point in my life where me, and my fiancess' income in closing in on 5,000 a month net. And the State patrol hates the idea of me being successful. They hated the idea that I challenged their authority via my attorney and won. And they will do anything in their power to try to fuck things up for me until I am released off the Sex offender registry requirments in 2008.
This is a prime example of why the witch hunt has gone too far. Is the States number one responsibilty to "rehabilitate"... or to kick you until your dead and they are happy?
This sex offender registry is a failure if you ask me. It fails to protect kids in most states and instances. Its a politicians answer to a much serious issue.
Treatment, rehabilitation, and encouragement to do the right thing is what these people need...AFTER YOU PAY your debt to society.
Ive given all of these to society in return for my crime.
So why is it I continue to be harrassed almost 10 years after it happened?
Would the state notify the apartment complex I was moving into if I were a murderer just released from prison.. as fast as they did in my case?
I doubt it.
Now whats wrong with that picture? I ask you.
Posted by: HMS | Jun 27, 2005 10:53:51 AM
Hello im not one for talking a hell of alot about my life and i guess you all know that there are more reasons to keep my mouth shut then not!..
I am a Registered Sex Offender in New Hampshire , and i am dealing with much more then most can handle i get to the point where i sincerly consider Murder, suicide....The anger is far greater then anything that i can imagine sometimes...i guess i can thank God for the 8 Years in Prison that has given me very good control over my actions.
anyways i am just wondering if there are any people reading this that knows anything about any laws that accually DO protect Registered sex Offenders....?if so please let me know in EMail
[email protected]
Posted by: Reggie | Jun 29, 2005 9:02:21 PM
This is my husband's story. He was molested at the age of 6 by the 20-something year old son of a neigbor who did more than just groping. He was forced to watch porn, touch his abuser and although he won't outright admit it I have a feeling this guy also penetrated him. Fast forward 5 years two of his realtives (both girls, one 6, one 7) are staying with his family for the summmer. He gets caught up in game of show me yours, I'll show you mine. Some 8 years after that, one of those girls already a teenager decides to go into his room and him being the fool that he is ends up having intercourse with her. Couple of months later she thinks she is pregnant from her 20-something year old boyfriend but decides to tell her dad that it's my husband's because she thought her dad would take the news better. She drags the other girl back into the picture and it goes from being somehting that happended one summer to years of supposed abuse. 25 charges were brought up against my husband and by the time he signed his plea agreement more than half had been dropped due to inconsistancies in their stories. Ofcourse her 20-something year old boyfriend was never charged with anything and even moved in with her and her family. I in no way excuse my husbands actions nor do I hold his own abuse as a child as an excuse. I know he did wrong and although I had known him for years before we started dating I still spoke to his therapist, his PO, read the case file and got the story from his family. You have to understand that as a mother I couldn't be with a man that could posibly harm my child and if I had found out he was pedophyle we would have never even began to date. (My daughter's biological father has never been in her life and my husband has being the only father she knows and I have to say that he has been one hell of a dad and loves her unconditionally.) My husband signed a plea and has withold adjudication. He received 15 years of probation, attends mandatory weekly group therapy, and has to register for 20 years after his time is served. He had to go to court for us to date because I have a child from a previous relationship. He had to go to court for us to move in together and get married and he had to go to court to ask permission to live with his own child because we got pregnant. Unfortunately we live in Florida and from what has been going in the news the media has everyone in a state of panic. Our neighbor across the street threatened me (while I was still pregnant). She told me I was sick and twisted and that there most be something wrong me for marrying a man like that, how dare I put my child in danger, and that she would forget she was a good christian and make our lives a living hell. The police got involved and I have 2 harrassment complaints against her so far. She has posted my husband's info that she obtained from the FDLE (Florida Department of Law Enforcement) website that includes his picture on two of her trees on her lawn and unless her posting those flyers causes anyone to harrass us I can't get her to bring them down. She ents as far as to puts words in mouth and make comments about my parenting abilities and the safety of my child living with an offender prompting the local PD to question me. Since they know who she is and they know she is just harrassing us they dropped it. Had they not known what that lady was all about the detective advised me there was a good chance child services would have had to step in might have temporarily removed our children from our home pending an investigation. Our daughter is afraid to go outside because of the neighbor and she can't understand why they would put daddy's picture up on a tree. I had to be rushed to the hospital 3 times during my pregnancy for abdominal pains due to the stress I was under. My husband is no threat to children, his own therapist signed off on that, and so have the courts or else we wouldn't have been able to marry. He is a man who failed to use his common sense and thought with the wrong head. Has he realized that what he did was wrong regardless of wether it was consentual? YES. He takes responsability for his actions and accepts the judgement of the court. But now Miami-Dade County has decided to pass an ordinance that states that any registered sex offender can't live within 2500 feet of a school, daycare or park. This really messed things up for us since we are currently trying to find a place and get away from that crazy neighbor that has my child scared. We have even considered gettin two places so that the children won't be a witness to more harrassment from neighbors. I found out though that the state of Florida has a "Public Safety Act" that states that all felons are to register with FDLE but if you go online the only ones really registering are sex offenders all other lists of felons are barely populated. I lived in a pretty bad neighborhood for years and I know for a fact some of my neighbors went to prison for violent crimes but they are not on the FDLE website, why is that? I found out there was a guy charged with 3 counts of aggrivated assault with a weapon on an officer, 3 counts of attempte murder of an officer, possesion of a conceiled weapon and making a bomb living minutes away from me but ofcourse the local PD didn't call the neighbors about him but they did about the sex offenders. I'm tired, pissed off, scared for my children and frustrated at the morons passing these laws/ordinances. Jimmy Rice's (Jimmy Rice was abducted, sexually assaulted, and murdered) mother has stood up against these 2500 feet ordinances pointing out that predators have cars and that if they want a victim they drive out and get one. Don't these people realize what they are doing to families like ours? My daughter has told me there is no point of having police officers they can't always protect you. She said this because she has seen me have to deal with this neighbor and the police saying there is nothing they can do. This scares me because whe she grows up she might not turn to the police for help if she needs them. I just want to our family to be left alone but that won't happen for as long as we are here. That's why we are waiting until 50% of his probation is done, all his probation payments are made, and therapy is completed for us to ask to terminate his probation early. There is a small glimmer of hope at the end of our tunnel since he has been arrested only once in his life there might be a possiblity of sealing and exspongin his record.
Posted by: MBB | Jun 30, 2005 2:40:43 PM
To MBB and Reggie
Don't give up and keep on going. I know that in the end we will all get back our civil rights. Hopefully with the supreme court changing a bit, the laws will change. What hurts us the most is the last decision of the supreme court upholding the registration. We must keep our chins up and hope for the best. Reggie you get some help with your thoughts. Don't let these people get the best of you. It will work out buddy. I praise you MBB for writing what you did. Your husband is blessed to have you in his life. I have a woman like you in my life also. We will beat this thing if we keep supporting one another. There needs to be better support groups for us. You can all e-mail me anytime at [email protected]
Take care and have a good holiday weekend. For the ones who are getting married July 4th congradualation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gene
Posted by: gene | Jul 2, 2005 10:09:36 AM
I am an Interested Party: Sex Offenders are pall eople who in some intimate way betrayed the trust society places in us all to respect every child's and adult's absolute right to live free of sexual abuse. How vile that sexual predators suggest oh mine was just a tiny crime. Every sex offender is guilty of betraying the most intimate expression of love and trust humans can express to each other.
Sexual criminals force their victims to spend the entire rest of their lives reliving the horror and pain embodied in the sex crime these monsters visit upon their victims. How vile and filthy these whining sexual degenerates are for complaining about the fact they must register and be placed on websites. Sexually abused victims never have a moments rest from the torturous pain visited upon them by depraved sex fiends, why should these criminals get a break from the horrors of their own making.
If I had it in my power all sex offenders would be implanted with locator beacons tied into a GPS system that kept them constantly monitored for the rest of their lives. Attempts to remove said device would carry profound health risks due to the implants location.
Good ladies or men's lives are destoryed by those in society who commit sex crimes. There is no big or little sex crimes. Those who commit sex crimes are monsters I would never release from prison period end of sentence.
If society choses to release sex criminals from prison I do beleive they should get and deserve the best treatment we can afford. I think the world should be told who sex criminals are and exactly where they are located. I wish all sex criminals well. I hope all sex criminals in the community do well. I would never harrass a sex criminal because, I feel if they are released they deserve a fair chance at living a relatively normal life.
Just remember no one asks that you do those things that get you registered on sex crimes websites. Being a pervert willing to hurt and horrify others is a choice that should last a lifetime. Each person on a sex criminals website chose the lifetime of pain using sex as a weapon brings their own free will why should we feel sorry for them after the fact. I say SAVE THE TEARS FOR THE REAL VICTIMS! those truly innocent ladies men and children whose trust and sense of inner peace you sick perverts have betrayed.
Posted by: Wolf | Jul 3, 2005 2:44:16 AM
Wolf
some of your statements are true about how we have hurt our victims. I have no problem with any of it. I do have a problem when I have served my sentence for my crime and my rights are being denied. All crime hurts victims not just sex crimes. Would you like it if some day someone decides to say lets lock up all people who have the name wolf just because they don't like it. Your name may scare them who knows. Our children should always be protected. The people on this web site arent't complaining about their punishment for their crime. They are concerned about survival of their own families and themself. Everyone of the people on this website have accepted responsibility for their crime. I wonder what is in your life that you are hiding. When I was in prison and in therapy I met many non sex offenders trying to build themself up by putting down sex offenders who were in treatment. Some nearly killed their wives, some for murder and you name it. What I learned from this is that many of them were sex offenders themself but hid it by murder and other crimes. What is it in your past that causes you to want to destroy people who are trying to change their lives and accept responsibility for their crimes. As you said yourself. all crimes hurt people. I would like to be a fly on the wall of your mind. Either you are a victime yourself or possibly one who has hurt people and think your crime makes you better than us. I am not a child molester but my rape was just as bad. You may want to check your own motives wolf. If you really read these articles you would understand. I hope your opinion doesn't drive anyone away from this web site. We are not the three little pigs nor little red riding hood. But thanks for your opinion anyways.
Gene
Posted by: gene | Jul 3, 2005 10:13:18 AM
Just a few comments on the "scary" wolfs thoughts. You would have to be a perv yourself; to even think of the harassment you would do to others. "If I had it in my power all sex offenders would be implanted with locator beacons tied into a GPS system that kept them constantly monitored for the rest of their lives. Attempts to remove said device would carry profound health risks due to the implants location."
Ever think that's why you’re not in power" You just told the readers of this forum that you would act out on your feelings. Pretty much what we all did here. At least we have the balls to admit it.
You need to ask yourself a question.
How did you come to the conclusion that you would not "commit a sexual act upon someone?"
No matter how you respond to that answer you are going to be wrong.
I imagine you are the type of person who would send MY victim to prison because she/he offended later in life. You are a pathetic coward who wishes no more but to punish people, regardless of the sociological or psychological problems they had in their life. How dare you punish the person I so selfishly "harmed". It is bad enough that I did what I did.
Instead of trying to find a cure for AIDS you are the one who turns the channel. How about the children in third world countries? And you have the audacity to make the comments you made.
Ask yourself one more question. How much money or even time have I donated to feed the hungry or even help your neighbor? Are you planning on a trip to say Mexico to help build a shed for these children to live in that you so want to protect? If not then maybe we need to start pounding on your doors for looking the other way.
We could dig into your bank accounts to see if you contributed to the relief of the Tsunami victims. And if you haven't lock you up for assisting in the continual genecide of an undeserving people.
No matter how you look at it there is a problem with sexual abuse in this country and like others in this forum I have terrible regret that I contributed to this plague.
For those of you who have gone to college and taken Psy or Soc. courses you know what I'm talking about.
There are basics: first there is a thought, then there is the conscious decision to act upon that thought. Unless you have no brain you had to think about what it is you would not do to someone. That's a perverted thought in itself.
Otherwise, you are a hipocrit. You had to think about it first to make the desission you would not do it.
For the rest of us who aren't scared of the name "wolf" or afraid to admit it, We acted contrary to what should be a no brainier. But...
there are those of us who were molested repeatedly in our childhood. I know the thoughts. It happened to me for over six years. And that's just from my what I remember.
At the time I didn't think I turned out all that bad before I committed my offence. And it wasn't until I found out what LOVE really is that I realized I was a pathetic piece of shit.
It isn't the act of sexual misconduct that is pathetic it is the pure innocent trust that was betrayed by the offender.
To a young man of 11 or even 10 who had sex at that age it was their first piece of ass. But to a young girl it is rape.
For those of you who brag about your son’s first encounter. Would you still say that if they were 8 or 9? Or 6 or 7 Or is it still yet younger?
There are so many variables that the mere thought of punishment for all should be the same is an injustice that this country can't afford. Thank GOD that the people who are in authority are not like you.
I believe, as a country we have no excuse for the outcome of toady’s problems when we as a society worship a "king" who was a drug addict. Or how about showing our children that torture is okay. Better yet call ourselves by names of animals i.e. "Wolf" for intimidation purposes.
My 2 cents
Newlywed Mike
By the way GOD "WOLF" as you call yourself. If something happened to cause my business to go down many people will loose their jobs thus loose their homes. Unless you plan on paying their mortgages the same way you help your neighbors.
Oh yea tell my daughter that her dad has no reason to live for her any more because YOU say so.
Posted by: Mike | Jul 6, 2005 2:22:06 PM
Just a few comments on the "scary" wolfs thoughts. You would have to be a perv yourself; to even think of the harassment you would do to others. "If I had it in my power all sex offenders would be implanted with locator beacons tied into a GPS system that kept them constantly monitored for the rest of their lives. Attempts to remove said device would carry profound health risks due to the implants location."
Ever think that's why you’re not in power" You just told the readers of this forum that you would act out on your feelings. Pretty much what we all did here. At least we have the balls to admit it.
You need to ask yourself a question.
How did you come to the conclusion that you would not "commit a sexual act upon someone?"
No matter how you respond to that answer you are going to be wrong.
I imagine you are the type of person who would send MY victim to prison because she/he offended later in life. You are a pathetic coward who wishes no more but to punish people, regardless of the sociological or psychological problems they had in their life. How dare you punish the person I so selfishly "harmed". It is bad enough that I did what I did.
Instead of trying to find a cure for AIDS you are the one who turns the channel. How about the children in third world countries? And you have the audacity to make the comments you made.
Ask yourself one more question. How much money or even time have I donated to feed the hungry or even help your neighbor? Are you planning on a trip to say Mexico to help build a shed for these children to live in that you so want to protect? If not then maybe we need to start pounding on your doors for looking the other way.
We could dig into your bank accounts to see if you contributed to the relief of the Tsunami victims. And if you haven't lock you up for assisting in the continual genecide of an undeserving people.
No matter how you look at it there is a problem with sexual abuse in this country and like others in this forum I have terrible regret that I contributed to this plague.
For those of you who have gone to college and taken Psy or Soc. courses you know what I'm talking about.
There are basics: first there is a thought, then there is the conscious decision to act upon that thought. Unless you have no brain you had to think about what it is you would not do to someone. That's a perverted thought in itself.
Otherwise, you are a hipocrit. You had to think about it first to make the desission you would not do it.
