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May 1, 2005

Sex (offenders) in the city

I now have had a chance to read the Eighth Circuit's decision in Doe v. Miller, No. 04-1568 (8th Cir. Apr. 29, 2005) (available here), which upholds against numerous constitutional challenges Iowa's legislation which "prohibits a person convicted of certain sex offenses involving minors from residing within 2000 feet of a school or a registered child care facility."  As noted in this post, Mike at Crime & Federalism has already blogged up a storm about the case, and his three posts here and here and here (along with the comments) get to the heart of the legal and policy issues in the case.  Concerning Doe itself, I will just add that the case is especially interesting for its substantive due process analysis and also for its reliance on "common sense" rather than hard evidence about sex offender reoffending.  Also, the Doe decision, which provides a thoughtful review of a range of sex offender law and policy issues, provides a helpful list in footnote 4 of the twelve other state statutes that place residency restrictions on sex offenders.

Though a lot more could be said about Doe, the broader story is the new social panic about sex offenders which is, like so many criminal justice developments, driven by headline-making anecdotes of horrible individual cases rather than by refined data-driven policy analysis.  (I have prior sex offender posts on the power of the headline-making crime and on the surprising and encouraging data about sex offenses and offenders.)  Tellingly, this New York Times article today details that Florida, prompted by two terrible crimes, "will soon begin the nation's most aggressive monitoring of child molesters at a time when dozens of states and localities are re-examining their policies."  The NY Times article provides an effective national overview of sex offender developments, though the article lacks a refined discussion of the reach and efficacy of what has now been a decade of new criminal laws focused on sex offenses and offenders.

I am concerned about refined discussions of these laws because I fear they can often be written in broad ways that may harmfully fail to distinguish the truly dangerous from others.  Though the term sex offender often brings to mind the worst child molester, many sex offender laws can encompass persons who had underage consensual sex or who merely downloaded the wrong dirty pictures of the internet.  (Consider the work of the group of Save Our TexSONS, which seeks to prevent "unfair use of [sex offender] laws to prosecute teenagers engaging in consensual sex.")

Relatedly, I fear that broad residency restrictions, which may prevent offenders from living in cities or other areas in which treatment and support services are more readily available, may undermine efforts to keep sex offenders from reoffending.  What seems most important to me is that there are follow-up studies and analyses of the efficacy of the sex offender laws which are now being considered a passed during this period of panic.

May 1, 2005 at 09:26 AM | Permalink


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I have heard recently that some states are trying to pass a law forcing all level three sex offenders who have been released from prison and are now living in society to be sent back to prison for life with no questions asked. Is that possible? How can that happen. Do you know anything about this or anything about where I can find out if this is true or not. I really need some answers and some help with this. Thank you for any help that you can give me.

Posted by: Rebecca S. Granger | May 14, 2005 8:14:22 AM

Much as I dislike sex offenders of any kind I think it is wrong to put them all in prison for life even if it could be done. Abuse betray and torture of anyone sexually is easily the most horrid of crimes immaginable. Granted their are some sexual offenders who are so sick they deserve nothing less than the death penalty. Certainly other sex offenders are so beyond recovery in their depravity that they richly deserve life behind bars with no possibility of parole.

I do feel however that their is a subset of sexual criminals who with the most careful notification and monitoring systems in place could be allowed to participate in a limited way in the community. I think throwing even a degenerate sex criminal away giving up hope of them ever rising above their past is wrong. I would never trust a sex criminal around children again ever but, they can work, have a home in areas away from children and contribute to life.

I do not think anyone could get away with making a law that forced all released sex offenders back into prison after having paid their debt to society. I have no love for sex offenders but, even I think tossing them all back in prison forever is going too far!

Posted by: Wolf | Jul 3, 2005 3:20:03 AM

The simple fact is, what has made all of this possible in the first place is computer technology. There's already talk of registering other types of offenders and even people associated with certain groups. See Sheriff Baca in California who wants a registery for skin heads and neo-nazi groups.
Here's what's in our future in no particular order:

Special license plates for DWI offendors, Sex Offendors and any other kind of offender.

GPS tracking for all felons.

Zoning felons to specific geographic areas. This already occurs by rent restrictions.

Sex Offenders and other felons will be denied health care, education and being admitted into an 'old age' home. ( This is already happening. )

All of this will lead to:

Automatic lifetime incarceration for all sex offenses.

Death Penalty for any 'contact' sex offenses.

From there...other things will happen.

There is NO DOUBT in my mind, that America has been lost. When you have a Supreme Court that says going back and making someone register AFTER their sentence is done is not a violation of the constitution, why even HAVE a constitution. It's laughable on it's face. Corporations can now confiscate private property. The list goes on. Why does THIS surprise anyone.

America is dead and CNN and FOX and your local TV reporters KILLED IT with 'what bleeds, leads' giving America the impression that you need to live inside a fortress and your computer will keep you safe because if you just 'knew who the bad guys were you could' ...you could...uhmmm...uhmmm...BE MORE AFRAID. Meanwhile, anything of substance that they should be using the airwaves for, is non-existant.

Remember the boy scout recently lost in Utah, he EVADED the people looking for him for four days for FEAR OF BEING KIDNAPPED. It's a mindset in our culture.

I'll say it again and again and again. Statistically the most potentially dangerous person to your child is....YOU or someone in your family. Further, over 80% of sex offenses are committed by someone who doesn't have a prior record.

It's over, man. This society, the people of this nation, aren't deserving of what was given to them because there are too many people willing to piss it away with such ease.

James Madison said, 'I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations.'

Those founding fathers said a lot of good things that we've seemed to have tossed out the window.

'They that can give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither.'
- Benjamin Franklin

Oh well, we made it for 220 years, then the computer came along and everyone went insane. Ted Kaczynski was right. How funny is that ? This decline in civil liberties began in the 90's. Ruby Ridge, Waco. You don't think so ?

How many children did the US Government kill at Waco, burned to a crisp ? 33 was it ? Shot Randy Weavers wife standing in the door of his house holding his 15 month old daughter with a sniper rifle. Killed her dead. Why ? Because he wouldn't cooperate with them and become an informant.

I have a question. If we 'won the cold war' then why are we acting more like THEM now, the people who we fought all those years, than they do ?

You can no longer travel to Canada or Mexico, that is LEAVE this country without a passport that is of course, issued by the federal government starting in 2007. We're sealing the border up to...KEEP PEOPLE IN. Wasn't there another country that used to do that. Who WAS it that did that kind of thing again ?

Pssst....The US didn't win the cold war. We're just in the 'selling off' phase.

Show me your paperssss ....

People better wake up before it's too late. You may have to stand up for the rights of some people you dont' like but remember you may need them when they come after you, brother.

Posted by: xso | Jul 14, 2005 4:18:34 AM

Although I am not a sex offender, I do have some experience in persecution. I am a felon, convicted 6 years ago. What many people do not realize is that for a felon of any kind, it's not "just your sentance". Even though you're qualified for a job, many places will dismiss your application immediately if there is a conviction on your record. Now, I know many will say, "Well, that's what you deserve." The only problem I have with that is....I have already paid my debt to the public, in jail and financially. Should I still have to pay my debt by not being able to get a job? I was one of the lucky ones. I was blessed enough to have someone take a chance on me, and now have a good job. Unfortunately, my story is one of the few and far between in America. Remember, felons are people too...they are not their crime.

Posted by: Walker Boh | Oct 28, 2005 11:48:05 PM

I just want to say" yes Im a Sex offender". Im sorry for what I did and wish I could turn back the clock and make better decisions. Its been now 10 years since my crime. I havent re offended. Im on the internet I have to register with the city and state. Im on record with the FBI. They have my DNA. I have to lie to get a job I have to lie to have a place to live. I fear someone could find out about me.I just want to be left alone to live in peace. I did the crime I did the time. 4 years of theraphy. I hate it when someone commits another crime. people get mad and I dont blame them. Of couse then they want to punish me all over again. Change the law to make my life hell again. They group us all together. I understand your fears. I dont think I want a sex offender living next to me either. The world we live in isnt safe. We need to watch our children. What you really need to think about is this: Its the Sex offender that hasnt been caught. What more do you want from me.

Posted by: Andrew | May 3, 2006 10:52:06 AM

My story is the same as Andrew's. In 1995 I was convicted of attempted sexual abuse in the first degree. I was given times served which was three months and 5 yrs probation. I attended one on one therapy for the entire probabtionary period and some. I was required by law to register with NYS dept of criminal justice Sex offender regisry. At the time of registration, i was required to reregister every year for 10 yrs. I abided by the local laws as well. I have rebuilt my life from losing everything to what i have now. Now when my 10 year obligation was close to an end, a new law passed requiring all level 1 registered sex offenders have thier obligation extended another ten years. Now I am suffering again. At times I feel I would have been better off in jail. I was given a sentence as required by law and followed its rules. I have never reoffended nor have I ever been in trouble with any law enforcement authorities. I lost my life when I committed an unspeakable act resulting losing my wife home and dignity as i should have. I feel that after all I have done since my conviction has ammounted to nothing. I do have a very good job, a car and excellent credit. I committed my crime in NYS. Now i live in Florida. Believe me it is no joy living in Florida either. Florida's Law pertaining to sex offenders are very very intense and are strictly enforced. I worry every day what will happen next for all offenders. Lifetime encarceration is not the solution. Whats next, Public burning. I now live with my younger sister and her family because i cant rent an apartment anywhere in Florida. All landlord and apartment complexes run credit checks and criminal background checks. Application state that sex offenses of anykind are grounds for disqualification. I cant buy a home because i am not able to live within 1/2 mile of any playgrounds, schools of anykind and daycare centers. Even towns in SW Florida Ban registered sex offenders from thier towns.
We are for ever paying for our crime. I also understand society's concern. Sex offenses of anykind are sick especially when young children are the victims. I have nieces and nephews. I pray everyday for their safety. And the Laws do protect them. However, the laws are for ever changing to make punishment more severe. We have nobody to speak out for us. We are constantly dealing with double jeapordy which are in violation of the Laws which are enforced by courts. But when it comes to sex offenders everyone looks the other way. Drug dealers and murderers have it better. I dont mean to compare,but they are not required to register and are able to live near schools and playgrounds etc. I dont want my family killed or drugged up either. Sorry to babble. Most newly reported offenses are from people who have never been caught before. My family will forever live in shame thanks to the new laws. And I may soon be homeless.