For the rest of us who aren't scared of the name "wolf" or afraid to admit it, We acted contrary to what should be a no brainier. But...
there are those of us who were molested repeatedly in our childhood. I know the thoughts. It happened to me for over six years. And that's just from my what I remember.
At the time I didn't think I turned out all that bad before I committed my offence. And it wasn't until I found out what LOVE really is that I realized I was a pathetic piece of shit.
It isn't the act of sexual misconduct that is pathetic it is the pure innocent trust that was betrayed by the offender.
To a young man of 11 or even 10 who had sex at that age it was their first piece of ass. But to a young girl it is rape.
For those of you who brag about your son’s first encounter. Would you still say that if they were 8 or 9? Or 6 or 7 Or is it still yet younger?
There are so many variables that the mere thought of punishment for all should be the same is an injustice that this country can't afford. Thank GOD that the people who are in authority are not like you.
I believe, as a country we have no excuse for the outcome of toady’s problems when we as a society worship a "king" who was a drug addict. Or how about showing our children that torture is okay. Better yet call ourselves by names of animals i.e. "Wolf" for intimidation purposes.
My 2 cents
Newlywed Mike
By the way GOD "WOLF" as you call yourself. If something happened to cause my business to go down many people will loose their jobs thus loose their homes. Unless you plan on paying their mortgages the same way you help your neighbors.
Oh yea tell my daughter that her dad has no reason to live for her any more because YOU say so.
Posted by: Mike | Jul 6, 2005 2:23:29 PM
sorry about the double post
Posted by: Mike | Jul 6, 2005 2:55:26 PM
Sorry for the double post.
By the way, Maybe wolf should go to the African country (OPRAH 07/06/2005) and save the women, men and children from the surreal abuse that they endure while he is out savgely displaying his own self worth Or should I say unworth.
After all he is a beat.
Posted by: Mike | Jul 6, 2005 4:59:08 PM
hello,
Im a sex offender posting on this site to share information to all offenders on how to live a hassel free life, and how to circumvent the sex offender laws LEGALLY. Are you tired of being hounded by local and state officials? Tired of being kicked after your time is done? Tired of having that pesky mugshot on the internet? Get fired from a job lately because of it? Turned down for a residence for you or your family?
HERES HOW YOU BEAT IT... take notes now..
FIRST.. you get a job, and work your ass off.
Second.. you find a good woman. Prefferably one with good credit, or, at least a good rental history.
THEN.. you save a few bucks up.. lets say, a thousand to fifteen hundred. You get yourself a DUMP in a fucked up neighborhood. And you register yourself as living there with local law enforcement. You put some of your stuff in the apt. to make it look official, you know, some clothes, some food, a matress.. etc. You get all your mail sent to that address. And you stop in once and a while to be seen.
THEN.. you have your woman apply for a nice place, one suitable for your family.. something luxurious in a yuppy nieghborhood prefferably. IF she works, and you have a good enough relationship with her, then money should not be too much of an issue. Get that place in another town by the way. NOT in the one you register in, but close enough to commute.
And there you have it. Your family, and you, are safe from persecution. You dont have to register where you ACTUALLY live. You maintain a mailing address, and a residence where you SAY you live,(but dont)...
OH.. and by the way.. three more things boys..
1) DONT PISS THE WOMAN OFF!! or you will be fucked.
2) DONT SHIT IN YOUR BACKYARD!! if you feel the need to reoffend.. do so in some high class nieghborhood, and NOT IN THE ONE YOU LIVE IN! another words.. DONT BE STUPID!!
(although, I would hope none of you reoffend)
3) Pay your rent on time in both places, and keep a job in the town of your dumpy residence. That way you can stop in now and then, and show your face to avoid suspicion.
Good luck to all of those reading this message. I am a former sex offender living with my family in the lap of luxury.. and I could give a shit less what laws are passed to try to fuck me over.
Use your head, follow my instructions.. and you and your family will live good if your careful enough.
GOD BLESS ALL MEN WHO HAVE SINNED. REPENT, and GOD will guide you to paradise. IGNORE HIM, and you will burn in hell along with all the judgemental hypocrital sinners out there who are persecuting you for your past!
Posted by: excriminalgenious | Jul 13, 2005 10:02:06 AM
hello,
Im a sex offender posting on this site to share information to all offenders on how to live a hassel free life, and how to circumvent the sex offender laws LEGALLY. Are you tired of being hounded by local and state officials? Tired of being kicked after your time is done? Tired of having that pesky mugshot on the internet? Get fired from a job lately because of it? Turned down for a residence for you or your family?
HERES HOW YOU BEAT IT... take notes now..
FIRST.. you get a job, and work your ass off.
Second.. you find a good woman. Prefferably one with good credit, or, at least a good rental history.
THEN.. you save a few bucks up.. lets say, a thousand to fifteen hundred. You get yourself a DUMP in a fucked up neighborhood. And you register yourself as living there with local law enforcement. You put some of your stuff in the apt. to make it look official, you know, some clothes, some food, a matress.. etc. You get all your mail sent to that address. And you stop in once and a while to be seen.
THEN.. you have your woman apply for a nice place, one suitable for your family.. something luxurious in a yuppy nieghborhood prefferably. IF she works, and you have a good enough relationship with her, then money should not be too much of an issue. Get that place in another town by the way. NOT in the one you register in, but close enough to commute.
And there you have it. Your family, and you, are safe from persecution. You dont have to register where you ACTUALLY live. You maintain a mailing address, and a residence where you SAY you live,(but dont)...
OH.. and by the way.. three more things boys..
1) DONT PISS THE WOMAN OFF!! or you will be fucked.
2) DONT SHIT IN YOUR BACKYARD!! if you feel the need to reoffend.. do so in some high class nieghborhood, and NOT IN THE ONE YOU LIVE IN! another words.. DONT BE STUPID!!
(although, I would hope none of you reoffend)
3) Pay your rent on time in both places, and keep a job in the town of your dumpy residence. That way you can stop in now and then, and show your face to avoid suspicion.
Good luck to all of those reading this message. I am a former sex offender living with my family in the lap of luxury.. and I could give a shit less what laws are passed to try to fuck me over.
Use your head, follow my instructions.. and you and your family will live good if your careful enough.
GOD BLESS ALL MEN WHO HAVE SINNED. REPENT, and GOD will guide you to paradise. IGNORE HIM, and you will burn in hell along with all the judgemental hypocrital sinners out there who are persecuting you for your past!
Posted by: excriminalgenious | Jul 13, 2005 10:03:18 AM
It's fun to look up sex offenders on the internet. Keeps me watching the house down the street where one lives too. I tell my kids to stay away from that house. I have them walk the long way home from school just so they don't have to pass that bad man's house. As far as thoes sex offenders. Well, I think I will just teach my kids to be awear and to respect themselves so that if they ever end up at the park down the road with one they will know to stay the hell away. I will admit I don't understand sex much, muchless sex offenses. It really isn't the bad guy down the street that messes with my mind. It's the freaks that make up the TV shows and have this internet all bogged down with porn that make me so nervouse. I see women getting boob jobs and the presedent giving blow jobs.Shouldn't he be registered for raping my little world. Look I have been in very bad situations in my life. I could hate the guy down the road I guess. But after seeing and feeling the real pain of abnormilties of my own sexuality due to abuse. I have to look at the big picture. Maybe I could get some answers to some questions about the real problem if I one day talked to that registered guy down the road. I see a lot of guys who disrespect women around. And rape is as common as apple pie in this counrty. You know if having that guys picture on the net saves one girls life or stops a rape I guess it would be a right thing to do. But I have been in some bad situations in my life whith guys. I guess being left on the street at 13 didn't help much.I know that sexual abuse is done in so many ways. Having the guys that have been caught registered just creates a game of cat and mouse.I guess your either registered or just a normal guy. You want to know a scary thought. From what I have seen of sex offenders they just don't get caught most of the time. They are everywhere. In some of the situations a girl will even negtioate the abuse and somehow blame herself. Guys in this contry are breed to be good negtioaters. Now that I think about it I don't like the idea or knowing where the old offenders live. I rather be on my toes worring about where the new ones are. This might sound stupid but I wish I knew that guy down the street. Maybe if I let him understand my fear of him he could help me understand what it is I am afraid of. Maybe it would just be better to pay them to go to poor countries to offend like the rich offenders do if they feel a slip coming on. You know I would like to sit down with a person and understand his situation before I ruined his life. If someone had to be registered and they were high risk of offending I would hope they would still be in prison. If we let them out then we have to give them a fair shot at life. I think women like me should be the ones deciding who should get out or not. All this fear and hate BS means nothing to me. I was raped and killed and brought back to be raped again by a guy when I was 16. I was molested by my brother who is 10 years older then me. My step Gradfather was a predator. I could go on. You know if that guy who raped me at 16 thought his picture would be on the net, that might have been the extra drive he needed to win the fight. I would be dead. Don't tell me it can't happen. Not every rape is preplaned and when things get out of control and peole get scared any thing can go through thier head. If we are going to register people on a morle trust law. I want every man who is over the leagle age of concent who visits porn sites that promise girls who look underage more then what is normal to be registered too. I don't trust them and they make me angry.The funny thing is in this country that almost makes me sound like a 33 year old women who is jelouse of her fading youth. What a sick world sex has created.
Posted by: Thereasa | Jul 26, 2005 9:14:34 AM
It's fun to look up sex offenders on the internet. Keeps me watching the house down the street where one lives too. I tell my kids to stay away from that house. I have them walk the long way home from school just so they don't have to pass that bad man's house. As far as thoes sex offenders. Well, I think I will just teach my kids to be awear and to respect themselves so that if they ever end up at the park down the road with one they will know to stay the hell away. I will admit I don't understand sex much, muchless sex offenses. It really isn't the bad guy down the street that messes with my mind. It's the freaks that make up the TV shows and have this internet all bogged down with porn that make me so nervouse. I see women getting boob jobs and the presedent giving blow jobs.Shouldn't he be registered for raping my little world. Look I have been in very bad situations in my life. I could hate the guy down the road I guess. But after seeing and feeling the real pain of abnormilties of my own sexuality due to abuse. I have to look at the big picture. Maybe I could get some answers to some questions about the real problem if I one day talked to that registered guy down the road. I see a lot of guys who disrespect women around. And rape is as common as apple pie in this counrty. You know if having that guys picture on the net saves one girls life or stops a rape I guess it would be a right thing to do. But I have been in some bad situations in my life whith guys. I guess being left on the street at 13 didn't help much.I know that sexual abuse is done in so many ways. Having the guys that have been caught registered just creates a game of cat and mouse.I guess your either registered or just a normal guy. You want to know a scary thought. From what I have seen of sex offenders they just don't get caught most of the time. They are everywhere. In some of the situations a girl will even negtioate the abuse and somehow blame herself. Guys in this contry are breed to be good negtioaters. Now that I think about it I don't like the idea or knowing where the old offenders live. I rather be on my toes worring about where the new ones are. This might sound stupid but I wish I knew that guy down the street. Maybe if I let him understand my fear of him he could help me understand what it is I am afraid of. Maybe it would just be better to pay them to go to poor countries to offend like the rich offenders do if they feel a slip coming on. You know I would like to sit down with a person and understand his situation before I ruined his life. If someone had to be registered and they were high risk of offending I would hope they would still be in prison. If we let them out then we have to give them a fair shot at life. I think women like me should be the ones deciding who should get out or not. All this fear and hate BS means nothing to me. I was raped and killed and brought back to be raped again by a guy when I was 16. I was molested by my brother who is 10 years older then me. My step Gradfather was a predator. I could go on. You know if that guy who raped me at 16 thought his picture would be on the net, that might have been the extra drive he needed to win the fight. I would be dead. Don't tell me it can't happen. Not every rape is preplaned and when things get out of control and peole get scared any thing can go through thier head. If we are going to register people on a morle trust law. I want every man who is over the leagle age of concent who visits porn sites that promise girls who look underage more then what is normal to be registered too. I don't trust them and they make me angry.The funny thing is in this country that almost makes me sound like a 33 year old women who is jelouse of her fading youth. What a sick world sex has created.
Posted by: Thereasa | Jul 26, 2005 9:15:09 AM
Thereasa,
Hello, I am very sorry to hear of the tramma that you endured in your life. And, I hope you return to the site to continue reading and giving your input. Yes, this world does need a real live wake up call. Maybe when God does finally come we all see the result of our actions.
I have made a few post to this forum and I will not abort the thought that there is help for some people. I am an "EX-offender" and as I wrote in one of the previous post "No matter how you look at it there is a problem with sexual abuse in this country and like others in this forum I have terrible regret that I contributed to this plague."
I am one of the ones that destroyed the life of someone I thought I loved. I molested my step daughter when I was in my early twentys and I have no excuse for that unspeakable act I did.
My victim stood up to me face to face after my release and asked me "Why?" I knew it would come the day and for the nearly 10 years I tried to come up with a "reasonable excuse, but found none. There is no excuse for violating anyone with any crime no matter what it is. No excuse at all. A violatiopn against another human being is not acceptable ever.
Everyone on the face of the planet reacts to a feeling. ie. If someone does an evil thing. There is a thought there, and an action is expected. But it takes an informed decission to know what action to take. Acting in another evil manor is no justice. I like to think that if we layed the axe at the root of the problem we can rid the evil. But not if we continue to do evil for evil.
My victim, has a great life now and is doing great. She's never asked me for a dime, in fact she has visited me at my shop to tell me how she's doing. And, yes she has forgiven me. I know I don't deserve it. So, I accept it as real LOVE.
I can't say at all that I had anything to do with the raising of such a wonderful woman. I can say I do wish I had some of her mind transplanted in my mind.:)
I didn't know what love was until It was shown to me by this act of Love that my ex-stepdaughter has shown me. She does not hate me although I deserve it. And, her standing up to me I know had to have done wonders for her self-esteam.
I can't help but to think "why would someone want to push someone in a corner or kick them now that they are down. I just do not think with all honesty that sending sex offenders to another hidden section of the world will help. I also don't think putting my face on the enternet is going to stop Joe Blow in such and such state from engaging in an act of sexual distrust. My ugly mug ain't doing what it did as a kid anymore. And, believe it or not it did only happen once. I don't go around raping people or doing things of a dishonest nature.
It was written by Gene "The people on this web site arent't complaining about their punishment for their crime. They are concerned about survival of their own families and themself. Everyone of the people on this website have accepted responsibility for their crime."
In respect for Gene's comment, yes I am very concerned for my wife who had nothing to do with my actions. I am concerned that some people will think she is a perv for marrying someone like me.
Well If that is true then my ex-wife should be considered a perv also. After I was released we did start to get back together again. We did love each other very much prior to my actions. And despite all that there was still LOVE.
I just could not help but to think how my ex-stepdaughter would feel if I came back into her life. If I had not known love I would not have even considerd her thoughts.
You did say in your post that "You know I would like to sit down with a person and understand his situation before I ruined his life." It just kind of makes me wonder if you mean you would listen,then destroy the life regardless of their situation. Unless I interpreted that wrong. If so I'm sorry.
But if you would sit down to listen to someone I would hope you would listen to the victim also.