Posted by: Michael | May 19, 2006 8:13:51 PM

I am also a registered sex offender. I recently lost my job, now with all the background checks that *everyone* does I am finding it impossible to find a job. People can do background checks without your approval as long as they have your social security number and personal information. Of course they don't *tell* you that you were not considered because of that because it would make them possible targets for a lawsuit. All you get is "well you just didn't fit the qualifications". I have been told this by people who found my resume on the net and were seeking *me* out because of my qualifications.
So let's see, we are not supposed to have jobs, or places to live. I am not a violent offender but I can see why violent offenders re-offend. It upsets me but I just have to go on.
I have custody of my two sons and if I don't get work soon, we will be out on our proverbial ears.
I paid my dues, did my probation clean AND counseling and would like to get on with my life, however society doesn't want it that way.
You know, they have all of these sex offender web pages, why not set one up for murderers, put police and public officials at the front. How long would that stay up before they found a reason to shut it down?

Posted by: Ty | Jun 8, 2006 2:37:48 PM

Hi, I am the wife of a registered sexoffender. My husband has been off parole since 2000 and instead of getting easier, life is getting harder. After dealing with harrasment and being politely (yarite) asked to move from our home in Washington state some friends talked us into moving to Kentucky.That was almost 3 years ago and just 2 weeks ago he was finally able to get a job. Now after living in this house for almost three years our landlord started talking to us about us buying it from him. (Incidently don't give up completely there are great landlords out there)Anyways what happened is this great state we live in decided to toughen up the laws on where we can live so buying this place is out of the question because we are 150 shy of the 1000 foot restriction of living near a playground.The funny thing is we didn't even know there was a playground around till this came about. We dont get out much, I'm sure you all know about that, its easier to stay home and avoid the stares.Hey maybe we should all get together and buy a few hundered acres and open up a mobile home community for registered offender and their families.

Posted by: Darlene | Jun 15, 2006 10:47:29 PM

all these laws come from the BIBLE...Any deviation from the book will get you all the pink triangle!!!

Posted by: ANON | Jun 26, 2006 1:00:53 AM

Hi, I too have been convicted of a sex crime and like so many others I've been reading about, I've served my time yet I'm still being punished. What's so different in my case is that my step daughter told the prosecuter that she'd lied in her accusation. How did the State handle this bit of info?, they made her a hostile witness and tried the case anyway.After serving five years in prison I'm now serving five years on probation For a crime I DID NOT commit! Oh yeah, did I mention that I had to take sex offender classes and polygraph tests. Well the classes and polygraphs were suppose to continue until I complete the full five years of probation, but wouldn't you know ALL MY POLYGRAPH RESULTS POINTS TO MY INNOCENTS! Imagine that. During the one year I spent in class, the State hired expert on sex offenders stated verbally and in his evaluation of me that in his expert opinion I WAS NOT A PREDATOR...imagine that. Well I said all of that to say this, If a person is guilty of such a hideous offense or any offense, then that person is deserving of their fate because NO child should have to be subjected to that kind of treatment; but if a person is innocent, don't condem a person to a life of misery. I gave this country twenty-one (21) years of my life fighting for the rights of the American people as a serviceman. I've been shot at, deprived of sleep, spat on, and yes even pissed on, all for the rights of the people of this country, yet today because of an over-zealous prosecutor and a law that is unconstitutional, I'm on the verge of being homeless. All I can say to that is I'm ashame to be part of such a country and so many others should be ashamed of supporting such a insane law, all for the support of greedy political constiuants.

Posted by: JR | Jul 10, 2006 5:30:36 PM

It's my understanding that most registered sex offenders are juveniles,children you could say,and probably most engaged in sex with a female ,who was willing,but not of legal age,the law for legal age in my opinion is to strict,people engage in intimacy,because they like each other,5 years age difference means nothing to most people who want to engage in sex,it's called dateing ,or human relationships,natural and normal,and for doing this people are being severly punished,the laws are creating more stress and issues for them and makeing matters all around worse,what is a true pedophile,i believe most offenders are not a danger to society,the laws to restrict where a registered sex offender can live is ignorance of are goverment,because in my opinion that won't stop any offender who wants to reoffend,he or she will just find a victim somewhere,and in the mean time offenders who want to have a better life,the state makes it almost impossible to survive for them and their families.I know first hand,when an offender gets sentenced to prison,they don't get treatment until almost the end of their sentence,what good does that do,when a baby does something wrong,do u ignore and punish a week later,no,they don't learn that way,society and the goverment in my opinion,don't know how to handle this correctly,and it is never going to be resolved as long as humans are born,and we have natural tendencies,support groups,awareness,i mean it's to the point,that if you look at someone,they can feel it's sexual harrassment,we are to sensitive,i don't believe prison helps at all,i feel a rehab center,like we have for drug addicts,alcohol addicts is a much better solution,
even sentenced to a mental facility,that has good professional help,revenge is never a solution,maybe it's time sex offenders stood up and voiced their opinions publicly,maybe as a group,wore signs saying they are sex offenders,that would put some fear in are goverment,because pressure would be high,to control public outrage,the goverment would want to curb problems ,stand up and fight i say,where is any help for sex offenders from the public or are goverment.


Posted by: Dorothy | Jul 16, 2006 3:23:16 PM

I am the wife of a sex offender. My husband will be on probation for 10 years and the DA wants him to register as a sex offender. The girl that filed the complaint, also made the same complaint against 3 other men, she waited 20 years to do this and the DA has no solid concrete proof ( medical records) that anything sexual happened to her when she was a child. She has lied so many times during the past 2 years and the bad part, my husband and I are totally broke. We have no more money to fight this, so our life is screwed all because this girl didn't get what she wanted, which is my husband. How do you go on?

Posted by: | Jul 17, 2006 8:16:10 AM

This site is a beginning,i am wondering if it would be legal,for everyone who sees this site to print these stories and pass them around,the public needs awareness.I am a mother of 54,3 son's,1 daughter,my oldest son was married,but seperated,seeing his wife on the side and had a girlfried also,he couldn't make up his mind who he wanted,the girlfriend didn't like that,she would get angry and say they were finished,but she would be back a couple days later,they were doing this for like almost a year and a half,in between that time,my next oldest son,him being a good friend of hers,they got together,both my son's left her,then soon afterwards,she accused my oldest son of rapeing her,in my home,when there were half a dozen people here then,he didn't get charged,i was thankful,but within a scope of less then 4 months after that,the girlfriend and her best girlfriend told the police my other 2 sons,raped and molested their children,my sons has no defense,for the fact that they did on occasion babysit those children,and when you have 3 children against 1,the state isn't going to believe you,imagine how terrible it has been for me,all 3 of my sons in a timeframe of less then 4 months accused of sex crimes,i came close to commiting suicide a couple of times,1 son is still in prison,i have to survive to be supportive to him,so i do know what sex offenders have to deal with in their daily life.I am scared,and i didn't do anything wrong,but the entire family unit gets broken apart.

A mother A friend A human being

Posted by: Dorothy | Jul 18, 2006 10:00:33 PM

As A Registered Offender all i can say is that the law has taken this"bandwagon"too far for it's own good.I was found guilty of having consensual sex with a 15 year old girl when i was 20.My Original charges were Sexual Assault and Endangering the Welfare of a Child,the Sex Assault was quickly dismissed when the girl stood up and told the jury that she actually initiated the sex and pursued a relationship with me.The Endangering Child charge stuck because regardless of who initiated the acts it was still against the law.I Served 6 Months in Monmouth County Correctional Facility and released to my home on 2 Years Probation and Community Supervision For Life!I have Been Assessed By The Mon.Cty Prosecuters As a Level 2{moderate Risk)Because I used to drink and have experimented with drugs in the past.What that has to do with reoffending now I still havn't figured out,but I have been sober four years now.I am not a threat to anyone!Never Have Been!Never Will Be!In fact the severity of my crime was so insignificant that I am not even listed on the internet registry in NJ.But i can be added at any time.I must reregister with local police annually.I am not allowed to live within 1000 feet of places where children congregate and cannot take my own children trick or treating on halloween or answer the door when girl scouts(or boy scouts)are going door to door selling cookies or candy.WHY? Because I am in the same "Group" as the real monsters who might actually lure one of the scouts inside his home and steal the innocence and,or life of a defenseless child.I understand the purpose,or the idea behind the registry is to protect the public from all of us MONSTERS!,but botomline is that we are not all monsters and something definately needs to be done to differentiate the registrants who might pose a threat of reoffending and the 1000's of guys like me who wood pick up your son or daughter and carry them home if they fell off their bike and hurt their leg and needed help.If I tried to help a child now i would go to prison.All Because i made a stupid mistake 5 years ago.Sorry but i dont belong in that "group"! The list original intention was for the police to keep an eye on predators.Now any one of you reading this can wind up on it simply for not being able to reach a bathroom and relieving yourself where a child jus happened to see your private areas.So I hope everyone is happy and feels safe,you all helped this list become the real MONSTER! Destroying Lives Of People that dont deserve it adding punishment after the fact.One Day A Sex Offender legally purchases a new home for him and his family,a week later he has 90 days to move or go to prison because the law changed once again and now he lives within 1000 feet of a daycare center that is being constructed.Will a mass suicide of all sex offenders who's lives have been destroyed by a mistake make them see that they have taken it,and continue to take it,way too far?That the laws they are enacting need to be rethought and revised in so many ways.Probably not even that would help them understand the injustice.Unless some of the creators jus happened to be related to or knows personally somehow,one of the deceased who took his own life because he was tired of moving every month,and couldn't find a job,and had neighbors picketing outside his door telling him he doesn't belong there.The laws going into affect daily are hate crimes,and the people passing them need to open their eyes and see that. I am forming a group to rise up as an army and fight this travesty.We arn't doing anything to help ourselves on this underground website.I will lead the revolt I jus need supporters.We cant let this continue to destroy lives of people that dont deserve it the time has come speak up!!!These stories almost brought tears to my eyes.I was tought at a young age to speak up and fight for what is right.I have done excactly that my whole life.Dont be afraid .What do we have to lose?Seriously think what more can thay take from us if we publicly cry out and fight them?You Cant Treaten A Man Who Has Nothing Left To Take!!!!!