Someone with a life such as you had to endure even touched me. I have a sister who like me was molested for many years and like you raped and left for dead. She prostituted for a while and did things that she regrets. And, now she has triplets, boyfriend left... you get the picture. She has asked the state for help and gets the cold shoulder every time. Her lights have been turned off and I haven't met the neighbor that every Christian claims we should do take one moment of their time to help her out. I am a Christian and a supporter of helping our neighbors. I do the things I say we should instead of just saying what should be done. I got her lights turned back on paid her water bill and any bill that comes just because I know it is the right thing to do. Those children don't need to be without lights or water. And the state's remedy for this is fostercare. I will die for my nephews before I let them go to fostercare. I get them diapers, wipes and anything that is needed. She now works for me and is now able to support herself and her children. And, you may like this one she don't need a man to pay her bills.
I must say that you do appear to have stereotyped men in general. But there are a few good men out there. I would love for you to "sit down" with the people I know and judge me now by what others say about me not just listen to me. Anyone can talk a good talk but, it takes a multitude to confirm the talk is the walk.
All this said I hope that we can all talk about these things and come to the realization that it is unfortunate that it happens. And I don't think we can't stop it by putting every man and woman in prison presidents and interns (do you really think she said "No Bill you are a married man?") No, I really think she had premeditated plans with that sperm sample she held on to all that time. After all, What woman would not clean the dress she just had sex in. That's nasty. Unless of course that was rape too. And what married man would commit adultry no mater what office he has.
Yes I agree also That the porn site owners should be arested and placed on the sex offender registry. And that would take many of the high ranking officials out of government. Who is going to admit they are the owners of a porn site?
That's kind of like someone streaking in public. Our children don't need to see that. After all we are a civilized country. What ever that means.
I can't help but to think of the few third world countries who's people don't have shirts. Is that the same thing when they run around nude? Do we need to go and arrest them too?
How would you judge that?
Yes there is a problem. But we are not God There are too many variables involved.
Like I said earlier I am so sorry for your pain, I just wish there was an "Easy Button" for this one.
Mike
Posted by: Mike | Jul 26, 2005 9:37:49 PM
And one more thing,
I think it is a sad thing to think you spend your time tracking down sex offenders on the internet when there is a life out there. I spend my time trying to find the good in life. After all the bad is just too darn bad a thought to be running in my mind.
I have to be the Johnny Appleseed. I don't see any others out there.
Posted by: Mike | Jul 26, 2005 9:45:05 PM
I am the wife of an ex-offender - although, he's now going to be punished for the rest of his life because of the new Tennessee laws. A little background....
My husband a four years ago (before, I knew him), had a VERY unfortunate incident with a 16 year old girl. It was at a party where he was drinking and so was she. And they messed around a little bit, no intercourse and it certainly wasn't violent. In fact, she is the one who kept pushing to keep going. He was convicted in 2001 and given 7 years probation for what happened (which is crazy to me, when there are people in his weekly group therapy who committed rape and multiple sex crimes and have less than that, but I digress).
So, he knew that he had to be on the registry for the full probation and then 10 years after. Although, he felt the 10 years was unfair, he came to peace with it. Now that Tennessee has introduced 'new' SO laws, his offense has been reclassified to a violent offense and he now has to register 4 times a year for the rest of his life. It seems to me that he has essentially been resentenced. I find it ridiculous that someone who has an extremely low risk of reoffense (according to his PO and Counselor) has to be punished for the rest of his life - not only is he punished, but so am I and his son (who lives with us - per court order) along with any future children we may have.
The public is so ill-informed by the media that they instantly believe that every sex offender is going to attack their children. My husband has absolutely no feeling whatsoever told children. He is a great Christian man.
I hate that sex offenders are singled out - I want to know who the drug dealers are, the domestic violent offenders, multiple DUI offenders, attempted murderers, let's brand everyone with a Scarlet letter.
All of our friends know about the offense and they all trust my husband. They know it was a stupid mistake that anyone could have made.
We're just waiting for someone to fight this new law. Once his probation is up and 10 years have passed, if he has not reoffended, it would only be right to take him off the registry - I only pray that we can petition the court and make this happen.
Thanks for having this forum. It's nice to get all of this out.
Steph
Posted by: Stephanie | Jul 30, 2005 4:35:42 PM
Hello Steph,
Glad to see someone else here thinks that way.
I am sorry to here the outlandish liabilities that the state has put on you and your children for your husband's act regardless of the offence.
Just seems to me if it were court saw fit that all was well with him living there then all should be well. That to me is double jepordy.
I am in the process of writting this letter to the ACLU on behalf of the sex offenders here in SC. Read...
I am requesting information on the findings of the sex offender registration.
I was reading in the ACLU's web site that Connecticut’s Sex Offender Website Registry Violates Rights, Court Rules .
I was wondering if the findings there are effectual in the SC state sex offender registry.
I am not a smart man but I was thinking that if a law ie. Megan's Law was formed from misleading facts then that law would crumble.
In the National Center for Victims of Crime web site it is quoted "Five percent of child molesters released from prison commit a new sex offense within three years of their release."
http://www.ncvc.org/ncvc/main.aspx?dbName=DocumentViewer&DocumentID=38709
In another quote from another site I found "It amazes me that when Megans law was put into effect it said that 80 to 90% of sex offenders reoffend after released from prison."
If this is true then Megans law was the work of perjury.
Obviously, I am a registered sex offender with concerns about the safety of my family. I am also a business owner and would like to be relieved of the huniliating registry that this state has placed on me. I do not recall that this law was in effect when I commited my crime and seems to me a retroactive double jepordy act of vengence from the state.
I do believe that my business would be much more successful if I were not faced with the fact that I don't want to be in the spotlight untill I am relieved from this undue burden, so, I must tighten the reigns and at the same time loose the equitable privleges that are supposed to be guarenteed to me by the constitution.
end read
You know Steph, I am with you as well as I'm sure many others. It's just a shame that the nature of this type of offence (SEX) it makes someone very shamefull, so much in fact that they don't want to stand up and fight this thing. Personally I don't give a rats tail about shame because for the record I am a christian now and there are people out there who need to here about this. If nothing else but maybe my words (or your husbands) can deter this from happening with someone who is thinking about doing it. (any sex act)
I would love for you to return to this site, and support the effort of the ACLU in abolising this double jepordy. There are high profiles out there that in my own mind need to be on the registry. But that registry needs to be a need to know only registry ie. schools, daycare etc.
It was quoted in ths forum from a john doe "at what point does the pendulum swing too far?"
I agree
Mike
Posted by: Mike | Jul 31, 2005 8:46:08 AM
Interestingly, we had a couple of reporters from the local paper wanting information from our side (Group therapy). They were curious how the laws are affecting us, etc. I wish I would have found this site earlier than just now but very glad I did.
I'm a registered sex offender. I turned myself in for innappropriately touching my stepdaughter. I was sentenced for ten years suspended three years probation. I consider myself very fortunate for the sentence I received. I think I got such sentence because of how I responded to what I did. What I did was still wrong but I know what I'm doing is right. The prosecutor said in her fifteen years I was only the second to come forward. I've sought help beyond what was required. I've worked hard at finding out why I did such a thing and feel absolute confident in my prevention of reoffending. I'm incredibly sorry for the victim that was involved and pray for her well being through her journey in life.
There are several issues/concerns I have and many questions I have that I want to bring to the table with an open mind and open ears.
For instance:
I've just heard that offenders will soon be having to wear gps/cell tracking devices possibly for the rest of their life (at least in my state--SC). I thought I could handle some tough things in my life, but this is going to be a big knock in the gut. I've always believed that the bigger the adversity the bigger the victory but I don't know if I can handle this one, or if it's worth it.
The thought that my odds of starting a family again, trying to explain to my date that I wear this ankle bracelet because of..., doesn't feel to hopeful. I starve for a family again. I'm the only offender in the town I live in so I expect ridicule. I've had two businesses crash because I can't get it back together. I feel for my son who carries the name of his dad. Man I hear myself crying pity but I feel overwhelmed with the ankle bracelet and side pouch that will be soon be mandatory and the registry controlling my future. The thought that this is for life only sickens me more.
My hope for life has been darkened. I must say that if it weren't for my son, my considerations of my future would be different. I'm hanging on for the sake of my loving son, but it's going to be tough. Why I feel this way all of a sudden, I'm going to find out.
I don't know if I have a chance to plea for removal of the registry down the road.
Someone said it somewhere that I've been wondering myself; how come multiple DUI's don't have a registry? What if someone has multiple dui's and has killed people? He gets out of jail to be unknown of his murder. You wouldn't know it if you saw him having drinks....unplanning to kill again. What about child abusers? The ones that beat their kids with objects, stick their kids hands on stoves and all those other horror stories you hear about. What about neglect? How about the ones that get kids hooked on crack or drugs...where's their registry? They harmed a child physically and emotionally for the rest of their life. Also, don't they know abducters don't have to be sex offenders to abduct?
I'm just having a hard time with the hateful media. My guess is that they were offended as well and nothing was done to help them. If the statistics are 1 in 3 for girls and 1 in 6 for boys, why do they think it's just a few of us? If they want to try to control the problem, provide something. What is being done proactively? It seems very reactive and political. This has been going on for generations not just recently. Protect the community by teaching preventitive measures so there is less offending. A lot less boundaries would be crossed if more were discussed beforehand.
Well, I vented....so far.
Thank you for the site, it is encouraging to hear from others.
Posted by: JP | Aug 2, 2005 2:58:00 AM
I would like to say this, it is crazy how some people whom made one mistake, not violent, been out for 10 or more years, and have to be grouped with these nuts, that rape KIDS, kill them, and then get off. I plead contest 14 years ago. I was 18 years at the time. We were all the same sex, just messing around, and I got burned. I take responsibility. Now, 15 years later, I am depressed, scared to have friends, as your face is plastered on the internet, cannot pass background checks, and yet the real perverts continue to abuse kids and we pay for it. This is not fair. I am now 35 never been in trouble since then, grown up and have DONE NOTHING WRONG! Yet, I still have to keep paying for a mistake, which I did not do what they said I do, all these years later! When is America going to stop wasting money on people like me, and concentrate on the real sickos. I am tired of be labled a child molestor. It's bullshit. I do not like children in that way. I have 3 nephews and 1 niece. And guess what. I love them as a relative, not sex thing! I SWEAR, I would never touch them or want them. In CA, the biggest sex offender of them all, Arnold S. the Big Gov, wants to put ankle bracelets around us now? 15 years later? Where are rights at? We are humans, not shit. Why do people whom straightened their life up have to wear that for? Tell me, am I nuts?
Posted by: Kay J | Aug 18, 2005 3:01:27 PM
I listed the following comment on a site where people were cheering for the high-value of the Sex Offender Registry. As I say in the comment below, I am not totally against a type of public registry. But, I believe that what is in place now, is a true horror, and is ruining lives, and damaging children across the country in it’s own way.
Again and again, I hear that the rights of the Sex Offender should not be deemed more important than the rights of the potential victim’s that will, supposedly, be saved by the registration . And, I actually agree with that to some extent. But, we are not robots, and there is no way to dump us all together, and make a blanket policy that will be fair and effective. Many, many potential “registrees” have never, and will never even affect the lives of children or anybody else. Many of us are innocent of the crimes we are labeled with. And many of us are not innocent of our crimes, but are no threat at all.
And, many of us have children that depend on us, while we exercise sane and healthy relationships in our lives.
As I will say below, my daughter is just as important as the children of the pro-registry parents. She is just as important, and she deserves a chance at a normal life with me. And, I deserve it too.
We deserve to be left alone! That being said, please read ahead. This was my comment:
I’m curious.
Do you people care about my daughter? She is 2 1/2 years old. She will end up needing therapy for years. She is, of course, a child. She isn’t even 3 yet, but I am pretty sure she will need help.
The same goes for members of my family, my wife, and of course, myself.
We have been hurt severely by Sex Offenders. They have ruined our lives. Would you like to hear how?
I will remain anonymous, so nobody can claim I am trying to tweak facts for my own benefit. This is just a work of non-fiction. Enjoy.
There is a lot to my story, but for now, I will stick to the short story.
Please know that everything I am stating here is backed up by documents, emails and letters. But, it never helped.
My first “Good Job”. I live in the United States, and was told to fly up to Ontario for work. I had 2 days notice, and had never been out of the country.
2 hours before my flight, I picked up my work computer from the office, and took off. When I arrived in Canada, I was stopped at Canadian Customs, and asked for Work Papers, whatever that means. Not knowing what they wanted, but thinking that it was probably on the laptop I had, I turned it on, and slid it over to the officer. “Please take a look on here, and see if I have what you need.”
I asked him to look at it.
Seeing that a program called Limewire was on the pc, the officer looked for illegal images, and found none. What he did find was a group of incomplete downloads with illegal names. Limewire creates a folder called “Incomplete”, and places the debris of incomplete downloads in there. So, if you see something coming on your pc, and you stop the download, Limewire puts whatever it downloaded into that folder.
That was the end of my life.
I spent 3 weeks in a foreign jail as a Child Abuser.
During that time, Homeland Security, the Ontario Police, my friends and my own family investigated everything about me. They looked through my pc, my possessions, my bills, my emails, and my instant messages. They spoke with their children. They did it all.
Nothing else ever turned up. Only 5 partial images that were found in this folder on this work pc. Images that had the same Created date, as Modified date. Meaning, after the download was stopped, they were never viewed, moved, or anything. Ever.
I then went through 3 months of having to borrow money, and answer questions from everybody in my life. I lost my first “Good Job”. A disclosure of evidence was performed with a useless attorney that did not understand the case. It was performed while I was here in the states. I have the emails, asking for the information of what they found, but my attorney never gave me an answer. I have these emails. The only facts I ever found out were while I was in court. As I said. 5 incomplete images. Then the money ran out.
After only 3 months, I went through $15000.
I was offered a deal. They wanted me to plead guilty. My attorney told me that the police had an airtight case, I didn’t have the money to pay him anymore, and I should take the deal. I was told that I would have to pay $1000, but would not have to register, or anything else. I would be able to move on.
Another attorney was telling me that the police had next to nothing on me, and that it was clear I was innocent. But, it would cost $20000 for him to defend me. I did not have $20000.
My life was ruined, I had no help, and so I took the deal.
After being completely investigated, the end result was 5 incomplete garbage files that had never been viewed by anybody, but were able to be constructed into partial Child Pornography.
And, I still had to plead guilty. As I said in the beginning, all of this is documented.
2 weeks after, I was contacted by the state police, and informed that I must register. My official designation is Sexual Abuse of a Minor!
Sexual Abuse of a Minor! Can you people see this?
Here is the funny part: I am totally FOR Sex Offender Registration. But, it has to be done under the right conditions.
My face, name and address will be in a list with rapists, killers and child molesters. For 10 years!
You think this is ok? If you do think this is ok, you prove my point. Because, the average person is not calm, cool and rational all the time. This information should be utilized by professionals that can get the facts, know the circumstances, and act accordingly.
When my name shows up on that list, it will say nothing about my case or me. All it will say is that I was convicted of Sexual Abuse of a Minor, and then give you people my picture and address. It doesn’t show the facts and details of my case. Facts and details that were discovered by the police. Not me.
“Well, we can’t put the well-being of the offender above the well-being of the victims.”