Posted by: Jay | Jul 23, 2006 7:19:17 PM

I am appalled at the amount of young boys lives being ruined by labeling them as you would a true rapist and sex abusers. We all need to stop typing on the internet and organize. Start coalitions, form groups, talk to our politicians, contact media. This has to stop and we have to do it!!!

Posted by: deb | Jul 28, 2006 2:57:27 PM

Lets help the innocent help change the law

Posted by: rozlyn | Aug 6, 2006 11:38:21 PM

Please email me if willing to help fight.

Posted by: Jay | Aug 8, 2006 6:55:42 PM

I am the girlfriend/fiance of a NON-predatory sex offender living in Oregon, we were planning on getting married soon. The charge that he got was NOT on a minor, it was on the mother of his children. They got into a fight over her cheating, she fabricates some story, he goes to prison & here we are. His parole officer recently showed up at my house and told him he could not be at my house because I have a child living in the house, told him to leave and not come back. The next day he was givin a new restriction from his parole officer to not frequent me or any place that I reside. Regardless of my child being home or not it is still a violation and would probably get children services involved. He is not some pedophile, or rapist. The relationship with his own children has suffered it's toll and now our relationship is being destroyed. Had we gotten married would he have been allowed in our home then? Are there anyways around this so we can continue our lives together? Please email me if anyone has any information on this.

Posted by: Crystal | Aug 11, 2006 1:04:25 PM

I just read several of the posts on the internet re: what sex offenders have to go through for the rest of their lives. In my case, I got two massages for fifteen minutes in lieu of a repayment from a foreign exchange student who wanted to stay with me, a single male, in my apartment. She turned out to be a weird, spoiled person who was fifteen years old. Yes, I was naked in my apartment, and that is against the law. But, should that be a lifetime sentence? I did not have sex with her. I applied aloe vera on her sunburn after spending an hour at the beach, so that was another charge against me, because one may not have any contact with a minor. My behavior was not correct, but I did not do something deserving of a life sentence. Yet, in this country, that is what I received, because I have to register as a sex offender like many of the other posters here. The girl added that I masturbated in front of her, which is ludicrous, because I have never done such a thing in front of anyone. She was mad at me for yelling at her that she should not stay on the computer for so many hours at a time, and that she needed to answer when someone spoke to her. I speak her native language, so that was not a consideration. That incident happened to be on the day that she was finally placed with a host family for the school year. She was only supposed to be with me for a few days, but it turned into a couple of weeks. That has been five years ago now, but for the rest of my life, I will always regret letting a stranger who was a minor into my living space.

One person asked, how do you go on? Days like yesterday I foundd myself not wanting to go on. What's the point? I have no career anymore. I'll never have a career in this country again. At 48, who would want to hire me for a job that I don't have experience doing? The longer I have to do manual labor just to survive, the less thrilled I am about my existence. Men have a tendency to withdraw, to isolate, which is also what I have done. That compounds the loneliness, disappointments, and feelings that life really won't get any better. Even my probation officer told me that it won't get better. It will just go on.

Some may ask if I have turned my life over to God to make this his burden. Yes, I have. But I still have human feelings and emotions. Being ostracized by our society, having to live with the notion that I bear an ugly label like a scarlet letter worse than a murderer's is very unpleasant for me. Knowing that the money, thousands of dollars, I paid the lying attorneys went to support their continued tactics of deceiving other clients still makes me angry. My last attorney said he didn't want to say anything bad about the girl, because it would make us look bad. Huh? Some of what she said was false. It was not true. It was a lie. It was a misconception. But, instead of defending me like an attorney should, when I told him that I had no more money to pay him after several months of him dragging the case along, he told me to plead guilty. That's just wrong. How does one win? There is no winning. I won't be surprised when the day comes that I finally throw in the towel. Eleven more months of a five-year probation, plus fines, incarceration, sex offender classes for 20 months, and the rest lead to what? A better life here? With the way this country is heading, we are becoming the model enemy of the people, by the people, and for the people. We no longer can point a finger at communists and say how bad they treat their citizens. Our country has the highest per capita rate of incarceration than any other nation in the world! This is the land of the free? We cannot build jails and prisons fast enough to house more "criminals" who will forever have a poorer life. Economically, would it not make more sense to allow citizens who paid their debt to society to try and earn as much money as possible? Embrace capitalism. Then they would contribute to the economy by paying more taxes, hiring other workers, building more businesses, and understanding the plight of the underprivileged. Instead, the policies keep changing to go backward.

Over a year ago I went back to court to ask the judge to let me change to informal probation. Without even talking to me like a person, he immediately said that I was not sorry enough. He said that I kept the girl in the apartment against her will. What the heck? I tried every day to have her counselor find a home for her, but she was too busy with other things in her life. Because she didn't do her job, I put myself in a very bad situation, and will never recover. How do you go on? What's the point?

Posted by: Rick | Aug 13, 2006 11:03:15 AM

not all accussed offenders are guilty so why should all have to suffer.

Posted by: yulonnda | Aug 16, 2006 4:30:10 PM

not all accussed offenders are guilty so why should all have to suffer.

Posted by: yulonnda | Aug 16, 2006 4:30:14 PM

I too have suffered living as a sex offender. I don't know how to go on anymore. I have finally decided to give up and it has made me into an angry person. I despise society and all children. So much that I decided to help animals more instead of human kind. I have no reason to live in this cruel world anymore. Always helping others in life and being good, and this is how I get treated in return. America is truely a messed up continent, after probation I will most certainly live in another country at least I wont have to register over there.

Posted by: Vegan | Aug 23, 2006 2:51:46 AM

I concur. For years I helped others. I went out of my way to be the nice guy. I took in this stranger. Damn it. But, my level of interest in this life is very low. Even when I finally get off probation after five worthless years of stagnation here, what will it have served society? My plan, also, is to leave this country. But, frankly, I don't even care to try to start over somewhere else. Part of the problem is that I keep waking up the next day. I ask God to fix that problem for me, but he hasn't done anything quite yet. I won't be missed when I'm gone. People don't want one around for long if one isn't doing something for free like I used to do. I'm just over this whole scene. As a child growing up in a poor family, I often felt sorry for my mother who begged God to "take her home." Her pain has become my reality. That is, her pain of existence. She died in 1992, so she has been free for a long time. The one I miss the most, though, is my dog. Friends have let me down. Siblings don't care enough to pick up the phone or visit me. I have to do manual labor to survive, and then I isolate until it's time to face the new day. Hopefully my spirit will once again soar when I leave this country. In a year from now someone may read my post and wonder about me. Did I make it out of here alive? Maybe in body, but I'm not so sure about my spirit.

Posted by: Rick | Sep 2, 2006 4:56:22 AM

I'm the wife of an offender with an old conviction. How old? The Iran-Hostage crisis hadn't happened yet, that's how old.

Now, after decades of doing nothing wrong, he's suddenly being treated as a dangerous predator. He can't even take our son to the park anymore, or go watch him play sports. Oh, and we might have to move now. My husband thinks the best thing he can do for his son right now is die. Living a law-abiding life doesn't matter, and it doesn't matter that he's dedicated his life to helping others, and it doesn't matter that everyone who knows him--even law enforcement who come to our house every month, as if he was on parole or something--think it's stupid and wrong to do this to him.

But it doesn't matter. There's no appeal because it isn't "punishment" to be ordered out of all your own child's activities, to be ordered out of your own home. It isn't "punishment" to be subjected to death threats and vandalism, either, apparently.

But you know what? Someday the rest of the country will figure out that all those court decisions don't just apply to sex offenders. If none of that crap above is punishment for my family, it isn't for yours, either. Equal protection and all that. If the government decides that something in your past makes you dangerous to anyone--doesn't even have to be a conviction anymore, check out Ohio's new registry--thwy can do whatever they want because it's just a "regulation." They don't even have to prove they're right. They just have to say they "believe" they're right.

So it's okay for the state to put legal bullets into my family's heart. It isn't punishment, of course. Just there to protect the children--except mine. Doesn't seem like he counts to anyone but me and his father.

Posted by: Hali | Sep 8, 2006 10:50:55 PM

How do we fight to change the registry laws? My brother in law was arrested 17 years ago for fighting with his girlfriend. She cried rape and he copped a plea for sexual battery. He now has to register as a sex offender and cannot get into a halfway house for his drug treatment because of this status. Why is there not a separation between this and child predators and serial rapists? 17 years ago there was not a registry and who would have known that copping a plea like this would change his life forever? Each time he goes to rehap, they kick him out of halfway houses because of the status. There is no where for him to turn.

Posted by: Lisa DeLaurentiis | Sep 26, 2006 11:38:03 AM

I am the mother of two boys in Florida. In August of 2002 our family was ripped apart by false allegations of sexual abuse. One of my sons was twenty and the other one was thirteen when they were accused initially of the rape and sodomy of a four year old neighbor and her six year old sister. They dropped the charges for the four year old beccause it did not add up, but persued the charges for the six year old. The funniest thing was througout the whole ordeal, all the reports, and depositions, neither girl ever said it was my boys. To make a long story short, my oldest son was facing ninety-nine years. We went to trial the little girl testfied that she had never seen him before in her life, she didn't even know who he was, he did not live with me at the time and we are still trying to figure out how he got caught up in this mess. After two years in juvenile court my youngest son's charges were dropped, he was facing at least nine maybe ten years. It was an awful ordeal for them and our family. No one apologized, my boys has not been the same and I think they are angry with me because there is nothing that I can do to remedy the situation. I have always taught them to do things the right way and there will be justice. I think I have failed to teach them of the INJUSTICES!

Posted by: Jackie | Sep 27, 2006 2:23:48 AM

Here in my country, a large company recently refused me a job because of a criminal record I got after making love to a 13 y.o. when I was 20. That happened more than 15 years ago.

To the judge who took the case, it was obvious this was not a question of sex offense but of love that was "out of norms" and so I had no fine and no time in jail. I was off with a probation.

Because I had been pardoned, the company had to pay me a huge compensation but there seems to be no protection in the U.S. against persecution. I even heard of cases where a 15 y.o. was sentenced to 8 years in jail for making love to a girl his age. That would never be allowed here.

I think you should all think very seriously as to why the american constitution defends the right to carry firearms. I think you should unite and fight back and violently if need be.

Better to risk dying fighting than to suffer a lifetime of persecution.

The american justice system will have to realize the painful way that to put people in situations where they have nothing to lose by committing the worst atrocities to avenge themselves and nothing to gain by being decent citizens is not a good idea.

Right now, the financial cost of enforcing such stupidity is enormous but that's not a deterrent. My advice is... let the blood flow. Eventually, when the human cost gets so high then and only then they won't be able to afford it.

Posted by: Midway | Oct 10, 2006 7:16:18 AM

Midway, that's the most irresponsible and outrageous course of action I've heard suggested, and should be condemned.

It should be noted that--while losing their homes, jobs, families, and any possibility to ever lead a productive life--the overwhelming majority of registrants have NOT committed a new crime of ANY sort. Even when the public actively breaks the law to harrass, threaten, assault, and even murder registrants, registrants continue to live by the law within the community. Hardly the response one would expect from what politicians and activists would have the public believe are "uncontrollable monsters."

In fact, vigilante violence against registrants is on the rise nationwide, and its roots can be traced to community notification and the lack of interest law enforcement shows in enforceing laws against lesser misuses of registry information. No other class of citizens is obligated--under threat of imprisonment--to provide their daily whereabouts to people who want to murder them.

Posted by: Ilah | Oct 11, 2006 12:14:21 PM

Hi, I am a level one offender living in NY having been convicted on a single count of possesing a underage child photo and having faced the same hurdles as many of you others.My concern is with our idiotic Governor,legislators and court system.While they had ten years to review and change the sex registration laws so that our registration times would be extended they waited until the very last month of the tenth year to do so thus punishing all of us further.This is ex-post facto punishment and should not be tolerated by anyone and the new laws struck down.You people which were on the verge of being taken off registration should be the most upset as I have only been on for three years but still extremely pissed off.If anyone out there knows if these news laws are being challenged in court please by all means let me know so that I can feel better.If not maybe we as a large group acting as one can pool our resources and get the best appeals attorney money can afford to fight this injustice.After all money is some instances is the best choice.Please let me know how everyone in this same boat feels.
Thanks for listening

Posted by: steve | Oct 14, 2006 10:25:40 AM

My son was charged with child endangerment,paid his fine and did 3 yrs probation in the state of NJ. We were not told once he was off probation he was going to be placed on 15 yrs parole and have to have new evaluations done. I have 7 yr old daughter and my son was no threat to her or any other child. Probation had no problem with them being in the house together . He is on tier one. Now its a whole different story with NJ parole. The girl he endangered lied about her age. He believed she was over the age of consent. What I don't understand is this: if he served his probation and is signing Megans law why is he now on 15 yrs probation?

Posted by: nancy | Oct 25, 2006 8:43:35 PM

My son was convicted of "Attempted sexual contact" at the age of 12. The girl was younger and he did not know her. In the state of Washington he was leveled a 2 and here they do community notification on 2's. Anyways, he did his probation for 2 years, community service, sex offender treatment for 2.5 years and he has never been in anymore trouble with the law. He's gotten a job and has and is doing well in school. Now he's 18 a senior in high school and we are being evicted from our apartment because he's a sex offender and we can't find a place to live. It seems to me that no one wants to admit that a kid can change and be rehibilitated. (so why do we have a juvenile system?) The classification of sex offender has gone completely out of control, especially for juveniles. It happened at the Age of 12 and unlike other convictions such as manslaughter that is tried in juvenile court, this won't be sealed or go away. What are we suppose to do?

Posted by: Colleen | Dec 3, 2006 1:16:23 AM

I am a sex offender in california, watching the wheels go round and round. Myself, my wife, and my 9 month old son are leaving california. I have been looking throughout all of the united states for a place to live. I have been reading about what each states does and is planning to do with sex offenders. Not Good, not anywhere. I look into my sons smiling face, knowing what I know about what I did over 20 years ago, and how it is now coming to haunt him as well. My wife, smiling, then crying, then smiling again. She's trying to keep my hopes up while hers are falling down around her. People pass these laws because they believe the lies and fear that has been shoved down their throats by politicians and the news media for ratings, fear sells. They are also passing these laws because they want to protect their children. I look at my son and wonder what he would be telling me if he were 20 years old now...what would he think, this little man of ours? Some friends have asked me if I regret bringing him into this world, with all that's going on in this country, and I say, Not one moment with him do I regret. The love people have for their children I understand, wanting to protect them, I understand and I agree with them. So here I am, a sex offender, a father, a husband, an uncle, a brother, a son, trying to find the bridge between what I have done, what the public is doing now, and my hope for the future. My lawer told me once before we went to court over 20 years ago, it does not matter what you did or did not do, when someone throws enough shit against the wall, some of it is going to stick. Well he was right, he just did not understand how long it was going to stick. So, where can I move with a wife and son?

Posted by: muspelheim | Dec 5, 2006 3:08:48 AM

I am a sex offender that feels the ramifications of my action of years ago. I go to colleges and speak to student that are going into criminal field. I find it good to do since I give these students a first hand look at what it is they are about to embark on in their career choice. Yes, it is not getting any better out there, I chose my own personal image of this matter i.e. a Python that has captured its prey and now is slowly suffocating it before devouring it. (Smile) I do not make excuses for my actions I understand the reality of such pain and suffering for those of this world. Nevertheless, my action to such reactions is just never to commit such a heinous crime again..."If I die never committing this act again then I have done my job." I have 2 of my own boys by a women that has 2 boys as well, 4 all together and she wants more. She knew about me from the day we met and still stand strong behind me, even though we don't live together, yet we would like to. I spent 10 years away from main stream society looking at what is has become. I have even imagined and hoped for something better than what reality has shown me, but nothing of the sorts will ever be in this life. I am happy that I found a place where I can speak with others that know this pain. And for those that may find this site and read all these blogs that are in support of people, persons, individuals; mostly human beings, if pro or con. I don't blame you. For such actions and behavior has been going on for centuries it is just now coming to this particular point of reaction. Just know this! That for every person that never commits this crime again you create a path of success that others can follow and create a light at the end of the tunnel for those that may not be able to see. For with everyone that STOPS! An answer is created and a bridge is being constructed that will reunite people with there families and loved ones. And change the laws of the land. It begins with one and ends with many! Yes! I see nothing that says, "I will have a corporate job and make the top dollar." I know that politics is just that. And society doesn't want a know S.O. living next to there children...etc. Well, laugh if you will, but they'd rather have a murder, bank robber or someone they never know living next to them. The key is, "They never know," who it is just as long as we know about the sex offenders because it could hurt our children or us...Burglars have been know to be very dangerous criminals. However, what do people like my family and myself and those like us do for now?? If you have not committed the crime again then you are doing just what you need to do. Also, get help! And find more people that will support us..."Everyone deserves a second chance!" We even teach animals to be more human.

Posted by: Noname | Dec 11, 2006 10:38:55 PM

-- A Statement on Rights --
"Sex Offender Rights" -and- "Sex Offender Privacy Rights"
Those phrases can be misleading and are regularly misused!
RIGHTS DEFINED: The "rights" granted to every Citizen, also apply to ALL sex offenders and flow from common law, constitutional law, and statutory law. These rights apply to every citizen, yet rights can be diminished, if a person adversely infringes on rights of another person.

Some rights are so fundamental that they need no law to define them. At birth a person is automatically entitled to a place in society, a place to live, a place to work to support themselves, a place to worship God according to their belief, and the right to marry, establish a home and bring up children. Absent a criminal act, and then only during the sentence for that act, these rights are fundamental and -cannot be eliminated- by anyone or any government.

Society generally perceives, that ALL sex offenders (society refuses to distinguish between former offenders and current offenders) will recidivate (meaning former offenders will again infringe on the rights of another in the future), and because of that perception, society believes their rights, can or should be diminished today (some feel eliminated, but, the Constitution prohibits that)!

There are some folks who want to diminish rights which exist for ALL sex offenders, those folks fail to recognize, if government can diminish rights of -anyone or a group-, then it has the power to diminish rights of everyone! Someday, every door may knock!

Persons convicted of a CRIME have a circle of people around them, their Zone of Associations, their family (often with children), friends, business associates, and their daily contacts. Finally, when rights of persons PREVIOUSLY convicted of a CRIME are diminished, it effects not only that person, but every person in their Zone of Associations -everyone suffers-, including their children!

Posted by: Noname | Dec 14, 2006 11:43:33 PM

you know i have been with my husband for almost 6 years now and he is a registered sex offender. we have a 2 year old and are expecting another in about 3 months.i have no regrets about being with him or having children with him but i am very upset with the "justice system".his only crime was being 19, young dumb and you know the rest when a 15 year old girl threw herself at him. he did not know her age at the time but considering the condition they were both in i doubt it would come up at all. so after the incident she decides that she wants him to go to homecoming with her. he being of sounder mind and body declines and this pisses her off.so long story short she goes thruogh the motions with her family and he ends up in jail. the cops tell him to write a confession saying yes he did have sex with her not knowing her age but he did not force himself apon her she was more then willing. that right there signed his fate. it didnt matter that she was a well known "whore" or that her last boyfriend was 3 years older then my husband at the time all that mattered was that he told the truth and in doing so admitted to a great crime. in court the girl and her oh so concernd family did not even show up to the hearing. but the state thruogh the book at him anyway, 10 years probation, sex offender classes and registering with the town. what i want to know is where is the gray area? he does not belong in the same classes with 40 year old men who have sex with 12 year old boys or men who raped 10 year old girls or what ever.do the people who put him there understand what hearing about that stuff will do to a non-predator?and then to be classified as one? its all bs and it blows my mind that it happens as much as it does. my husband is a good man, he loves me and his kids with all his heart and it breaks mine to have to see him treated like something he is not or never will be.why does'nt anyone see this and do something about it? NOT ALL SEX CRIMES ARE THE SAME AND SHOULD NOT BE TREATED AS SUCH!! WE NEED A GREY AREA!