I agree. I do. But, I am a victim too! What about my daughter? She is a victim! We are ruined, because of these sick people!! My God, it is insane!
I don’t even feel comfortable changing her diaper. I am scared to death of my own daughter. This is how it will be forever. I will be supervised during visits with her.
What about us?! It is because of these people that we are going through this. But, nobody cares.
My life is over. I will never have that good job. Never have that nice house in a good neighborhood. Everything will be sick, for the next 10 years. That is how my daughter will grow up. Getting teased by kids. Funny looks. Comments. Parents not letting their kids near her.
Now, here is the clincher. Close your eyes, and be me. Just for a minute. You are in Hell. You honestly don’t deserve this. All you hear is that it is just Too Bad. It is all for the children.
Now, wipe the tears out of your eyes, and open them up. Smile, because you are ok. And, it is all for the children.
What about MY CHILD?! I love my little girl. I had plans for her life too. My kid is just as important as yours!! She is.
We are just as important as you are. And we had plans. We do not deserve to be sacrificed. I don’t care if it makes you feel safe. We deserved somebody to care, and make sure this was done correctly. Make sure I had a chance.
I still believe in the Registry. My kid has to be protected too. But, a lot of responsibility will come with it. You CANNOT put innocent people on this thing. It is inhuman. It has to be changed, and done right.
One more thing for the whacko, wannabe avengers out there. Some of us who have been wrongly convicted are still men. We have honor and pride. Some of us aren’t these disgusting, squishy child molesters. We are still men that will protect our families and what is ours.
God help anybody that ever comes to my door with a torch, or threatens what we have.
A Dad.
Posted by: Ruined | Sep 23, 2005 7:28:18 PM
I had 4 children ranging in age from 4-9 when i met my second husband. after dating him for about 2 months he admitted to me that he was a registered sex offender. I was shocked and angry to say the least. I was scared for the safety of my children. I really liked this man. I had a friend of mine from the police department run a check on the man i was dating. Nothing on his record except the Aggravated sexual assault. I did my research. I wanted to know exactly what happened. i traveled to the city in which this happened. Well after viewing the case file and reading the original police report, i found out that this man did touch this young girl age 8 when he was only 17 yrs old. There was no penetration. Just touching. but because of the age difference, it was filed as an aggravated charge. He got 7 yrs adjudication, a fine, and MANDATORY counseling. After speaking to his counselors, 2 of them, they stated that they strongly believed that it was an isolated incident. They did not believe that he would ever reoffend. I ended up marrying this man. I had 2 children with him. He's since that time in 1992, almost 14 yrs ago, ever been any trouble. But he was required to register for life. I am a teacher in a small town where we live. For the past 10 yrs we didnt have a problem with any of this, until a month ago. My husband signed up to be the coach of our sons soccer team, and me as co-coach. Somehow, one of the parents found my husband on the website. Well wouldnt you know, he brought it to the attention to the ohter team parents. I was horrified. My husband was upset because he knew we would now have to tell our oldest son who is 7. It was the hardest thing we ever had to do.
As a parent, i want to know who the threats are. But the website thing, well the offenders are not categorized as little or large threat. they are all thrown in together. I think it is unfair for those ex offenders who have paid their debt to society, who have stayed out of trouble and tried to make the best life for themselves by being law abiding citizens, to have to continue to be penalized. There are those who have a sickness who reoffend. But i also believe that those who have been rehabilitated deserve the same liberties of freedom as the rest of us.
Posted by: Ambienne | Oct 11, 2005 9:38:31 PM
Well everyone I just wanted to let you all know that I got a hold of the Govener of Ky. His basic re[ply to me was I will look into it. Knowing that no matter what you say or try to do once you are a sex offender you might as well kill yourself because it doesnt matter you are a nobody and nobody cares. Iam trying to over come this fact. Iam willing to put cameras in my house so that my husband can live with me and two children. But Iam sure that the Govener Fletcher could care less about me or my situation. How ever I did remind him that I can vote..haha well all for now. iam having a heck of a time reading new postings can some one help. My computer is smarter than me I guess.. thanks
Posted by: stephmount | Nov 7, 2005 4:58:53 PM
I am currently a part time student,and full time mother. I found this blog while doing research on a paper. I just want to say that from where I am standing and from what I have learned, we need to remember that there are two types of crimes. There are sex crimes where a crime was committed and sex was involved, and crimes that are committed where sex is used as a tool. To label a 19 year old, who has sex with his 17 year old girlfriend a sex offender is not truthful or appropriate. The adult who has molests and/or rapes a child is a sick individual, and yes they should lose their rights in order to protect other children. The first time a sex offender commits a crime everyone loses. Society, the child, and even the offender has lost a peice of themselves-in my opinion the piece that makes them human. There are also two types of rights to consider: basic human rights, such as the right to life, to be loved, to not live your life in fear and pain, and the rights we are given as citizens when we are born, which should be at jeporady of being lost if we commit a crime against a child.
I have read the posts on this site, and I feel for those people who have had been labeled and grouped in with these less than humans who have intentionally and repeatedly harmed children. I agree that basically polititians are preying on our fears and inciting our "torch carrying mob" mentality. I have to admit, before doing my research I was under the common misconception of the abductor who snatches some kid off the streets and does awful things to them before killing them. Of course this only accounts for a small percentage of sex offenses against children.
Since doing my reasearch I find that I am really pissed at the people who are supposed to be running our country.Besides giving themselves raises what are they doing with their time? They speak about being tough on crime, but haven't even educated thenselves about the crimes. There is a solution but they don't care to find it.
I guess my point is this: I have realized that having an opinion is worth shit. If I myself and others who are truly concerned with protecting children really want to make this world safe for the children it, then we need to take action-not sit on our asses an complain. When I say take action, I also do not mean ignorantly posting flyers on trees,and such. We need to start becoming involved with running this country again. That also includes those of you who are being persecuted wrongly. Make the distiction between yourselves and those who have commited a real crime against children, and support harsh penalities for real sex offenders. For those of you who have done something wrong, take back your humanity and get help-stop yourself by any means, but if you have truly hurt a child you must consider what you have done. Forget society,you can never repay to your victim what you have taken from them. Accept that, take responsibility for it, then take the steps to make sure you NEVER do it again. But you also have to understand that we as society, as parents,cannot take the chance that you will not reoffend, and will do what we must LEGALLY to control you and stop you from harming another child. You made a choice to do something REALLY WRONG-accept that there are penalties for it.
Thank you for letting me have my say.
P.S. AND yes-I do think that murderers should also have a registry as well. And by that I again mean those who committed murder intentionally, with no other motivation than the fact they they enjoy hurting people.
Life is full of gray area-we need to treat each case as such.
Posted by: nothinginexcess | Nov 26, 2005 4:19:50 PM
i think that it is every citizens right to be aware of criminals present in their neighbourhoods. although sex offenders do not possess a HIGH recidivision rate, they are still connected to statistics that proove they relapse at all. and to "john doe", if you feel your rights are being neglected, perhaps you shouldnt have committed such a hanas crime to begin with. your rights were just as equal as the rest of societies UNTILL you decided to violate our well-known social norms. let me ask you, whos rights should hold more value? those of a criminal who has demonstrated a lack of respect and acknowledgment for societies laws? or those of a citizen innocent of crime and in need of protection?
student.
Posted by: anon | Jan 4, 2006 1:58:57 PM
I am a mother of a "offender" he was 18 and the girl was 15, she testified for my son that the sex was consensual, made no difference, my son did three years in prison, was recently released, he has been told by his parole officer he cannot join a church,cant go to movies,parks,swimming pools, librarys, parks or a few other places children go.. he is not a child molester, he is a good hard working young man whomade a wrong immoral choice, not a unlawful one, Being told he cant join a church for the two years he is on parole is the worst, he was brought up in the church and wants to attend church, I gues they think that "sex offenders" no longer have souls that need saving.. sex offenders should not all be grouped together in one group circumstances are different and the person is different in each case,,, my son has only been out two weeks and said he would rather go back to prison, he had more rights there... one question, do people who have killed their children have to come out and register as a murderer, i would rather know they live nexxt door than a young man who wouldnt hurt anyone
Posted by: lisa | Jan 24, 2006 11:48:42 AM
Hi everyone. First of all, I am a Criminal Justice Student and this term I will need to write a paper on the fallacies used in arguments and choose a topic that I feel really strongly about and then locate arguments from both sides and analyze how the opponents present their arguments. Long story.
Anyway, before I go any further let me just say that I am very angry at the laws that have allowed sex offenders to go back out on the streets and reoffend, often times taking a life in the process. But I need to clarify. A 23 year old man having consentual sex with a 14 or 15 year old girl is vastly different from a pedophile who rapes and murders a 5 year old. These laws that you are all bemoaning were put into place and are being refined to deal with the epidemic of these child rapists/killers that have been imprisoned (sometimes numerous times) and released prior to abducting, raping, and killing a child. It is a known fact that there is no cure for pedophiles. It is classified as psychological, and I do believe they have tried many methods to prevent the compulsions that cause these offenders to do what they do. Nothing works. It is a useless battle and the only way to prevent them from hurting another child is to keep them away from children all together.
I've read many arguments on this board in the short time I have been reading. And frankly, I am glad I came across it. If any one of you would be kind enough to allow me an email interview that I may reference in my paper I would greatly appreciate it.
Someone said that these laws are violating your civil rights...and many would say "What about the rights of your victim(s)?". Do you feel that you are being punished too long for your crime? Do you feel that different levels of sex offenses deserve more or less attention?
I watched a documentary last month, where a sex offender who was out on the streets again (qafter multiple convictions) murdered a little girl. She was six. He was on video during his interview and he gave explicit details as to how he abducted her, what he said to her, and then what he did. He took her from a park. He put her in his truck and he told her that sometimes people have to do things they dont like, and she would have to do some things that she didn't like. He took her to remote spot and he raped her. He then tried to smother her with his hands. That didn't work and then he said he snapped her neck, and then she let out a sigh and was dead. He then said he "had sex" with her again.
To any one of you who has had "consentual sex with a teenager", committed incest on someone, or forcibly raped a grown woman, do you feel any negative emotions by reading this story? Is the problem here that you feel that you are being compared to and treated the same as these type of people? Because I know that when I hear the word sex offender, MY MIND automatically pulls up a vision of the monsters who do things like this to little innocent children. It is these monsters that we as society are trying to fight, and the laws which were meant to once protect people like you were getting in the way of us controlling these much more dangerous and sick people.
I also read from one of you that "murderers etc" hurt people too but they don't get the same attention as sex offenders. I can only assume that this comes from out overwhelming need and desire to protect innocent and defenseless children. Any crime that involves a child is always going to be looked at more fiercely than any other crime. It is human nature.
Posted by: Cyndi CJ Student | Feb 1, 2006 5:56:30 PM
I'm a sex offender and was convicted of 1st degree child molestation. I've served my time and now have been off of probation since 08-23-2004. I have a situation that I'm not sure how to handle. I'm with a woman who has three kids and had been living with me. Social Services informed us that she and the kids could not live here because I was considered a threat to her children. I've got no restrictions except to register and am being punished once again by not allowing me to have a family. We intend on fighting this because we believe that this is wrong for what they are doing to us. We were given no options or advice about what to do to keep our family together. It seems like there main objective is to keep families with our dynamics apart. Any advice would be much appreciated. We had felt very alone until we saw this site. I wish that there were support groups like this where we live. If you have any advice, information or have a story like ours we would love to hear from you so leave a blog here and we will keep checking in or you could email us at [email protected]. Thank you all and hope to hear from you soon.
Posted by: Kpinformational | Feb 11, 2006 10:06:15 PM
I have been reading all of this crap on this site and it pisses me off, to hear all of you perverts boo-hooing about having to register as a SEX OFFENEDER. What the hell is wrong with you. If you didn't want to be a registered sex offender in the first place then you shouln't have been a pervert, you stupid son of a bitches. If I had it my way I wouldn't let you out of prision with you balls. It would me mandantory to have them cut of as soon as offense had been committed. To hell with putting sattelites in your body parts and keeping them monitored. Except for the exception of child molestors, because the pain they caused will be felt for the rest of the child's life, so in those cases I think the offender should die a very slow death. So to hell to all you cry baby bastards......
Posted by: mississippi | Mar 19, 2006 11:26:31 PM
As long as you let the system get you down you will never move on, People make mistakes this will pass as did the Salam wctch trials ..just don't be an ass and re-offend,by doing so you feed their already tilted statisticks, I'am level 1 I repent I ask for attonement I don't minimize my offense but I go on ..at some point you have to say wtf and move on, stay away from anything that could jepardise your freedom and most of all keep fighting!! You life is god's to judge not some women who have nothing better to do than scan the internet for sex offenders eating bon bons we feed the system by offending its that simple ..go see a specialist and talk it out, frankly I'am done with women thats my choice (not gay just done with women)behind every prosecuter is a handsome female victims advocate depending on the crime most women are willing to forgive, till the victims advocate gets hold of their mind..trust me I have been there as for the mississippi (knucklehead) post who's sick of hearing the boo hooing I say"wait till it happens to someone you know stupid" by the way pal you ever take a pee on the side of the highway? if you do guess what dick head ...you a sex offender..so maby your junk should be snipped..lmfao it really freaks me to figure they let people with NO brains own PC's
Posted by: Confused | Jun 14, 2006 6:05:00 AM
This will probably not be posted on your BLOG, because I am a victim. I was molested when I was only 8 years old and the threats and fear that accompanied that molestation took away a lot of the happiness and freedom I should have had as a child. I agree 100% with kpinformation. You deserve no sympathy and if you cannot control your sexual desires toward children, then have youself castrated. As an adult, I managed to have a happy married life with 2 daughters, whom I was extremely protective. About a month ago a couple apx. late 50's bought the house next door to us. After being the friendly neighbor that I am, I found his registry on the website as sex offender of a 14 yr old girl. Two counts of rape and forcible sodomy. I have had to relive the nightmares of when I was a child, not to mention feeling betrayed since they took advantage of my good nature. I keep my 2 young grandchildren and can no longer enjoy being outdoors with them because I am afraid he is watching with evil thoughts. There is also 13 and 14 year old girls next door on the other side of him. One of them was molested at age 2. They have had to double her medication since this asshole has moved next door. What gives you the right to move into our neighborhood and lives and take away our comfort and happiness once again. We were going to sell our home, which we love, but foreget that. The realtors have told us "IF" we could sell we would have to take a huge loss because of the sex offender. Yes, you deserve to be feared and tortured, just as we (victims) have for the rest of your life. Thank God for the sex offender registry. The laws and penalties could never be harsh enough for you perverts. As far as having to pay to register...what about US (the innocent) having to pay for your meals, TV, computers, etc while you were incarerated. We paid enough when we lost our innonence to you sex maniacs. May you all rot in hell.
Posted by: Dot | Jun 17, 2006 9:05:03 PM
Ok, so now we have another thoughtful comment posted to go along with Mississippi's. The old "rot in hell" aproach. I am sorry that you were molested and that it so distroyed your life. Just imagine had you gone through a war in your home land or had been the victim of another violent act...whoa.. how could you have lived?
And you didn't pay for anything for me Lady. I had very little in prison and went through Hell. So, you get on to church now and listen to another sermon on love and forgiveness. Those of us who are truly sorry for what we did will do our best to live peaceful, benificial lives.