Posted by: Shannon | Jan 12, 2007 1:37:29 PM

dear sir,
i am a sex offender i am very upset with all these stypid laws that have been but into effect.this country(who i will die for)leaves me no choice to drop my american citizenship and leave the country and never return if possible only return when the country wakes up i encourge all sex offenders do to the same either leave this country or stand up for ouy rights defend what is ours

Posted by: fargas | Jan 19, 2007 1:45:42 PM

let us fight back my borthers lets us got to war with them who ever is with me satnd with me and fight for your right to live

Posted by: fargas | Jan 19, 2007 1:50:24 PM

I am the wife of a level one sex offender who took a plea under the Alfred act, due to an over zealus sex crimes divison and very bad health he had no choice. Too many horrors to write about, but latest in the great state of Louisiana is what slipped into law in an election year with no publicity or notice. Was mailed in mass mailout, not certified that all sex offenders must immeadiltey change their license or ID and now that words in big orange letters that appear on your ID or license are SEX OFFENDER. Who the hell sees this. Airline clerks, Walmart clerks, bank tellers, etc.. Does it make any since?? No.
Any help on this would be greatly appreciated

Posted by: Lisa | Jan 25, 2007 5:03:19 PM

American citizen. To force free american citizens to restrictions/conditions would be serious violations of civil rights and would also prove that registration is punishment and therefore un-constitutional. Government forced/funded segregation and discrimination has history and has already been ruled un-constitutional. My report is a HOMERUN ! send $ 255.-- MOLINA 927 south Bruce--5 Anaheim, Ca. 92804

Posted by: MOLINA | Feb 26, 2007 4:29:12 PM

I'm a sex offender I was charged with carnal knowledge code 18.2-63 I just turned 18 when they charged me they told me even do the girl said she lied about her age I should have asked for a I.D everbody thinks just because you are a sex offender your bad and your going to rape little kids I got news for the I have two little girls and I would never do anything to hurt them I'm tried of people not really knowing me but think I'm a bad person I think they need to start looking violent sex offenders more and give the people like in my case a break.

Posted by: steve | Feb 28, 2007 11:25:52 PM

I've struggled with all aspects of life since I was required to register. I'd be willing to join in a mass suicide as a form of protest. I can't go to see my children in a school play. I have to lie to get a job, and pray my landlord doesn't find out about me. Knowing at any minute I could be living in a car is far too much. Anyone else interested please post.

Posted by: Doug | Mar 4, 2007 12:13:46 PM

Additionally -

I have a 6 year old autistic son...the joy of my life and the center of my universe. I can't enroll him in school as it means coming within 1000 feet of school. If I don't enroll him in school, I am in violation of state law. I contact the State to ask what I am to do?

"You really need to place him up for adoption. We tend to frown on sex offenders who are single parents, and do what we can to remove them from such 'volatile' situations."

This is the Dark Ages my friends. People fret over North Korea or China dropping the bomb, but not I. One man's armagedon is another man's fresh start."

Posted by: Doug | Mar 4, 2007 1:15:34 PM

I haven't read the entire blog but much of what I read sickens me. Please don't try to tell me that a 15 year old girl can initiate sex with a 20 year old man. I was 13 when I was raped by an 18 year old man. Yes, I will say raped. I was young and confused and thought I had asked for it so I never told anyone. Three months later he was charged with molesting two young girls that he would babysit from time to time. He plead no contest. I still thought my situation was different and that I had somehow asked for this.

You talk about your lives being a living hell. Try being the victim. My innocence was taken from me that day. I went from relationship to relationship after that. I didn't care because I thought I had no value or worth as a human being. I became pregnant out of wed-lock on two separate occasions and both times I ended up killing my babies through abortion.

I finally found Jesus. He is the answer. He is the truth. He is the light. He is the only way.

I am now thirty and the mother of two daughters. I am fearful for them and pray every day for their safety. I don't want the same thing to happen to them that happened to me. I made mistakes too. I aborted my children. I killed them. I have to live with that for the rest of my life. A day doesn't go by when I don't think of my children. I deserve any punishment I get for what I did. There is forgiveness but there are always consequences.

I just thought that this blog was a little one-sided and that it would help to hear from a victim. How many rapes and sex-crimes go unreported, like mine. Please understand that I am not judging any of you. I revealed my crimes as well. I'm just trying to show you all that this type of crime really does go with the child as he/she grows into an adult. It has far-reaching consequences that are never truly wiped clean. If my life was permanently changed as a result of this man's decision, then shouldn't his life be permanently changed as well?

I probably won't be on this blog again. I just received a letter that a level 1 sex offender lives in my school district and I was trying to figure out what types of sex-crimes will earn a person the designation of a level-one offender.

Posted by: Renee | Mar 6, 2007 2:19:23 PM

Hello, I just got done reading the blogs in this site,In 2001 i was accused of molesting my 10 year old step daughter. I had no money so i had to go with a public defender(big mistake). This so called lawyer seemed like she was really willing to help until the day it came time to go to court on that day i was already in prison for criminal non-support well that was the key she needed she came to me with the suggestion that i take the alford plea i was stupid when it came to anything that had to do with law she told me that this wouldnt be an admission of guilt but guess what yes it is.she said she could get me 5 years running concurrent with the time i was doing and then told me that if i took my case to trial that the prosecuter was going to file more charges against me that could equal to 60 years. I was 36 at the time so i fell for it. Now i have to live my life wondering where the constitution went to because i am not being protected by it. Oh yeah i forgot to mention i wasnt even guilty of such a terrible crime. I have a daughter who is the same age as the girl that i supposedly mollested but when i asked my so called lawyer to get a staement from her she said it wouldnt do any good. the thing is this little girls mom wanted out of our relationship and she didnt want me to be with anyone else. Well me being with anyone else didnt work i am in a relationship with a real great woman and she knows everything she has a 4 year old daughter and would not think twice about leaving her with me.Now i am looking for a way to clear my name of such an unspeakable crime if anyone has any information of a way to do this you may e-mail me and i would very much appreciate it. thank you all for letting me air my frustrations about the american justice system it is flawed and we need to do something about it.

Posted by: John Alt | Mar 8, 2007 9:07:45 AM

I am the wife of a sex offender. He was falsely accused of molesting his younger female cousins when he was twelve years old. He was put on probation, sent to juvenile hall, and was forced to register up until this year. He is now off registration but still has a private sex offender history. My question is, are companies allowed to see his private information for employment purposes? He recently applied for a job and they claimed to "have problems with his background check," and never called him back. Access to this information seems illegal. Can anyone help?

Posted by: corissa | Mar 9, 2007 1:48:33 PM

I too am registered S/O in the +$#@&^ up state of Texas. I have read many blogs regarding each and everyone's circumstances and what they and their families and the victims all are going through. I know exactlly what they are experiencing. At the age of 32 ( 1999) under the influence of alcohol asleep on the couch at a friends house, I was approached by a 15 year old permiscous female going on age 25. Fuled by alcohol I made the dumb dicision to briefly make-out and ''touch'' one another sexually. She later on told her mom. During the scheduled court date, the family dropped the charges, come to find out this poor little victim had a long list of sexually encounters with other older men. Sadly to say Texas State decided to file charges against me. I was charged with indecentcy with a minor and received a 5 yr probation sentence. I regret not fighting this case, but due to the lack of funds and a weak lawyer, I was advised to just take a no contest plea. (bad mistake). I too now suffer from retro-active laws that have flooded the courts all across this great country of ours and now must be punished for the rest of life. The reason sex crimes a viewed so awfull is because sex is generally '' TABOT'' ! I too caring alot of anger and disappointment with me. I have no prior criminal record of any kind. Iam NOT DANDEROUS SEXUAL PREDATOR!I am a good person that made a bad choice one fateful night. I have asked for forgiveness and have forgiving myself aswell.My punishment does not fit the crime. Something has to be done regarding the laws that involve sex crimes. I too have considered living the country. Registered murderers,drug offenders, prostitutes....where do they live? I cant locate them on the web, oh...........thats right they dont have to register.

Posted by: j. | Mar 22, 2007 1:25:51 PM

I too am registered S/O in the +$#@&^ up state of Texas. I have read many blogs regarding each and everyone's circumstances and what they and their families and the victims all are going through. I know exactlly what they are experiencing. At the age of 32 ( 1999) under the influence of alcohol asleep on the couch at a friends house, I was approached by a 15 year old permiscous female going on age 25. Fuled by alcohol I made the dumb dicision to briefly make-out and ''touch'' one another sexually. She later on told her mom. During the scheduled court date, the family dropped the charges, come to find out this poor little victim had a long list of sexually encounters with other older men. Sadly to say Texas State decided to file charges against me. I was charged with indecentcy with a minor and received a 5 yr probation sentence. I regret not fighting this case, but due to the lack of funds and a weak lawyer, I was advised to just take a no contest plea. (bad mistake). I too now suffer from retro-active laws that have flooded the courts all across this great country of ours and now must be punished for the rest of life. The reason sex crimes a viewed so awfull is because sex is generally '' TABOT'' ! I too caring alot of anger and disappointment with me. I have no prior criminal record of any kind. Iam NOT DANDEROUS SEXUAL PREDATOR!I am a good person that made a bad choice one fateful night. I have asked for forgiveness and have forgiving myself aswell.My punishment does not fit the crime. Something has to be done regarding the laws that involve sex crimes. I too have considered living the country. Registered murderers,drug offenders, prostitutes....where do they live? I cant locate them on the web, oh...........thats right they dont have to register.

Posted by: j. | Mar 22, 2007 1:27:43 PM

I fully understand

Posted by: j lee | Mar 22, 2007 2:08:28 PM


I accepted a Deferred Adjudication in Texas following a high school relationship in which I was 19 and she was nearly 15. This relationship was completely "willing" on both of our parts (if that makes sense any more). In fact, her parents actually encouraged the relationship. The relationship never resulted in any sort of penatration, but there was some fondling involved. Neither my ex-girlfriend nor her parents ever wanted anything "bad" to happen to me. My ex-girlfriend and I are still friends. She is an adult (26 years old), and she feels very bad because of the situation. Sadly, she blames herself because she "flung" herself at me (which makes me feel terribly since I now completely understand how wrong such a relationship was).

In fact, the case only came to light after I willfully admitted to something in writing in a completely unrelated issue that was part of a Church lawsuit. No one thought that anything would come of this, and once it did, a visiting judge attempted to have the case tossed. However, an overzealous DA pressed the issue and charged me with one count of "indecency with a child."