I could go on about alot of things concerning this, but I'll keep it brief. I fully agree that dangerous sexual preditors should be kept behind bars. And a repeat offender should also be locked up. All sex offences are wrong, but not all offenders are monsters. I simply ask that ex offenders who truly want to change be given the chance to do so. That's all. Stop using this sex offender issue to get tv ratings and votes. Stop trashing the Constitution of the United States by changing the laws to punish those who pose no threat to others and have long since paid their dues to society and call these new, unjust laws "administrative". Sex offences do leave scars, but so do drug overdoses and family members being killed by drunk drivers.
Let's try to realistically look at this problem and the proven methods and living situations that are effective in preventing recividism and leave out the emotional out-bursts that solve nothing.
Posted by: GA ex offender | Jun 19, 2006 8:37:08 PM
I am a registered sex offender, I am a female no I did not do the act nor did I set the act up. I was at the wrong place at the wrong time,a very political case high profile etc.... My quest right now is to do something to revise this law and to protect the families. We all have children and they become the vitims now, with our addresses having to be posted how are we protecting our children from being harrassed by others,sex offenders need to stand up and fight,my website will be up and running in the next two weeks,we need chapters in every state county we need to write letters,we need to be heard,most of all we need to,go back to why we created megans law,not to label everyone has a sex offender please help me in my quest.....
Posted by: joann | Jul 14, 2006 10:15:37 PM
The reason/reasons I feel I needed to reply to this post is because:
ONE: I have not read anyone talk about this from the "VICTIM" point of view. Well, I was sexually abused as a child. Not from one or two person.... FIVE! All but one was a family member. I did report it to my parents and others as well... do you know what I was told? I was told it wasnt true and not to say such things because it would cause problems within the family. The first time I remember I think I was around the age of 5 or 6 and the last time I was 16.
Yes, I had a hard time with all this AT FIRST. What did I do about it back then? I avoided these men at all cost. I made sure I was NEVER alone in an area that I could be alone. I also talked.... I talked to EVERYONE. I got my feelings of anger and hurt and anything else OUT. I told everyone the names of these people and I made sure that I always told the truth so that nobody could ever make me feel bad or guilty about what happened.
When I was older and able to do things to help myself, I went to counseling and talked about it but, do you know what was different by this point? Do you know what confused me more then anything? You will never guess.... I was NOT angry at these men anymore. I couldnt understand that because everyone said I should be... they said that I should hate them and wish the most evils upon them... but, I didnt! Can you guess why??? I doubt you can.
I will tell you why; Because I let it go and let MY higher power take over. Yes... that sounds like a 12 step comment. It works!! I feel GREAT about myself. I am proud that I educated MYSELF. I dont need medication and I dont carry around a burdon about an issue that I refuse to allow to ruin the rest of my life. I am a strong women and refuse to allow society tell my how I "should" feel when I know how I "really" feel.
The second reason I felt I needed to post. I am married to someone who is a registered sex offender. This is not my first husband. My first husband was never in any legal trouble. He grew up in a strong Catholic family. Went to college and owened a business that I helped him start. We had everything. We had a beautiful house in the mountains with a lot of land. We built a brand new house that was really too big for our family but, we could afford to do it and thats what we wanted. We had more cars then we needed. We had horses and a pool. You name it, we had it. Well then, what happened??
He started doing drugs. One day our oldest son found his drugs and his father BEAT him. Almost killed him. His father was never like this before. My husband and I got into a fight and he left the house and moved in with his mom. After he promised to get help, he ran off with some girl. Since then, he still does his drugs and has beat our son several more times when he had him for his COURT ORDERED visists. YES.... I did report all the abuse to the police. YES, I did take my son to the ER and have it all documented. MONEY ALWAYS TALKED and my EX was NEVER charged. It would have ruined his reputation. I would like to add that my once very healthy son has been through over 32 operations on his right leg alone and will be in a wheelchair the r est of his life, all thanks to his father... and I couldnt even get a protection from abuse order!
Well, one day I was web surfing and found a prison pen pal site. Looking through the ads I found someone and wrote to him. That was the best thing that's ever happened in my life!! At the time I didnt know his crime. That was the best part... I liked this person as my friend. In our very first letter we made a promise to each other to always tell the truth even it is wasnt pleasent. To this day we still go by that rule.
Yes, I said to this day.... He's been out of prison for some time now and my life with his is better then any I have ever known! The love this man shows me and my children is outstanding! He's the perfect men to me. He does not drink, do drugs INCLUDING smoking, and he's NEVER abused us in any way... NEVER!
The problems we face since he's been home... SOCIETY! That FORSAKEN registery! It serves NO PURPOSE other then to have people running around playing the "good guy" and getting all freaked out about something that with a little more attention to their own children could be avoided.
This site has caused so many problems for us... all of us. MY house that I worked hard to buy and pay for after my divorce has had bricks thrown through the windows, just missing my children. I've had someone spray paint the outside of my house with words of hate. My house was broken into and a knife held to my oldest sons neck because this person thought it was my husband!!! This is what the web site has done!!! I'm so "GLAD" it was designed to "PROTECT" the innocent and the "VICTIMS"...... HA... BULL!
MY husband NEVER harmed a child... NEVER. His crime was rape... of an adult. At the time he was young... not even out of his teens. He was high on drugs and so messed up. Not that I am making an excuse for him... there is no need to make excuses... its the TRUTH! He was also the victim of sexual abuse. Guess who did it to him...... HIS COUNSELOR (female)IN A STATE RUN FACILITY! He was only 12 years old! Other staff memebers knew about it and did NOTHING to stop her! Instead they punished him. Again, Im so "GLAD" society was there to "PROTECT" him.
I am sorry this is such a long post but, I have once again told the truth. I have to hurry and close this post before I am late for work but, I wanted to show you that things arent always as cut and dry as they seem to be. Sometimes its easier to go with the flow of society then it is to think for yourself. Look deep down within yourself, Im sure at some point in time you, yourself have done something that others around you would think negative about. It doesnt have to be a legal crime... just something that others would not approve of... we have all done things like that.
I am NOT a religious person to the extreme but, I do believe in my higher power. I do believe that as a normal human with faults of my own that I have no right to condem another person. I have no right to judge them and ruin or take away their life. If I could do that.... if I had that "right" then I guess judgement day must have come and I am the "higher power"! I dont think thats true.... and I also dont think that ANYONE else has become the almighty! So, until that day comes we are all created EQUAL... even with our faults.
Im sure Im going to get some nasty reply to this... thats ok. If it makes you feel better go for it. Just remember, speak the truth otherwise.... well, you know what I was going to say. :-)
Another thing.... BIG DIFFERENCE between a sex offender, child molester and a SVP.... I would suggest before people speak out on a subject, they educate themselves first.
As people we are all different... diversity. I can understand that some people look down on a sex offender but, that is NOT what you were talking about and that is NOT what happened to you. The person or persons who did that to you was a CHILD MOLESTER.
I am not here to argue with anyone. I have my rights to my feelings and beliefs just as anyone else does. All I ask of EVERYONE is please educate yourself about this and any topic before you talk about it.
Just as some of you feel strongly that ALL SEX OFFENDERS are equal... and should be... oh I dont know.. I guess KILLED.... I feel just as strongly that your wrong and without a doubt in my mind they should NOT be killed. I do not believe in killing ANYONE because I am not "GOD".... and guess what, your not "GOD"... so dont pass that type of a judgement.
I know some of you would not agree with what I said... and I'm fine with it. Its a fact of life. All I am saying is dont bash others for speaking out on what they believe.
I am very active in my fight to abolish this Megans Law website. It has no business being open to the public. It is strickly a police matter and to have it open to the public puts more people at a safety risk then it does to protect anyone.
Go on bash me for this one... but, all too often I see young children walking to and from school unattended. WRONG ANSWER MOM AND DAD.... You can take the time to walk them or ask another mom or dad in the neighborhood who does take that time... even hire someone if you must... where there is a will, there is a way. You put your money in a bank for safe keeping instead of letting sit in an envelope in your mail box or front yard, so why would you allow your most cherish possession; your child to go out on the streets alone? If you light a fire such as a candle, you blow it out before you leave or go to sleep... why? To prevent a fire. A fire that could kill you... its called PREVENTION. Just something to think about.
I am NOT saying that its always the parents fault... its NOT! Im just saying if you know this danger is out there, take the steps needed to prevent anything from happening.
I guess if we are going to post a site with pictures, address and other information about people perhaps it should be all crimes across the board... IMAGINE:
Your a single women. Your dating and you go on line... or better yet, you meet him at the local grocery store... he seems nice, good looking, well dressed. So why not? You go out on a date with him and he's "MR.WONDERFUL", so you marry him a few months later... then it begins to show. He gets angry if you are late cooking supper or you didnt dust "correctly"... so, he beats the daylights out of you.. Later, you find out... he has a history of this and has even had jail time for murder... or attempted murder.
Let's say your a new parent. You do all the right things during your pregnancy, you have a beautiful healthy baby. You have the best care seat money can buy. When you leave the hosital the nurse makes sure you put the baby in correctly and you set out on your way home. Out of nowhere a car smashs into your car. Perhaps it rolls, perhaps it catches on fire. You struggle to free the child from the safety seat but, the belt is jammed. You cant free the baby.... it dies. The person who hit you has a history of DUI's a mile long.
You own a beautiful house in a quiet neighborhood. You worked so hard to buy it and fix it up so you could enjoy it and show it to your family and friends. One day your next door neighbor moves out, or passed away. A new family buy's it. They are LOUD, DIRTY, and all night long people in and out. You have beer bottles and needles all over the yard... you call the police on a regular basis... one night while your sitting in your livingroom watching TV you hear fighting and next thing you know a gun is fired and a bullet comes into your house, perhaps killing one of your family members. OR, you descover your child was given drugs from this person.
Wouldnt it be nice to have a web site addressing all crimes so we could protect ourselves from all criminals?
I know... really nasty... and way too detailed... true... but, reality is... this happens EVERY DAY... and the chances of this happening is far greater then a CHILD MOLESTER grabbing your child if you are taking the proper steps to ensure safety.
Boy oh boy amd I gonna get bashed for this post... oh well, freedom of speech... its a wonderful thing!
I seriously do have to ask this question: With the people now trying to limit the number of sex offenders who live in an area... where do you suggest they live? How are they going to live? Are you willing to support them... and their family? You dont have the right to say "KILL THEM"... for then you are a murderer. Im just curious.
I know I cant change the world but, being the type of person I am... I do hope that I can make the world a better place for all. Yes, that also means for someone who has broken the law. Including me... I got my very first speeding ticket a few weeks ago.... I broke the law.
Say and think what you will... your no better. And as far as sins... we were all born in sin... so your doomed from the start.
I live in the state of Pennsylvania. If anyone else would like to help me get our voice heard please let me know. I have promised myself and my husband that I will do the best that I can to help others in this situation.
Im sure we all agree that what happens to children of sexual crimes is awful and yes, does need to be stopped. However, the way things are being done now will not stop the problem it will only make things worse.
I do feel more qualified to speak out on this topic then most people do because of what I went through. The men who molested me were NOT strangers. All but one was a family member but, all were trusted and respected. Two of them were and still are well respected and active in our church! Imagine that!
I will not call myself a "VICTIM"... I'm not... I am what you call a "SURVIVOR".
Sorry this was such a long post.
Thanks! Donna
Posted by: Donna | Jul 18, 2006 12:50:51 PM
I am the mother of a falsely accused 'listed' sex offender.
It doesn't matter what you say, or do. If someone wants to ruin your life, they can.
If my son's case is any indication of how the justice system determinines guilt or innocence, the number of innocent people on these lists is limited only by the number of people willing to make an accusation, or get a child to do it. If 10 of 100 convicted on death row in Illinois are in fact innocent...death penalty being the highest standard of law...God help the 'guilty unless God miracles you out of it' crowd.
Just as there are people who intentionally get their children sick, there are those who make accusations. The results are the same, making an accusaton gets you all the same glory and attention - without the hospital bills piling up. In fact you get PAID, or your attention fest is fully paid for.
Prosecutors get 'wins' for convictions. Judges get 'wins'for 'being tough on crime'. My son had an audience of court watchers, cheering for his conviction. Didn't know him. Didn't know the accuser. Didn't know the case. They just knew their presence would get them what they wanted: a conviction.
I don't know how common this situation is. I just know, you are guilty unless you can prove you are not guilty, and even a virginally intact 'rape' victim dowsn't prove innocence, because "Children Don't Lie".
Yes. I know. I'm the 'mother in denial'. Just because the medical evidence didn't support the claim doesn't mean it did'nt happen...and just because she lied in court and said she had never accused before, or had been sex abuse therapy before, doesn't mean she's lying now...
Everyone accused is guilty. Get over it...WE won't 'get over it', of course. You will pay, and pay dearly, for life...but YOU need to get over it...
Posted by: Alyson | Jul 28, 2006 1:17:32 AM
Alyson,
I am very sorry to hear about your son. I agree with you 100%!!! The way society is treating this sort of crime is nothing more then a modern day witch hunt just like the one in Salem!! It is serving no purpose other then causing mass hysteria.
Your also correct in saying that all someone has to do is accuse someone of this crime and its automatically a guilty ... And what I have learned with the way the system works, you have one of two choices...
1) plea bargain to a guilty plea for a lesser charge.... OR
2) take it to trial and pray that your lawyer plays the word game correctly to prove your case and risk getting a VERY long sentence. ( the chances of this are very slim even for the most innocent of people)
In other words... The system one way or another will get you... Innocent or not. Its NOT about truth and justice... Its all about politics... The DA wants a WIN as well as the judge wants to be "tough on crime"...
I wish your son the best! If you don't mind me asking, what state do you live in? I don't know if you have looked into online support groups at all but, I have at least 3 that I am a member of that I would be willing to share the address of if you are interested. At least 2 of them are also sites that are for inmates to obtain pen pals... Of the two of those 1 of them is a free site for the inmate's ad to be posted. Its good for them to receive mail. It helps keep their spirits up and helps make the time go a little faster during his time of incarceration. Its just something to think about.
Take Care!
Donna
Posted by: donna | Jul 30, 2006 6:37:58 AM
I am writing to you as a registered sex offender. You know when I was sentenced over 10 years ago the judge said something about registering. I did not know this was a life time commitment and I did not know it was going to be all over the internet. My crime was a misdameanor for which I did my time and paid my debt. Was there a victim yes. but now there is another victim. Here is what I mean. In the last year I have had to move twice. becuase soon as one finds out about my registration they tell managers and they say move buddy. Oh they try to be so nice about it but no matter its move. WEll I have a Daughter now. She is mine. me and my wife wonder what will happen when she grows up and has to live with the stigma of my actions so many years ago. the Friends she will lose becuase we have to keep moving. The pain she will suffer from friends or kids who find out about my multi year ago crime that nobody wants to forget. I wonder how many more kids out there are stuck in this situation. So a law that was designed to protect public and kids is now doing to opposite. Oh nobody is talking about this. The kids who have a parent that is a Registered Sex offender. What is the impact on thier life. I think if one has been free of crime for so many years should they not be relieved of this registration. Or If they want them to register great but take them off the Net. And then When I read the laws it says this and that about men. But there are also woman sex offenders. You dont see this Blasted everywhere. This law has also trumped all of our Civil Rights. I paid for my crime over 10 years ago but still am paying. The law when I was convicted did not say oh your name will be all over the internet. This was not anywhere in my sentence. Does not the law state you must be told what you will be sentenced to and the Requirments. This Requirment has been changed after I was senteced. So why is it Retro active to me or all those who did thier time may years ago and have never re offended. I could go on about the Pro's and Con's of this Law. But at the end of the Day our Civil Rights are in Jeopardy no matter who you are. THink about it. Can you walk down the street without government watching NO. They have cameras on Light poles now. And can you make a phone call freely. Nope the Government is allowed to tap all of the phones the way they did at AT&T and call it Protecting the security of our nation. When we said hey are you not supposed to give us warning or have Search warrant. Nope not us.