I complete the 5 year Deferred Adjudication under the belief that I would not have to register for life. Others have told me about the possibility of getting the entire matter either expunged or dissolved. I have never had any trouble with the law (not even a traffic ticket).

I recently completed my Masters Degree, after completing two Bachelors Degrees while on Deferred Adjudication. A month ago, I married my longtime girlfriend (we dated for six years -- beginning BEFORE my court case). I would really like a fresh start and no problems in finding a job.

Are there any possible actions that I can take to accomplish this? What are my options?

Thanks in advance for any help that you can give!

- Sincere and Desperate!

Posted by: College Graduate | Apr 24, 2007 4:46:06 PM

I am a registered sex offender. Thats almost like saying I have no life. My victims were my daughter and a neighbor's daughter.I have finished my incarceration of 2 years and am on lifetime probation. I truly am sorry for the choices I made 7 years ago and now am living with the consequences. I used to think like most people in society that no child should ever be hurt(having been a victim myself)but not getting help for myself for years on end was a factor in my deviant behavior. This I do believe. Hiding in alchohol and drug abuse was also a way of avoiding my shame and guilt. I can see both sides of the picture now.
I now am jobless and in financial ruin. I lost my family except for my son, who has a big loving heart and still cares about me. I can say that at times I feel " sorry " for myself but know that I made the decision to hurt my victims and this was all my doing. My priority in life is to make amends to the victims and to be a father again to my daughter. Its all I have left sometimes. I used to think in black ans white terms but now am living with gray values. I am willing to give people a second chance because I believe I deserve one too. I have been in therapy since my release and have uncovered many issues in my life that I did'nt realize caused my behavior. Being afraid of intimacy was one of them.
I've never expressed my feelings on this matter and this is my first ever posting.I hope that society can help us that need help and will one day understand that not all people who commit sex crimes are unredeemable. For many of us it was a one time bad choice that we have to live with the rest of our lives. I also hope that people open up their minds and hearts and give us second chances to prove we can be productive members of this society and contribute to its wellbeing.I don't like to rant and rave about how unfair life is or that there is no hope for us but I think this is one of the greatest challenges anyone can face in life. Please keep thinking positively ( which is alot of work) and keep plugging away at the problems that come at us. Its therapy in a way.

Posted by: Peter | May 22, 2007 11:48:24 AM

This is to Darlene. Darlene these laws are not from the Bible, but mercy and forgiveness are. Seems you have neither so don't put the Bible up front unless you can adhere to all of it yourself.

Posted by: Bennie | Jun 7, 2007 9:07:00 PM

For everyone who wants a quick fix it's best you understand and accept that there are no quick fixes shy of leaving the country. The battles are up hill all the way. When law students and law professors, and attorney's begin to realize the jeopardy that the US Constitution is in, as well as Constitutions of individual States, and they decide to fight for the Constitution that helped make this land great then we may gain the legal support to push back strained judicial reasonings from local Courts up to the US Supreme Court.

As it stands at this point in time grassroot groups of activists are forging ahead on our own. It would be grand to have true help from the legal profession, but until many change their views which are skewed, the fight to win ground will be long and hard, and some won't survive.

Posted by: Bennie | Jun 8, 2007 9:04:44 PM

Hi.... I am a single mother, student, and work part time. I am dating a registered sex offender and am in love with him. My boyfriend slept with a woman who was of age but legally unable to give consent to sex. He was her caretaker. After he was unwilling to have sex with her again she began telling people about them. He turned himself in and went to prison for 3 years and has been off parole for a few years now. I am torn because I am truly in love with him and unable to have my son around him for fear that he will be taken away from me for child endangerment. I have not been able to talk to my mom or family about this because she wont hear me out and ended up telling my sons father about it (although in a way I feel it is his right to know) he has threatened that if G is around my son he will sue for custody. Nothing and noone is worth the lose of my son, but when I try to break it off with him I am miserable and long for him. When we are together is it truly like two souls recognition of one another. I am willing to wait till my son is grown to be together but is this fair to him although his is willing to wait also. I don’t regret that I met him because I have never felt my soul so alive. But on the flip side since this has happened I have been researching predators and trying to see if there are any warning signs that I should be seeing and am just blinded. I am truly in a situation of sleeping with the enemy. I have noone to talk to about this other than him and he is very understanding about all my fears. We talk openly about this. I wish it never would have happened. One thing that is bothersome to me is that he was sexually abused as a child by more than one man so it would seem to me that maybe there is a possibility that he could continue this behavior. I just don’t know what to do other than see him without my son always or just cut him off and morn him for as long as is necessary. I have thought that going to a councilor together might relieve some of my fears or not. This might make them worse. It seems to depend on the opinions of the therapist. People are either willing to hear me or stop with the words registered sex offender. The possibility that we do end up together as a family and then have a child that society ends up telling all about his fathers mistakes and then shunning him makes my heart break. Surely I am thinking way to far ahead. I feel like moving out of the country.

Posted by: Me | Jun 11, 2007 2:00:52 PM

I have a similar situation as Bennie. I'm currently going through a divorce and have a 16 year old son. My boyfriend wasn't convicted but pled deferred not knowing this was the same as a convection, he was 30 she 26. He never spent jail time and has had zero trouble since the false accuation, it has been 16 years since the inncodent. Will my son be able to reside with me if he chooses? My soon to be ex husband has been convected of 3 DUI's, physical and mental abuse of myself and son, my son is currently in a treatment center for drug and depression, caused by my ex. How is this even possible that someone like my ex husband get custody and my son not be allowed to be with me, the man I plan to be with for the rest of my life. I am the one that is being punished, my boyfriend doesn't drink or smoke and mentors troubled children in Karate. He is loved by everyone I have met, his neighbors of 10 years have never had one problem with him either. I need help. Someone pelase!

Posted by: LMB | Jun 11, 2007 3:50:07 PM

Unless all SO's and their families fight together, we will never win this war against us. Some have tried to unite, But we are all too afraid of Being found out and persecuted. Yes, I Believe we need to start our own areas - in every state.

But how? They take money, homes, belongings, jobs, destroy chance with education, destroy our entire abity to fight, and this is not By accident, it is meant to disempower.

Posted by: Wife of SO | Jun 29, 2007 2:22:59 PM

Hello I am a sex offender. I committed my crime in 2000. I am still on parole. I have read everyones comments and have a few things to say myself.
My crime wasn't so different than some. I met my then girlfriend online through a dating service, we hit it off the first time we saw each other and rest should have been history. She has 2 young daughters. The problem here is that I wasn't aware of any deviant behavior by my girlfriend at first. Then she began telling me about her step father doing things to her when she was little and that he still made sexual comments towards her.
What I didnt' know was that she was feeling me out. I am a disabled veteran, (though you wouldn't know it if you seen me) and had a a physical flair up in 2000 that put me out of my job and laid me up for 9 months. During the 9 months I was prescibed Neurontin, Hydrocodone, and Oxycodone. I took them per prescription for the 9 months leading up to my arrest. My girlfriend took care of me in almost every aspect, getting me dressed, bathing me, helping me out of the bed, all the while pregnant with our first child. In the meantime she talked tome one night about doing something deviant with her daughter, and I found out through this conversation that she had "feelings" for her father. I know I should have ran like the dickens, but being drugged up and helpless at that time gave me no mind. Mind you at the same time, we happened to be staying the night at her parents, and the next day when I woke up, she was running around the house naked, and her father was just walking out the door to go to work. Hmmmm

Mind you She is a drop dead gorgeous blonde blue eyed, petite little thing. What most successful men would call a trophy. Then something did happen. The daughter then told her grandmother who then called CPS and the cops. They raided my home, confiscated my computer, found nothing because there was nothing to find. We were both hauled off to jail. We were given elctronic polygraphs, and I passed mine when I said I didn't do anything. She of course didn't pass hers at all. Well they let her go and kept me in jail. So after 9 tortuous months of jail and fighting a bullshit case, the DA almost dropped the case due to lack of evidence, and my word against a little girls. The mother the whole time was free and clear, as she still is to this day.

In 2003 I decided to tell everyone what really happened. My ex had even made the comment that she wanted to do things to our unborn son at the time ( which now I don't even know if he is mine or not) and so CPS detained him into a foster home for 18 months. Not once was she ever arrested. 18 months later after completing some classes she got him back. I am still on parole, and I discharge in 2 months.

There that is what I did, and I too pay for it everyday. I have had to change my appearance becuase I was in the mall one day with a girlfriend and a mother recognized me and grabbed her children and almost ran out of the store, even though I live 40 miles away. Even though I have never re-offended, this is how we are treated. This is not my first time being in trouble. This is the first and last time I have ever committed this type of crime. Of all of the things I ever thought I would do to end up in prison this one never popped up in my mind. I have been in trouble for fighting, disorderly conduct, things of that nature, nothing ever ever never ever like this. I hate that this happened to that child and I hate that the mother is still on the loose free and clear. I would never wish this on any child. Just as long as that is clear.

I know some of you have made comments about disliking SO's as the acronym is used here, but you have to understand not ever case is the same. You used to could go out and piss off your back porch (those of you who live in the counrty) and no one gave a damn. Now if your neighbor or anyone sees you doing it and calls the cops Guess What? Now your a sex offender. Here is a popular one, 17 year old boy and girl been together for however long yet the mother despises the boy, uh oh the boys birthday is before the girls, he hits 18 and the mother files charges against him, Guess What, poor boys life is already ruined cause now he is a sex offender. It happens all of the time.

Woman love to have sex in public places for a thrill, not anymore, get caught and you guessed it your a sex offender. I am just trying to show the more bull headed out there who commit sex offense crimes everyday and may not even know there are laws against what they do, but the consequences they hold are very great. Just because someone is labled a sex offender doesn't mean it was with a child.

I have kids from a prior marriage, and when my ex moved to a new place I immediately look up offenders near her, and found one, his crime Public Urination. I was taken aback by such idiocy. Yet I wasn't alarmed. I mean we all have pissed in public sometime in our life, and those of you who say you never have are big fat liars and a half. So I guess all of America is one big sex offender according to our laws. Hmmm imagine that.