Posted by: matthew | Jul 31, 2006 4:12:14 PM
I recently met a guy, and we hit it off very well. He told me right off that he was on the sex offender registry site. I have to admit that I am a little concerned, but it is human to do so. I do not want to blow him off if it is something he'll never do again. He was convicted of aggravated sexual battery, and is listed as a violent sex offender. This guy was nothing but polite, but I am incredibly skittish to begin with, so when I was told this I became even more so. I'm trying to find out exactly what went on, but I need to find a way to ask without making it sound like I am judging him. I am debating going to the police & asking about the situation. Is that possible? Is it legal?
Posted by: Olivia | Aug 30, 2006 9:29:47 AM
Any of you who are sex offenders are simply here complaining about the treatment you're getting from society. I don't hear you saying much about the impact you've had on the lives of the people you've hurt and how you've negatively changed their lives. You have changed your victim’s life forever so I'm okay with your life being changed forever (eye for an eye). You all have the same theme here; I did my time so why should I have to continue paying? Well it's this simple people; Society knows that your offensives have permanent consequences for the victim. The laws are in place so that the state government can punish you by putting you behind bars for your crime. We can't keep you there for life because it would be too expensive so we lock you up for a while and release you back into society. The way society gets you back for what you did, is to track you like an animal and humiliate you for a very long time. We post your picture all over the internet and send email and cell phone notification when one of you animals moves into our neighborhoods. We as a society realize the victim will pay a lifetime for your selfishness so we make sure you pay for a lifetime too.
Get used to it because it is only going to get worse for you.
Posted by: | Aug 31, 2006 1:19:06 PM
Attention all women: I have a general rule of thumb you may want to consider. If you have children, and you discover your boyfriend is a sex offender, leave him. Don't be a dumbass. Your kids are more important than your love life.
Posted by: Josh | Sep 8, 2006 1:24:44 PM
Dear two posts up... :-)
How WRONG you are.... If you will read up to my previous posts you will see... I WAS MOLESTED as a child... not by one, two, or three men... but FIVE!!! I guess the main thing you right about is, I am NOT a "victim", I am a "SURVIVOR"!
My life was NOT ruined by my past... I was 5 or 6 when it started.. at least that I can remember. It went on till I was 16.
I knew I had a choice.. I could let it ruin me or I could get on with mylife and do something to benefit myself. To become a stronger person. I knew I didnt want to sit around and do nothing but place blame and let those things control my life.
I believe because of my past I am a better parent. I feel that I was more aware of the things that could happen to my children if I was not doing my job as a parent... that job is to protect them... watch over them and NEVER leave them alone with ANYONE you dont trust (and even if you do trust them... still watch closely!) I NEVER went shopping and told me kids... " Go ahead to the toy section, I will meet you there when Im done".... (WHAT A FOOL those type of parents are!)
Another thing your right about and sadly I might add is that YES, laws are going to get harder for sex offenders and SVP's and everyone else... NOT because the laws are working... but, because of pure IGNORACE. These laws are doing NOTHING to stop crimes from happening... they are NOT doing anything they were designed to do... (if they are working and doing as they were designed to do... please send me the link where that proof is located as I would LOVE to see it)
As for society... what a JOKE! Look at all the crime around you.... its always getting worse and worse... the laws have NEVER changed things and have NEVER made any crime less active... NEVER!
You want to keep your children safe... THEN BE A REAL AND ACTIVE PARENT... STEP ONE, WATCH YOUR OWN CHILDREN AT ALL TIMES!!! Don't blame someone else for your neglect...
Posted by: Donna | Sep 22, 2006 7:26:02 AM
I am seeing a level 1 sex offender who already served his time for a crime with a stepdaughter he committed in the late 1980's. I really am interested in continuing a relationship with him. It's so awful that he has such a crime in his past. My youngest child is a daughter age 12 that lives with me. My concern is that I am spending time with a person who might be a threat to her. He and I have discussed his past.
Is there counseling that we could attend together to address his past and its implications on his future. He goes to a counseling group. I would prefer something just for the 2 of us.
Posted by: annonymous | Sep 27, 2006 11:34:53 AM
First let me say that I am a sex offender in Texas. I have read many blogs and have done many hrs of research on Sex Offenders in this country of ours. Second I would like to detail some about my case. My victim is my wife today. My case came down as a result of my wife and I having our first child. We werent married at that time because of her age, but did later. The fact that we were married didnt matter to the State of Texas though, they still choose to prosecute the case after finding out that our first son had been concieved outside of our marriage. I plead guilty to the charge of Sexual Assault after the attorney that my wife and I had obtained informed us that he would need $15,000.00 to take the case to trial. We simply could not afford that kind of money, so he advised us to take a plea bargan that the DA had offered. In our discussions with him as to why it would costs so much, he simply replied that, with the way society precieves these cases that it didnt matter as to guuilt or innocense of anyone being accused. It was about professional witnesses to be brought in and so on to counter act societys embedded beliefs, not to mention the redicule that he as an Lawyer himself would suffer from Society. He stated that it was easier to get a murderer a not guilty verdict than a Sex Offender the same. This made no sense to us at the time. I ended up taking the plea offered by the DA out of being with my family and not realizing the severity of the end results. I recieved a 10 yr deferred adjuducation probation. Today my wife and I have 3 wonderful kids togather. My wife, as I so stated was and is my victim. The DA never spoke to her about any of this, even stated that he didnt want to. Thats when I also learned that this state doesnt have to have a cooperating witness to file a Sex Charge on someone. I've learned alot about this thing since my case. That is all in another story. I have to register for the rest of my life as a Sex Offender. At the beginning it didnt seem so bad. But as time has gone on I find it harder and harder to find a job because I am posted on the web site. More and more people find out about you and many dont want to hire you. You can attend certain events with your family unless you want to end up being accused by someone that resents you being there. We ended up having to go into our childrens College Fund just to make our bills, something that we had took alot of pride in for the kids. Dont get me wrong, I did find jobs, but none of them any good, all minor jobs that no one else in the community wanted. My wife as my victim has stated many times that the only harm that has come to her from this is from the State itself. She consistly tells me that she has no regrets and often reassures me. Today our kids are in school. I think often what will I say to them when they eventually find out through the school or friends. I think about the effects, with being a Sex Offender that it is gonna have on my kids later on in life. Not being able to have friends over, not being able to take them to certain places on vacations like other kids go on and so on. Yall get what Im saying. I see this thing every year changing and only getting worse for sex offenders. Many Cities and Towns are enacting ordinances today restricting where u can live, where u can work, and also stating that you can no longer attend church as well. All of this is merely a major blanket to get to the real icky offenders out there that are actually lurkin around to get to small children, I can relate to the concerns too. To get consistant work I ended up having to open my own business which does ok at at times. I have asked many questions about everything today that is evolving around sex offenders, laws, ordinances and public ridicule. I read just the other day that New York wants to put all sex offenders in privitized communities, but stated that at this time they cant afford it. WOW....When I look at these new local Laws being passed there is one thing that is certain about them, they all violate constitutional rights. The problem is that no one cares and all the politians are seeing this and it gives them all the green light to go ahead and pass them. Gosh, ever noticed how easy it is for them to pass a law regarding Sex Offenders??? I have, it happens all the time. The Laws regarding where sex offenders live, restricting the areas leaves no where for them to live....Think about it everyone. If they can take away the places where a Sex Offender can reside this really leaves him in jeopardy of his registeration laws, that requires him to have an address. No address to report means a violation, violation means going back to jail, get it, now you know whats behind the passing of these Laws...Its a scheme to intentionally place them in violation of State Sex Offender Registration Acts, which they can use to arrest you on. All of these cleaver acts are becoming law more and more everyday. Dont think for a min that they arent gonna use them to put offenders back in jail or in jail. Yes we all know its a gross violation of ones constitutional rights, but then again, who cares, its a Sex Offender. I believe myself as being a sex offender that its gonna be years before any of this is ever gonna calm down. I have faith in myself and will ride it out to the end. Many of the sex offenders out here that got probation for thier crimes while eventually end up in prison, not because they re-offended, but because they will end up in violation of thier states registry with having no where to live. It is gonna get real real hard for a sex offender of any type to find a place to live, if not impossible, ones thats safe anyways. I read about it all the time the threats and killings of sex offenders that had already done thier given sentences. My advise to all sex offenders including myself is keep an eye on all of it each day and stay tuned in to the changes. The only real way to beat these unfair and unjust acts is banning togather in a real colition, attending the legislation meetings and possibly forminga large group. But there again realize that these people are cleaver. Many states are already placing a ban on these groups. As far as anyone ever coming onto the property where I live with my wife and kids, with intentions of harming me over the registry, take heed, I will do everything in my god given power to protect me and my family.
Posted by: SO n Texas | Oct 26, 2006 6:48:25 PM
Can any one tell me if there is a support group that helps sex offenders,I would like to join one and help get these law changed.I live in atlanta ga.I'm Female and I think the way they list sex offenders are wrong having consensual sex with some one is way different that being a predator.They put them in the same category and now the real molesters that rape, kidnap and murder our children can't be watched.those are the ones that need to register.
Posted by: frenchcutie | Jan 28, 2007 10:22:48 AM
Hello all,
I have read this whole blog and i know my story does not even come close to some of you. Here it goes. I was a senior in high school at the time and was pretty well known because of computers. anyway i met a girl that was in honor classes and was also in my PE class. Got to talking and became pretty good friends at first. I was always skeptical of girls because in this day and ago you never know how old they are in high school with all that stuff they wear. anyway when i asked her age she said that she was almost 17. I was 18. i didn't see a problem in hanging out and dating. well a couple months after we were dating things gto more involved. you can guess the rest from there. well i guess she decided she liked my best friend. that is one thing i will not tolerate at all. so i told her we could be friends but i would not lose a friend over a girl. well about 3 months went by and i got a different g/f. didn't seem to be a issue. but then my ex started asking me when we did things and stuff like that. that was a big hint she was goin nuts. so i ignored her and went on finishing high school. 4 days before i graduate the cops pick me up and interview me. they asked if i knew how old she was i said yea 17. cop looked at me like what??? i said why how old was she. he said almost 15. so what did they write in the interview statement... that i was aware that she was 15. now it is kinda funny how the police officer also works at the school and has access to my confidential special ed record stating i have a comprehension issue. hmmm. kinda weird. well they story goes on. then i finally got to read her statement she said that everything was consensual. and at the end she admitted to the cops asking me to do something special to her. when the police asked her when this happen it's kinda ironic that she chose 4 days after my 19th birthday. i believe a lot of this was a screwy setup. It's bitches like this that need to be put on the registration list. Now i am in a battle that i probably can never win. but i will not give up because i still have the love of my family and a girl that actually understands...
on a second note they should separate the predators and the offenders. because there is a MAJOR difference.
Posted by: Nathan | Feb 10, 2007 12:44:26 AM
Oh and one more thing. if you are in high school that should of been the deal breaker. IT'S HIGH SCHOOL they should go and arrest 75 % of the senior class!!!
Posted by: Nathan | Feb 10, 2007 12:53:21 AM
My husband is a registered sex offender.
I was sexually molested by several family members.
Being on both sides of the story,
I can say, without bias, that my husband's actions were not something that I would even punish him for. He had consensual sex with his girlfriend who was underage at the time. They had a relationship, they were happy, and then he went to jail for a few years.
Yes, I was molested. I was a victim. But, I don't just blindly persecute my husband because he had sex with his girlfriend who had lost her virginity - not to him, either - willingly, a while earlier.
We had a child, and he's the best father imaginable. He, in fact, talks about how if anyone would hurt our daughter it would be one of the only times in his life he would get violent. He loves our family, and he doesn't deserve all the pain and hardship he's had to go through because he was in a loving relationship when he was younger with a female who was mentally capable and psychologically ready to have a sexual relationship with him, though not deemed 'chronologically ready' by a blanket taboo.
It's bullshit that creeps who wish that much extensive harm on an entire group of people - while a large chunk of them just had age gaps in relationships or drunken one-night stangs - are out in the world, while people like my husband had to suffer through losing his girlfriend, whom he loved at the time, his reputation, and part of his life.
Sick fucks who wish ill will on others should go to jail. Shit happens, get over it, move on, and stop being judgmental.
I'm not hailing child molesters as good people. But if you happen to get sexually abused, as I did, you can either learn from it and be stronger, or let it overtake your life. There is something very wrong with a person who wishes to molest a child, but jail won't stop them from doing it again. Accepting the fact that they did something horrible, or want to, and getting *rehabilitation* can. If you were molested and it ruins your life that's your choice. If you had a relationship with an older man when you're a younger woman, that's your choice. Never being able to get a good job or live without fear of your past mistakes catching up to you is NOT your choice.
Punishment is fine, if the other person didn't want it to happen. But never being able to change because you're stuck with a terrible label isn't.
We don't throw the children on the playground who bully other children in jail for years at a time, and they probably do more harm in the long run, than an old man who shows his penis to a young girl.
Posted by: Bonjour | Feb 20, 2007 10:33:04 PM
I am a victim of sexual abuse. I was sexually abused by two of my brothers in law. I managed to go about my life with out any couseling as I put it all behind me and created a sucessful life on my own. I was a single mother of three who managed to go to college and get my degree while on welfare. I got the job of my dreams and at the same time met the man of my dreams. Everything in my life was perfect after everything I had been through. I was scheduled to get married this year in sept. Then my 10 year old daughter told me that my fiance was molesting her when I was not around. You can imagine my reaction after all that I have been through. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. As a good mother I imediately called the police even though I knew my entire life was going to change again. I believed my child. My abusers never went to jail and one of them now lives within 5 miles of my house. No one beleived me. I called the police out of fear of what I was thinking of doing to the man I love. Yes I said LOVE. I still love this man very much. For the first 2 weeks we did not talk because he was in jail.When he was bailed out I imediately contacted him. I had just spent the two most miserable weeks of my life without him. YES I did feel guilty for still loving him after what he did. I questioned myself how could I still love him after he knew what happened to me and then did the same thing to MY baby. Like everyone else I make no attempt to excuse his actions and neither does he. He made a confession. He could have esily denied it but he didnt and I guess thats what made the difference to me. My abusers always denied. One has now passed on.
Like I said I make no excuses but he was also abused as a child by more than one person and never got treatment. This was not uncommon for people of my generation. This was TABOO. I believe that sexual abuse is far worse for a man to endure than a woman. My brother died at age 27 because he was abused by the same man as me and spent his entire life getting drunk and high and died as a result of it.
It is comforting to know that I am not the only person who can love someone even after they have done something so wrong. This happend fairly recently so we still have a long way to go with it. I also became aware of the fact that night that my fiance was using drugs when this was going on. My entire family has turned their backs on me becuause I express my love for this man. Iam no stranger to going at it alone. This is coming from the same people who called me a liar and remained in their relationships unitl something else went wrong. I do believe he should have some kind of consequence for what happend but my family wants him to pay for what happend to all of us because none of them did the right thing when we were kids. To me this is unfair. They are trying to make my life a living hell instead of trying to understand. I dont believe jail is rehabilitating for sex abusers who never received help for their abuse. I think extreme psychiatric help plus the love and support from loved ones would be more helpful in helping them to change their lives. That is if they do admit they have a problem and are remorseful and want the help. As one of the other poster's said this man came into my life when my first husband and I broke up because he was a crack addict and was not being a father to our children. My son adores this man who I love and after questioning it was discovered that he did not abuse my two other children in any way. My son will not get on the phone for his father but will run to phone to speak to my fiance. I am not asking to be able to live in a family setting again. All I want is the opportunity to attend family counseling sessions so we can all get the help that we need. My daughter feels terribe because she kept it from me because she didnt want to hurt me and she misses him too because their relationship did not always involve that. The lengh of time was not that long but just one moment is long enough. As I said everything aside from this was perfect. My children and I were able to experience so many wonderful things when we were a family. I know that it is possible for this to still happen but not right away. not for a long time. YES to all of you who are wondering I have stressed to my daughter that it was not her fault and she would never be left alone with any man ever again. I had to have conversaions with her that I was saving until she got oder. I told her about my abuse and the family history of abuse. I told her that I love her very much and I never want her to keep anything from me ever again even if she thinks I will get mad. She is my first concern but I also did not lie to her. I told her I still love this man and why. I will not keep secrets from her and I pray she will never keep any from me ever again. (parents wishful thinking huh) I dont know what I expect to get out of this. Maby some advice I guess because there is no one that is part of my life that could give me an objective opinion. whether good or bad I need to hear it. Thank you
Posted by: ANNMARIE | Feb 23, 2007 10:08:34 PM
i lost my son in 1993 and he had down syndrome and he was very ill and i was with him for three months and then the hospital sent him home with me and my husband and he died of natural causes he had alot of things wrong with him he died in his daddys arms and cps got me for neglect and now i cant be around children and i have two daughters at home with us and i could never hurt a child i love children very much and now i am on a central registry for neglect and i didnt hurt my child what do i do to clear my name any help would be greatful thank u very much very depressed and upset.......
Posted by: rosemary benjamin | Mar 4, 2007 11:20:49 PM
I've been searching for support and advice anywhere I can. Just yesterday I was released from county jail luckily only having to serve 3 months of a sentence that could have been much worse. Long story short, 4 years ago I met a girl in a normal chat room and we hooked up, we never had sex even though the police insisted i confessed to sleeping with her. Well a year and a half later the police were at my door telling me she was under age and I was under arrest. Turns out she met 5 seperate people on 5 seperate occassions (including a husband/wife couple), for sex. These were the only ones the she owned up to. What happened to her? Her family moved out of state. What happened to us? Me, the husband and wife and one other guy all did some jail time. One got off on probation and one killed himself. Now we all have to register under Megans Law. Now we're all lumped into the same category. Yes I agree with Megans Law, but it has many flaws, its a label that can harm people for the rest of our lives. Im a normal 25 yr old guy, I manage a successful restaraunt, I spent 4 years in the military protecting our country, been to college and wont even date a girl who cant get into a bar. But now im an offender in everyones eyes. Sorry to rant out here, but i need to get my feelings out...If anyone can point me in the right direction for some support groups or maybe just others who have been through it before and can offer some advice, I'd appreciate the help. I just want to get my life back. Also if anyone knows how I can find any laws about our Rights and what we can do to protect ourselves from slander mainly in FL and NJ that would help too. Thank you all...
Posted by: Dan | Mar 13, 2007 11:42:00 PM
Possible Hope for minor offenders see this Michigan Bar article.
http://www.michbar.org/journal/article.cfm?articleID=542&volumeID=41&viewType=archivee
Posted by: RS | Mar 15, 2007 2:45:18 AM
I am a male ex-victim of 5 different male molesters during my ages 8 thru 12. I am also and ex-offender CSC 4th. sept, 1994 At the time I was told my crime was a high court misdeomeanor. I recieved no incarceration, rather probation of 4 years and was released after just over 2 years for responsible behavior.
My adopted step daughter was my victem. We by "my choice" before the courts ever recommended it, each spent hundreds of hours of individual thearpy and then our therapists brought us both together for "Conjoint Thearpy" It was tough on us and most tough on her.
Just as many people I imagine say they will never be an alcoholic like their parent I used the same logic to develop the conviction I was never gonna be the one to ever inflict 1 oz of the pain I recieved on anyone, but guess what?
It affects you and makes you feel guilty just to engage in procreation. So when my child was very ill and I opened her shirt and placed ice packs under her arms behind her neck then saw and touched her breast during the process. Yes I think it was intentional.
I thought I was saving her from a 105 degree temperature instead I sent her down a road I never wanted her to even know the name of. She turned me in at her school and I became and continue to be one of the most hated men in the city by everyone, but her and my son. See, I had always told them never to let anyone no matter the person relative etc. silence them if they touch them wrong. So she did listen to me on that.
Yes I feel like a piece of shit. But ask any boy who's first several sexual experiences were forced on them by trusting males and they will tell you that you do not need anyone to tell you to shut up cause you are so ashamed that you never tell anyone and that is where the change in your mind begins. So no one was ever suspected of the wonderful introduction to sodomy and other dandy things they introduced me to.
After my trial the Prosecuting attorney gave me a letter praising my forthright admission, personal insistance and willingness to recieve and insure my step daughter recieved all of the theraputical assistance we required. After that as my wife was a terrible substance abuser they gave me custody of my adopted daughter & son too.
Everything was fine till I was grandfathered into the SOR ACT and Internet posting about 1 1/2 years after my conviction. That destroyed my career and ability to provide for my family. Causing terrible financial burdens on my adopted step daughter and her ability to continue therapy. I lost everything, home career, children, grandchildren. When my son married he said good bye to me, as his wife would not marry him if he intended to allow me to visit their children, my grandchildren.
At 19 I enlisted and was severely disabled in the service during Viet Nam and continue to recieve a small stipend of Disabled Veteran Pay. Otherwise I too would be living under a bridge or in a hobo villiage and in violation of the quarterly address verification and thus incarcerated for it. It was a terrible cost to my family and as for me I don't care if I live another day with this shame and guilt...
only one thing keeps me around and that's the wonderful thing my daughter said after many months of anger. She feels she is doing OK and said it was important to her that I had acknowlodged her pain, did the therapy with her, faced the courts straight forward without reserve....and finally she said "Dad Now The Cycle IS Broken"
Losing your children, wife, grandchildren and career are all much more terrible things than I imagine being incarcerated is.
The SOR list is a joke compaired to the consequensal Life. Its is the real torture. You can have 3 college degrees years of mastry in your career and loose it in two seconds.
Moral of the story if you have been hurt damaged or defiled in some terrible way. Shout it out, get it out, make them pay for what they did to you so yo do not end up exploding and loosing your good judgement for even a momemt. Cause that moment will be the end of life as you know it. Get help before you loose it all in a few moments of terrible behavior and judgment.
As for the SOR list and the internet. I hope someone comes over to shoot me and put me out of my misery. I just hope he doesen't mistake someone else that lives where I do for me and ruin two more lives.
Finally, The national puritanical scare tactics founded several centuries ago are still alive and well. The SOR is the new millennium’s electronic Scarlet Letter. Liberally used now just as then on those alleged Adulterous Harlots and Witches.
Enacted in its current capacity the SOR is an expensive and inaccurate tool. Effective alternatives, that to my knowledge no state currently uses, would be pre trial evaluation of the individual accused. If these evaluations find that the defendant has a proclivity as a habitual sexual predator destined to repeat their crimes; then lock them up and through away both key and “List”.
If however the individual does not fit the evaluated profile for proclivity or recidivism nor is listed for some of the many ridiculous charges others have mentioned above. Destroy the list!
Or, publish a national list for all crimes! I too would like to know if a violent individual only on his second strike is moving in next door!
In its current capacity the Branding of the SOR burns out too many lives, families, and careers.
Thanks for reading, hope it encourages one person to get help before they hurt someone...even though...you never plan too....Lord know I did'nt.
Later, [email protected]
Posted by: Bramded | Mar 15, 2007 4:57:23 AM
since i posted on this site i have found some great support groups. this is to rosemary this is for you. check out s.o.s.s.e.n and sohopeful. just do them under a google search.
Posted by: annmarie | Mar 17, 2007 10:57:44 PM
I stumbled upon this website because I have an assigment on why the Sex Offender Registry should be abolished keep in mind that this was not by choice it was assigned to me. In reading over most of these opinions I have mixed feelings of the idea of a National Sex Offender Registry.
1. I think the registry is completely unethical, I think it is wrong and perpetuates crime, or perpetuates criminals to re-offend.
2. I feel it labels SOME people in an unnecessary way.
3. However I do agree that there are a number of people that should be on the national sex offender registry.
It is in my opinion that everyone that is an offender no matter how long ago, what the circumstances are, or why it happened, need to realize that in fact you are an offender. You were convicted for a REASON there are laws for a REASON. Although you may have changed and you may have repented for your actions you can never truly erase what happened. No matter how much each one of us would like to erase the past we cannot, we all have to live with our mistakes. But what I can suggest is that you keep upholding yourself as a citizen who has changed and has realized how to respect the value of another human being. Who has realized that to take a vital part of someone just because you felt like it is WRONG. Although I do not agree entirely with the registry there are some aspects to it that are trying to prove a point and trying to protect others, the way about it may need some work, but the underlying message hits home.
On a side note I read one of the messages by a man who told you how to live your life without being asked questions, by lieing where you live, USING a women to do it (irony is that is just eye opening), and somehow justifying your actions. To that man excriminalgenious, you are PATHETIC and you need to suck it up and be a man a REAL man (there are some of us out there who truly are men so dont give us a bad name) and realize you did wrong. If you really want to prove that you have changed than face your demons, stop running from them, prove to people you have changed, because honestly all that statement read to me was GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY. And all that breds is the lact of trust anyone would have in other sex offenders. If you guys would like to redeem yourself and give yourself a name than work together. I do believe you all have a voice that needs to be heard and I do believe you should have a equal chance to fight eveyone does that is what our constitution is based on, but please have the decency to respect others.
Posted by: | Mar 30, 2007 12:36:29 AM
I feel that the sex offender registry is good for some offenders,but what if an offender is lied to by a female and is told that she is older than she really is. I know a guy who was 18 and thought he was meeting up with a 16 yr old girl and it turned out that the girl was one week from turing 13, she put an act ( she smoked, had make up on, tight clothes and it turns out she was even a runaway before) I do not feel that my friend is a sex offender, stupid maybe but not a sex offender. He is 24 now and he wants to get a pardon, but he can not until he gets off the registry, this is ridiculous. He currently has a 4 year degree , a member of various honors societies and an active volunteer for habitat for humanity, he needs to get a pardon it is not fair to young people who are put in to the same category as pediphiles and rapists.
Posted by: Anonymous | Apr 29, 2007 4:55:51 PM
I was charged, and lead to plead guilty to a sex crime. I was told by my public defender that I didn't have a chance at beating this case, either take the plea or I would have to spend 30 or more years in prison. I'm a gay American, and I met this guy at 4:30 a.m. in the morning, we had a good conversation. I invited the guy to home I performed oral sex on him twice, with his consent. At the time I use to cross dress with other friends that did the same, however he knew I wasn't a women. He spent the night well the rest of the morning at my house, dressing as female wasn't something I did everyday, so just when going to the club, and hanging out with friends. I changed my clothes, and seeing me as the man I am, the fantasy was over; he could no longer pretend I was a girl. I went next door for something, and when I returned he had got dressed, and left. Approximately two days later, the police showed up at my home. Informing me I was under arrest for sleeping with a 13 year old child, the police stated he was a run-a-way, a well known trouble maker. The arresting officer referred to him, as lier, and a deceiver at the time I don't even believe they, believed that anything took place between us. Being the person I am I gave a statement, I didn't see where I had did anything wrong, I was lied to, and deceived truthfully I felt more like the victim then him. His parents never pursued the case, they didn't even show up in court. The detective that did sign the warrant stated to the judge that he believes that I'm not threat to children, and that he felt this was a accident on my part. I was given a 91 day prison sentence,having to sign as a sex offender, and probation. The day after the trial I was informed by the probation department, that I would have to be under GPS Monitoring according with the new Jessica Law, AT which time the probation office tried to take the case back in front of the Judge to see if he would lighten my sentence, and make it so that I won't have to sign the Sex Offender Registry, because of the cost of GPS Monitoring, and the consequences if not paid. I'm HIV positive, and they were concerned of me getting sick and not being able to make the payments, I'm still not able to make the payments due to house arrest, and limited to where I could go, and what I could do. I'm an intelligent person, I'm kind hearted, I'm a good person, and if I had known this young man was 13 I would not have engaged in sexual relations with him. he lied to me, deceived me and yet I have to pay for it while he goes on with his life; and mine is all messed up. I want a chance to do something, make something out of myself, live before HIV takes my life. Now I really just have a hard time waking up, everyday and carrying on, because I just exist I don't live, I have not life. It's so unfair. I have seen, and met others who are truly pedifils, and deserve to be on this list, but are not. Here I am just made a mistake, it was 4:30 in the morning for God, sakes what is a young teenage boy doing out at that hour, it just don't make sense to me, they act as if I went to the persons house and got him out of bed kidnapped him, raped, him and stuff like that. That was not the case, but yet I'm suffering like this. I believe in protecting children don't get me wrong, I have a nephew in which I love all so much, and would never want anything to happen to him. Some of these laws is Ridiculous, my public defender said, "it don't matter if he lied, children are expected to lie." My question is where the hell is that fair? "How the hell is that justice?" I in no way see that this is right, someone anyone please help me. I'm trying to have the case brought back to court, but I do need a good lawyer I don't have good lawyer money, right now I don't have any money, if anyone knows a good Attorney that would take my case pro-bono that would be a great help for me, or if anyone knows how I could get some help period with this situation, and having this GPS Monitor taken off of me please help me. Thanks All I do ask for pray from all for my situation. Thanks again, and may God, Bless You....
Posted by: Keith | May 10, 2007 4:06:46 PM
I would like to know how old you were Keith, when you fill you were lied to because it seems to me that someone came to your house because they felt that they had no place to go and you took advantage of the situation, but I could be wrong.