I could go on about the woes of being a SO, but they are pretty much the same as they are posted here. The problem with everyone is FEAR. I do not live in fear. I know my rights, and I know the law as well. If you live in FEAR you can be controlled, if you have no fear, you cannot be controlled by anyone, not even the government. I have problems everyday concerning parole and conditions, etc. It is all one big mind game. Mind games for me are fun, I am good at them, and I usually win. The key is to take the law they throw at you and turn it around on them. The government, politians, cops, etc, all live by one code, semantics. If you know this ahead of time, you will already be 2 steps ahead of them. Anticipating them, keeps you in the clear. And I truly live by this. Granted I am paranoid, (not by mental disorder, drugs, etc.) but any sex offender is. I do look over my shoulder, and I do keep a wary eye out for those who wish to do harm to me. But I am not Scared, only cautious.

Now my biggest problem I have here is those of you out there who will not, and do not stand up for yourself, because of this you bring the rest of us who do, down. You make the fight harder than it needs to be. It's not that I don't sympathize what your going through, hey I am too everyday as well, but I haven't lost my will to fight back.

Alot of you have said something about getting an area in each state together, which would most definately put a crimp in the plans of the government, where we could live our lives in peace. I am all for something like that to a point. But then what would happen? We would form a committee, form our own "rules", then would would do checks on those coming into the area to make sure they weren't svp's. (sexually violent predators). We may even set rules that only allow a certain type of SO into the area etc. Then where would we be? How many of you out there, who live with a SO, would want another SO living next to you and Your Kids? See where I am going with this. We would start to discriminate and would be no better than the people who crucify us now.

What we need to do is start standing up for ourselves a whole, and work together. This time is no worse than the Salem Witch Hunts of yore. And this is exactly that, a witch hunt. It doesn't matter what your crime is if you are a SO then your a child molester at best, and no one will want to believe different.

IF there are those of you that are willing to stand up and band together without discrimination what-so-ever, then now would be a good time. I mean where is the web site for murderers, drug dealers etc? What about the dealer who sells crack to kids, where is his poster? Of course you won't find one anywhere. I would be interested to hear anyone elses thoughts about getting something started to show the bewitched people of America that we too are people, regardless of the crime. I quote someone elses blog, The crime is not who we are, (in most cases), but a circumstance of a bad decision. Thank you

Posted by: June Buggidty | Jul 25, 2007 12:16:59 AM

I'm really getting sick about the injustices going on in the super redneck states of Florida and even worse: Texas. The lawmakes in both of those states will someday pay for their stone-cold hearts and unjust S/O laws they passed with revenge as their basic motives. All ex-S/O's do yourselves and your families a BIG service and VACATE those two states permanently. WHenever I hear of the terrible, destructive weather that those two states routinely gets, I'm quite impressed with the justice and irony of it.

Posted by: Maddy Farfan | Aug 17, 2007 2:33:18 PM


Posted by: CARRIE | Aug 23, 2007 3:19:29 PM

I am a 24 year old sex offender and my life has been a living hell since my offense when I was 19. I was charged with sexual abuse of children for having child porn. Why I was charged with that, I have no idea. It makes me out to look like a molester or something. I by no means condone child porn, but all of the images(16+ years) were age appropriate for a 19 year old male. I do not nor have I even had ANY sexual interest in children. I have taken 3 polygraph exams about my sexual interest and have passed all 3. I was a sophomore in college at the time and was kicked out for 2 years. I was able to return and finished my BA in Psychology with honors. In Feb, I was accepted into a great grad program in social work, but just found out today, three days before I was set to go, after I already rented a house, that I was kicked out because of my record. The field education office was unable to find an internship for me. I think about suicide just about everyday, I can not take it anymore. I feel like a second class citizen. My degree that I have worked so long and hard for is pretty much worthless. Even if I would have been allowed into grad school I probably wouldn't be able to get licensed anyway. When I was allowed back into college and my life started to seem like it was coming back together, I felt like I got a second chance. I decided I would change my major to psych and devote my life to helping those who are less fortunate than me. Now look at me. I am 24, a convicted sex offender, up to my eyeballs in debt from college with a degree that is WORTHLESS. I am a college graduate and can't even get a job in a warehouse or factory moving boxes and pallets around. I can see how easy it would be for me to turn back to drugs and alcohol to feel better. I truly welcome death at this point. I have no idea what it even feels like to have any dignity, honor, or self respect. I feel like my suicide or maybe death in combat (if I was even allowed to join the military) would be the only way to restore honor to my family. I am just this hollow shell that use to be a person. The depression is almost too much for me some days. I literally have to lay in bed for 20min after I wake up until I can think of a reason to actually get up. I wanted to have a family someday, but I don't even want to bring a child into this world and have to live with my shame. Not like I would ever even be able to support one anyway, probably be living with my parents for the rest of my life. Thank God that my state, PA, doesn't have any residency restrictions...YET I would pretty have to move out of my hometown. Living in a tiny community of less than 3000 ppl doesn't make it any easy. Everyone knows who I am and I am shunned everywhere I go. People who I have known literally known my entire life won't even say hi to me. I am a human being, with feelings and emotions, not a monster. I had one of my worst experiences so far about a week ago. I was taking my trash out and walking up my back yard, when a neighbor girl a few houses down (separated by fences between every yard) screamed then ran yelling "MOMMY, THERE HE IS!" I was in tears when I got back to my house. I honestly felt like ending my life right then and there, I am so fed up. I think the worst part is knowing no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, that you will never be able to live up to your potential. I invite anyone who reads this and his going through a similar experience to contact me

[email protected]

Posted by: Kyle | Aug 24, 2007 4:05:00 AM

I am a 24 year old mother of two who is currently trying to get my masters degree in Criminal Psychology and Forensic Science. I feel , after may years of study and personal experience studying and fighting for equality when it comes to civil rights, that the law in general is ...in my home state of Florida , all the way to the supreme courts and federal judicial system , hypocritical as well as moronic. Yes I was a victim , I was raped at a very young age and thus conceived my son. Yes charges were pressed , the man went to jail , paid his dues , and changed his life. I feel that the system is completely corrupt. In my state and town of Tallahassee Florida, there are officers of the law who commit sex crimes , correctional officers , government agents , even pastors and judges. Why are they considered "above the law"? The answer, laws only apply to commoners. According to federal law there is to be a separation of church and state, civil rights to protect ones rights, the rights of life, liberty , and the pursuit of happiness......... that is the federal law, the illusions of such rights. In actuality , people are discriminated against .
When I was raped , I was violated by another human, but when I went to court , the judge and judicial system made my life a living hell and violated my civil rights more so then the person who raped me. They demoralized me , humiliated me , and I became just as the offenders become , I became a statistical number. When my son was born, I went trough the whole process all over again. I was 14 years old, still a child, and the officials who were suppose to protect and serve , went into the nursery and ordered lab tests to be done on my child. Then as if that wasn't bad enough the state ordered a hearing for a paternity case. They drug all of us through the ringer again, and for what?? After the paternity testing , the state tried to file for child support.....now I was but a child but I couldn't help but wonder , if this man is in jail , has to register as a sex offender , then how on earth will he be able to pay child support???? I waived all rights to support from him. I was the victim but I had something that no one else seems to have , compassion. I forgive but I never forget. Yes it was horrible and traumatic, but after 5 years had passed and he was scheduled for release, they tried to drag me , my son , and his "father" back to court to extend the sentence. I was held in contempt of court when the judge questioned me when I stated I no longer felt threatened by the defendant, and that I felt he was no longer a danger to me, and suggested his release on the stipulation that he complete extensive counseling and supervision by the department if visitation with our son were ever available to him. The judge asked me if I understood what I was saying and I explained to him that after the incident I did dual inrollment and took both my high school courses as well as college courses studying criminology , the Florida statues and criminal psychology. He implied that for me to come to this decision surely meant that I was incompetent. I posed a question to the judge. I asked "why it is that man can commit premeditated manslaughter , yet can be released early on parole for good behavior and have his freedom , yet a man who has committed no prior offences on his record , after serving 5 years for a sexual crime , is thrown back into a jail or prison facility to fade and die". The judge said basically that a sex crime is far worse then manslaughter, so I asked how , and said ... "I am a victim of a sex crime , yet I am still alive, how does still having your life commit a man to loosing his? If I were murdered instead of raped, the defendant would have been released 2 years ago, yet I am alive so you are condemning him to death , not in the psychical form , but by stripping all means of life from him." The judge was furious and held me in contempt of court because I spoke the truth.
Approximately two years following the judges incompetent decision to hold me in contempt for disagreeing with him ,I had him fired. I was 21 years old , a single mother, and struggling but at least I was alive. Shortly following the man was released. He wrote me a few times , thanking me for what I said to the judge, for believing that he wasn't a bad man , he was just a man . In the words of the great Albert Einstein "A human being is a part of a whole, called by us 'universe', a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

Posted by: Milisha | Aug 26, 2007 3:47:13 PM

Help me to help you. These "Stalin Laws" communist laws; public officials should have properly named, oppress the truth oppress people. Making you resposible for a crime committed by someone else in another state or location; WHATTHA !?! Now your held to further punishment/restrictions. And you haven't done anything; someone else did ! We have to get back to democracy. NOT communist named law. Democracy must prevail. I need your financial help and support. This can be turned around. Don't give up hope. I know the scales of justice can be rigged for anyone to fail. I know for a fact. I can help . I'm telling you I can help and make a difference. Let's get going on this now. Don't wait. MOLINA 927 south Bruce-# 5 Anaheim, Ca. 92804

Posted by: MOLINA | Aug 30, 2007 5:57:08 AM

I am also a sex offender. I dont mind that I have to register. But I want to register for the law enforcement only. The law says that it supposed to protect and serve all citizens from the United States. Not to protect and Select. Putting people on an internet with there address on there is a danger to people who are innocent living with a sex offender who have paid there dues and not re=offended. The law enforcement should be the only people that we should register for. It would not be as embarassing as to plaster your name on the internet. If sex offenders are almost homeless, jobless, afraid to go in public, mentally damaging to the sex offender then the state should allow us to collect Disability. The state laws are disabling us to live. Im not here condoning what I did was right. I have seeked counceling. I am on anti depressants. This internet online registration sucks.Im not hanging out at parks or schools or trying to find children. Now i am fighting another battle of failure to register. I didnt commit a crime to any children. I dont live at the place I failed to register at. Its my girlfriends place. I am living with my parents at age 35 and I am Compliant. Now I am facing 3-5 years for not registering at a damn place I alledgedly lived at. I didnt even do a sex crime. Its frigging bologne. If anyone is fighting back or willing please contact me.