Posted by: Anonymous | May 16, 2007 9:11:25 PM
i have read the various stories and found some of them rather interesting. The fact that we paint the offenders on the registry with such a broad brush is extremely upsetting to me. I have a now 22 year old son who is serving a 3 years in Delaware although his time is not really on the charge is not utimately what he will have to register for he will have to register after his release. I am very angry because of this....He was presented with a ID that stated that the young lady was 18 years old, he later found out ag\fter she tried to extort money for an abortion and was not even pregnant...that she was only 15, he was 20 at the time..in the police report she told the police that he was not her first nor second and that she had lied to him about her age...but it does not matter..he will now have to register...Then in my research about this I found another yound man who was accused of rape took it trial and was found not guilty the young lady admitted she lied out of anger because he would not sleep with her, but during the course of conversation he determined the young lady may be lying about her age and her experience when it came to sex...SOOO because of the conversation in which she started he will now have to register as a sex offender charged with LEWD AND LACIVIOUS (ATTEMPT) what the hell is that? But he is a college student majoring in Psy. and minoring in Pre-Law and my son was in college playing football when this happened to him...Two young men who are now messed up for life all behind a lie...and the legistlators want them on the same registry as the predators..This crazy...Although they may have been wrong in who they assoicated with so do we continue to punish someone for a bad judgement call? Something needs to be done and this whole thing needs to be looked at, so that this law can do what it was put into place to do..Which was to protect our children from those predators and pedophiles and violent offenders....Thank You
Posted by: Lawanda Johnson | May 16, 2007 9:57:28 PM
Just a note here...in the state of Va,if your crime/alleged crime mentions minorin its phrasing,and you are found guilty or accept a guilty plea,you are automatically considered a violent offender...after 9/11 my husband and is buddies would kill time goofing off in yahoo chat at the guard armory they were assigned to...while in a va romance chat(over 18 chat room)my husband engaged in sexual banter with someone he believed to be of age...you have to enter an age?birthdate on yahoo...as it goes it was a va police officer...and he was prosecuted,no victim/no underage victim/so sex...but a violent registered sex offender just the same...so virginia had now screwed my young daughter who begins kindergarten this year out of alot of average childhood activities...my husband admitted he was stupid,which is what it was...but now the only victim underage harmed by this crime is my daughters...where are her civil rights and her rights by the constitution...evidently under a rug somewhere,because Va dont give a shit about her...and it bothers me that my tax dollars pay the police to masturbate in chat rooms and learn what it takes to sound like a young girl...is it only me or do others believe the police get their jollies while doing this?...I saw this cop,and he looks and puts off the aura of a pervert...I have been molested in my life...and I get that edgy eerie feeling around sertain people and he had it 10fold...
Posted by: kelly | Jun 2, 2007 10:50:38 AM
I have read all the comments on this site. I too am a sex offeneder and always will be in the face of the law. As they say in aa and na once an addict always. I was 28 and she was 16. She seduced me. But I was stupid. I should have know better and used my head. But nothing I do about it know. I have three great boys that I love so much and a very caring and supportive wife. Yes I would love to chang the law and get rid of the fish bowl affect. As of right now I have no idea how too. I believe in the registry to a point. I will go off the deep end if anyone hurt my boys. I just wish the legislation would take a step back and look at the law. I read the students statement and agree with him or her in many facts. I feel so much remorse for the victims and the familys. God will judge all after we leave this earth please remember this.
Posted by: Knoal in Tx | Jun 3, 2007 9:25:33 PM
I am also a registered sex offender, I was convicted in MI. in apr. 2000,I am tired of these "retro-active" laws being passed. I did not touch a child not hurt a person, I was offered (for lack of a better term) a blow-job, form a girl I was in special education with. we were both the same age (19) and we had been friends for probablt 9 yrs before this happened as we were in special ed togather since 3rd grade. I am planning a trip to D.C. to protest the laws that are being passed. I feel like a black-man in the early to min 1900's. Segragation was not right then and it is not right now. If anybody reads this and is interested in helping me protest e-mail me @ [email protected]
Posted by: Randall Saunders | Jun 25, 2007 12:29:14 PM
My college friend had his password computer broken into by his girlfriend. She found some pictures of minors. The DA wanted to give him 10 years in prison. He had NEVER been in trouble with the law. He did not email, chat, buy any pictures, manufacture, print or rape or molest anyone. He pled to 5 years and sex offender registry. The girlfriend was able to break into his computer and the evidence was admisssable. My friend was told by the police all would be alright and he wrote that he had the pictures in the computer. He is devastated.His family bankrupt from his legal defense, No one will hire him or rent an him apartment. He is only a college kid. Will there ever be justice and redemption? He should not have looked..but if we were all judged by what we look at or read, we may all be felons.
Is there any legal help for my friend? Can he get a pardon someday? He wasa brilliant educator and writer.He sits at home waiting to die.
Can anyone help?
Posted by: DK | Jun 26, 2007 12:59:30 AM
Hi, I found this sight and would like to share a letter I sent to a state rep.
Dear Rep. Simon,
(May 30, 2007) I read your comments in a report on My space and sexual offenders. Let me start out by saying that four years ago I was convicted of 3rd degree CSC. I made one very bad choice in my life that I have to live with everyday of my life. I do not feel bad for myself as much as all of those I hurt. I was a coach and had a relationship with an athlete, I violated the trust that I myself held in such high regard. To this day I still have no good reason as to why I did what I did, other then making a selfish decision. I had coached literally hundreds of youth and as the investigators found out there was not even one case of any person feeling uncomfortable or of me behaving in any other way then professional. I am not proclaiming my innocence nor am I saying that anyone would or should feel sorry for me. I am writing to you to lay out some facts and hoping that you as the media at lease look at the issue of sexual offenses from all views.
Up until my decision to do what I did, I was a successful professional, working the legislature, state senators, The Federal Bureau Prisons, the Governors workforce council, A coach for Team USA and on track to be one of the Olympic coaches and even got to drive for the Presidential Motorcade. The focus of my conviction which I claimed responsibility for and did not lie, was because I was in a position of authority. I did not use drugs, alcohol, or coercion to commit my crime. I will not even discuss the gross negligence of the MPLS Police in my case. That is not my point. My point is what has happened to me since then and what I have learned.
Did you know that non-violent sexual offenders have the lowest recidivism rate among felons? Most people if the watched the news would think otherwise. Did you know that family members or someone close to the family commits over 95% of offenses? Again, if you watched and read the news you would think that 95% are abductions or strangers. The problem is we provide false information or half-truths to the public. This misinforms them as to where the real dangers are. Does registration reduce any of the crimes committed by Family members? Which again are almost all offenses. Why are sexual offenders the only criminal in the US other then Terrorist who are stripped of all their rights not just for the sentence, but also for life?
Many bills are passed every year in relation to this. Cities try to dictate where we can live etc.. Beyond being of illusory value, the bills contain provisions that are blatantly unconstitutional, in direct violation of several fundamental principles of constitutional law in this country - principles like due process, equal protection, protection against double jeopardy and uncompensated property takings. Registered sex offenders - though convicted of felonies and misdemeanors - remain citizens protected by our Constitution.
The academic and law enforcement research does not support the effectiveness of these restrictions. Several prominent research groups - including child abuse prevention advocacy groups hardly sympathetic to sex offenders - have concluded that there is no statistical link between restricting the residence of registered sex offenders and the incidence of sexual assault cases.
More importantly, the proposed bills ignore the faulty theory behind sex offender registration in the first place. Let me clear up a very common misconception - most registered sex offenders don’t commit repeat offenses. Recent research by the federal Department of Justice has indicated a recidivism rate of between 4 and 15 %, lower than for most other categories of major crimes. Here is the really startling fact: by far, most sexual assaults of a child are committed by a parent, other family member or family acquaintance, not the registered offender living down the street. Most of the people on the list of registered offenders served their time, paid their debt to society, and just want to be left alone.
Our elected officials do not want us to be aware of or understand these facts. They want us to be fearful enough to trust that they are looking out for us. Do not be deceived by this group of people - a group representing a direct threat to the liberty and lives of thousands of law-abiding, tax-paying, voting citizens. Citizens just like me. Every year politicians pass thousands of laws that look good on the surface, but mean little to the actual prevention of crime. At what point does the politician actual consider the constitution that they themselves swore to up hold?
Was this country not founded in part by the idea that we were opposed to taxation without representation? Denying us the right to vote? Each day I open the paper I see more and more people trying to make sure I can never live a normal life again, telling me that I am the worse of the worse and have no right to live in this society. Hmmm, what does that sound like? Remember the witch trials, the scarlet letter, Germany?
At what point do we look at the real causes of these problems. When do we focus our energies on laws and education that would actually reduce crimes? All the politicians and media do now is play off the fear of people.
Sense my conviction, I have become bankrupt, can not get a job, suffered from severe depression etc… I stepped up and took responsibility for my actions, I went through the required treatment, I sought outside help to understand why I would do such a thing. I have done everything asked of me and then some. But, the fact remains that my life is ruined and as long as the Media and Politicians, (noting ones who have even committed my same crime) keep praying on the fears of the public I am doomed. Why not give me a life sentence or the death penalty? Honest I have no life now and will not in the future, it is ok to harass, discriminate, and throw me away. In closing it is easy to pick on those who can not defend themselves. I hope that you can look at some of the questions I have put out there and start educating the public on the facts of what sexual offenses are. That may go along way in us living in a safer world, more so then any window dressing law. I am not a leveled offender, but nobody would know that because they do not have a designation to separate people like myself from those who are leveled (more dangerous). Don’t u think that would help?
I in no way think that I should not have been punished for my decisions and I blame nobody but myself. All I am asking is that I have the chance to rebuild what was once a respectable decent life.
Anyways thanks for your time.
"As long as we continue to govern out of fear and not hope, we will continue to erode at the very liberties our fathers founded this country on" --- Eric B
Posted by: Eric B | Jun 26, 2007 3:39:22 PM
To all sex offenders, stop bitching and crying about having to register, if it was up to me i would kill everyone of you no matter how little you think the crime was. If you hurt a child you should lose your life in my justice book. So next time you want to cry about having to let the whole world know about your sins think about the parents who want you dead!!!!!
Posted by: | Sep 5, 2007 5:12:18 AM
To all sex offenders don't listen to that retard | he sounds like a little cry baby that got butt raped and hates everyone, hes just mad cause he couldn't get a reach around
Posted by: in your ass | Sep 7, 2007 9:55:42 PM
I've always felt that when persons convicted of peeing behind a dumpster or an 18 year old boy having consensual sex when with his 15 year old girl friend are made examples of, and have to sign up for the offender registry took all the teeth out of the sex offender registry, but what I read in my local paper takes the cake. A police offoicer had been molesting a 13 year old boy, in the plea aggreement he was convicted of child abuse, but not any sex crime so he could stay off the regisrty. that has to take the last tooth out of the registry we place people on the registry who dont belong there, and keep the real predators off the list so they can move in next door with out our knowledge. good move. I'm an adult survivor of a child hood sexual pedator. the artical is in The Grand Rapids Press grand rapids Michigan saturday april,19, 2008 page A4
Posted by: Richard Peck | Apr 20, 2008 10:22:11 PM
Iam a 41 year old female and am in love with a 42 year old guy who was convicted of sexaul assault back in 1992. he seved 13 years hard time and has until 2012 until he is off of paper. his crime was never with a child but yet they say he cant be around my children how can we ever get maried? why is the law like this? my children love and adore this man he is good to them and is a rel father figure as their dads are absent in their lives. He has never been left alone with my children as this too is against the law. i just wish i had more answers.
Posted by: | May 3, 2008 10:25:31 PM
I think sex offenders should be branded with a mark on their forehead and one on their hand. That way society could recognize them.
Posted by: Diana | Nov 4, 2008 7:36:22 PM
i believe sex offenders should have a choose. life in prison or there balls removed.that easy.
Posted by: mark | Oct 6, 2009 11:04:04 PM
remove offender balls thats easy.student
Posted by: mark | Oct 6, 2009 11:06:56 PM
My name is April and I am 19 almost 20 now. 20 is the age my husband Ryan was at the time he became labeled as a sex-offender. I will say I hate those two words with every blood cell with-in my body. In August of 2005 Ryan & I first met face to face. On August 16th I gave this man my virginity. I do not regret it in the least. I was 15. We are 4 years 10 months 2 weeks & 1 day apart. That being said I do not like the fact that my husband gained this label just by us giving ourselves to each other completely. He does not carry the weight of this on his shoulders alone. I am his victim and I too also carry the burden. So is it fair that we have to carry this with us both through the rest of our lives??I think not!!!We have been advised of way to have him removed and we will try. But as of right now as I am wrighting this I am in Bama and he his in FL. He cannot be here because they will put him in prison for 15 years. He also cannot leave FL because there is an active case going on against my husband. THey are wanting to put MY HUSBAND, MY PERSONAL OFFENDER in a "hospital" for the rest of his life!!!My husband has a 4 year old daughter, and if any man was to ever harm a hair on her head, they would find themselves 8 ft below (yes i do know its actually 6 but he would make sure they never came up again!) My husband is a wonderful man. He is a Godly man. He does not deserve this as a punishment.I believe ppl are abusing the power of labeling ppl as these horrible things. My husband was labeled cause my parents wanted him kept away from me. A restraining order wouldnt work couldnt even b done. I would not consent. I argued and threw fits when they even told me he had commited statutory rape. I could give a shit less about the statutory part. I focused on the "rape" part. He did not rape me. I feel guilty because at the time the only reason I had even laid with him was to be rid of my V card. I didnt want it anymore and he was hot & dreamy and I gave it to him. Now this connection has brought us both together even stronger. There is nothing that could come between us. Even after my parents moved me to another state I still had contact with him. So you tell me. Do you think my husband deserves to be labled as this just for being 4 yrs 10 mnths 2 wks & a day older than me???is that little amount of time good enough for you for it to ruin his life forever??i dont think so I love my husband to much and I hate to see him having to spend time away from me just cause of some sill ass bogus charge he caught over me!!!I think it was a cheap and dirty and low down way to treat him. Also I ask why should I ,the victim, continue to suffer and continuously go thru what I did almost 5 years ago???Why cant he just be left alone...Since our marriage in Dec 2008 i have seen him taken away in cuffs over 6 times!!!I have been so upset by the re-occurances I have had pannick attacks and litterally thrown up due to them taking him from again & again...How much more do I have to suffer before I can have a marriage & a husband???
Posted by: Mrs. Callis | Jan 29, 2010 6:10:09 PM
My 19 year old son was looking at porn in his home in PA. Some of the titles were about child pornography but there were no real children in the films. Usually adult women with pony tails or sometimes two women but always adult porn. PA police arrested him in his home and now they want to charge him with child endangerment and distribution. He has never touched a child or anyone. He was looking at adult porn in the privacy of his own home.
Posted by: A mom | Mar 19, 2010 11:19:21 PM
This enables you to focus on the real problem instead of wasting taxpayer dollars in the register of sex offenders. I think this is the only way to protect our children and would not be a false security that the registration of sex offenders is.
Posted by: generic viagra | Jun 2, 2010 10:46:00 AM
I am a sex offender and i have done my time and was a trie 1 lowest trie req 7 yrs reg.the all of a sudden the changed it to 15 ,and now i have 2 yrs left and just found out that if you complete your req reg sentence and are free and clear -but if you move to another state you have to reg there and see if they req you to reg for time ..I was under the impression that once you were done YOU WERE DONE but it seems i was wrong ..anyone else know anything about this
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Posted by: glen | Jan 7, 2021 9:44:58 AM