Posted by: James | Sep 16, 2007 1:29:45 AM

I am the wife of a sex offender who sits in Fort leavenworth prison for Molesting our daughters. Thats where I hope he rots. I am having a hell of a time finding someone to help me with my situation concerning the retirement that the Military took from me & This soldiers Victims. Seems Noneone wants to go up against the government even though our civil rights have been violated. I was robbed of my day in court..wasnt able to testify. IF anyone reads this and can possibly help me in any way..please contact me.

Posted by: Tracy | Oct 10, 2007 4:52:58 PM

I am just another person hacking out life in this living hell. Like most sex offenders, i deeply regret my actions especially for my victims. For a time, i was involved with urges i couldnt understand, and was twice convicted of exposing myself. Before you get too judgemental, consider that i never WANTED to have such behavior a part of my life and hated it - nobody commiting a sex related crime whatever it is - wanted to be that way. Even the pedophiles, as reprehensible as their actions are, have probably prayed to God to take those urges away. I come from a good family, educated people and intelligent, which makes it that much more unacceptable to me.

The fact is, as a species we are not as advanced as we think we are. The primitive desire for sex and procreation manifests itself in some inappropriate ways, and this undesirable behavior in our species will take many more years of evolution to resolve. Sometimes i speculate that it is baggage leftover from someone elses life, or bad karma that needs to be worked off from another person. In any case, the reality is it was my behavior, i adressed it and love and respect who i am now. Defeating that problem is the single-most greatest accomplishment of my life. Too bad its too little, too late.

Whats most sad is that no matter how much we have changed our life, it won't matter. This is a major political issue, an easy way to score cheap points for politicians both republican and democrat alike, with money spent on registry efforts worth ten times the value in political clout. Every election time i cringe for what new laws they want to enact. Bush vetoes the child health bill and signs the adam walsh act. The hypocrisy is unbearable.

I have a son, he's 5. I love him more than anything and he is my entire existance. Since resigning at the hospital where i worked as a medical professional (i resigned to spare them any scandal), i have not worked in 7 years and have nearly depleted every financial asset i have. The reality for me is that i will soon be homeless and never be with my son again. What is there to live for at this point? I agree with a few who have posted here that those suicidal like myself should get together and take our lives. The enascapable humiliation and despair with the registry is more than i can bear at this point.

My last hope is to petition the Gov. for pardon from the registry. 2 misdemeanors, no physical contact. My life hinges on that decision. Literally.

I really wish all of us the best of luck. If there is a God, he created us right? If he understands imperfection and forgiveness, shouldn't authorities on earth understand as well?

Posted by: K | Oct 17, 2007 6:04:46 PM

my husband is in jail right now. he was accused and admitted to fondling his 6 yr old son, who doesnt live with us. my question is, will he be able to live with me his daughter and his step daughter again? i can forgive him for what he did, he didnt touch my daughters, he was molested as a child and he has a disease that he went through therapy for 14 yrs ago, he let it slip. this is his firt offense and im scared to death of losing him. he knows that he wont be able to have much contact with his son, and dcfs said he cant reside in my house unless the court says its ok. will they say its ok though? he isnt a threat to my kids, just his son. he is still in jail cause we dont have the money to bail him out. he's being charged with aggrivated criminal sexual abuse

Posted by: jennifer latchford | Oct 19, 2007 12:40:46 PM

my husband is in jail right now. he was accused and admitted to fondling his 6 yr old son, who doesnt live with us. my question is, will he be able to live with me his daughter and his step daughter again? i can forgive him for what he did, he didnt touch my daughters, he was molested as a child and he has a disease that he went through therapy for 14 yrs ago, he let it slip. this is his firt offense and im scared to death of losing him. he knows that he wont be able to have much contact with his son, and dcfs said he cant reside in my house unless the court says its ok. will they say its ok though? he isnt a threat to my kids, just his son. he is still in jail cause we dont have the money to bail him out. he's being charged with aggrivated criminal sexual abuse

Posted by: jennifer latchford | Oct 19, 2007 12:41:39 PM

im 20, i live in florida and have been charged with having sex with a girl who is almost 16. we both have fallen deeply in love with each other. she has givin me a new reason to live. before i met her i was robbin cars and bein a drug attict and sellin them too. when i met her she changed my whole life around. she has helped me gain what i need to be a good honest person that knows how to care about life and the feelings of her. what is gonna happen to me?

Posted by: no name | Nov 1, 2007 1:56:51 AM

My son is 15 years old and was told in October by a judge in Florida he has to register as a sex offender the rest of his life. At 15 he had no idea what a crime he was committing. He is ADHD and has always struggled with it. Parents with kids that have ADHD know how hard life is for our children already. My son has spent most of his years in special ed classes because of his problem. Why can't ther be special rules for these children? His life will never be the same when he comes home from his sentence. He has a college fund and will probably never get to be what he wants in life because of these registry laws in Florida. Kids are so different from adults who do these things. For most of them they had never had sex before and the curiosity gets the best of them, like my son. Ithink this law is so unfair to our children making mistakes is part of growing up. We all did something we regret as a child in our lives. Does it have to be posted for everyone to see? I need help for my son before he comes home to this nightmare of criticism from everyone.

Posted by: upset parent | Nov 1, 2007 10:39:29 AM

does anybody have a clue of what i should do?

Posted by: no name | Nov 2, 2007 1:15:28 AM

I am the wife of a sex offender who is going to be convicted of Rape in the first degree, criminal sexual act, forcible touching, and two counts of endangering the welfare of a child. I am scared to death of what will happen to him in prison. Both of his parents molested him starting when he was three and continuing until he attempted to hang himself at age seven. He never got help and he put it in the back of his mind until he married me and our daughter turned three. When the memories started flooding his mind, he continued the vicious cycle and he abused my son (his step-son) and then our daughter. Neither of us is sure he raped her. Because I witnessed one event and attempted to help him rather than putting him through what I saw in the previous posts, I was also charged with endangering the welfare and my daughter was placed in foster care. The previous posts have me scared to death for my family. We want to be a healthy family and he is very sorry and receptive to any mental health treatment he can get. I'm so sorry it may be too late. If anyone is aware of groups that are actively fighting the new sex offender laws please let me know. I am going to fight as hard as I can while he is in prison.

Posted by: supportive wife | Dec 9, 2007 5:22:03 PM

I am the wife of a 33 year old man who at age 18 had inapproapriate contact with a 14 year old who 7 years later the girl went into rehab for drugs and told her life story to someone who reported it. at age 25 he was charged and plead to deferred thinking in 7 more years all this would be over. NO he can't get a job, can't go to school to see our kids activities. We were lied to to get us to take the deferred deal and now stuck with it. He is suicidal every day. I am lost and he has definately given up the fight.

Posted by: j | Jan 10, 2008 11:19:54 PM

i agree,with the abuse of the convicted,to whom are now in a sense the victim.I two convicted sex offenders in my family.Both are innocent.Lies and hear say,false promises amd corhencemt got them there.one is my son.Wife accused him of touching their oldest inopprately,the two others was cohcerned or manpulated in to agreeing it happened to them,long story.there was drugs and achol involved.wife was threaten by da jail time for her unless he confessed.drugged he turned hiself in to save her,weak mined,cochercerd into confessions now serving 25 years.she is still with him,and daughter told me he is innocent,he just wants it left alone.says kno more problems for them. a good freind of mine,perfect record milatary,highest cia clearcene,not a spot are blemish,meatl for saving to peoples lifes,made a big mistake,dated ,got a woman pregant,they broke before he found out,she came after him after the child wwas born,for the sake of his child was going to marry her.you she she thought he was rich.they went to get the marriage licence and found out she lied to him,se was still married,This is leading to the reason of his conviction. he gave her everything she wanted.fake breast,expenstive wedding set,new car.money,you know all,but that was not enough.she had two children by ex,he supported them.she wanted all,so she tried to get it.lieing,she accused him of touching her daughter.well that was ,she was abusive to him,and yelled at the children,strain on them.after three bad lawyers that cost him and his family over nintey thoushand dollars,he is now awaiting parole.This is after half of fifteen years aggraveated sexual assult.woman judge,woman da. ex wife that lied(i know this because she called and told me what she was gonna do.) i tried to warn him,but he did not want to belive.look were he is now. there was know trial,and know pychical evidence,just hear say/His witteness did not get to testify.ex went to the da antold her that he did not do it.was told she would to go jail and not see her kids,if she recanted her story. she walking free going from man to man.My point is hear say should be done a way with.i wish i had the mony to start comunities for convicted people.they need homes and lifes.i believe money should be spent to find and cure the sickness that causes the problem.I do believe in the inoccent of my two,so much so i married my freind while he is incarcarated.i know she lied and one dayher reward God will give.my famil is suppotrive of both. this is a good site.thanks

Posted by: jean | Jan 22, 2008 5:12:41 AM

I can't understand why there is no difference between a predator and a 1 time sex offender....who all know is NOT really a SEX OFFENDER! Why is this law so unfair? Why can't there be different degrees of offenders? Why is a sick stalker who REALLY wants to hurt children for his/her own satisfaction the same as a teen ager who happened to be with a girl who happened to be under age?!?!?!? They need to wake up and realize that teens are engaging in sex at a much younger age! There should be a review of the sex offender law....This is not what was meant when they said Justice was blind!

Posted by: no name Mom | Jan 22, 2008 11:58:10 PM

yeah, sex crimes are bad,,,lets lock them all up and make more room in society for robbers, burglarers,, wife beaters,,bullies,,and scam artists...those are the good kind of criminals ;-)

Posted by: Zachary | Jan 27, 2008 3:00:48 PM

Well what if you're a child and get convicted? I was 13 years old when I committed the crime. I plead no contest to a felony criminal sexual conduct 2nd degree and to register for 25 years. The conviction sounds like something horrible happened doesn't it? Nope there wasn't even any touching involved. Anyways back to my point, I was only 13 years old...13! Can you please explain to me how I am a child molester at age 13? Oh yeah I forgot to mention that because of a little technical law they waited til I was 15 because at age 15 you can be charged for a felony as an adult. I'm so sick of all these rules, and everyone looking at me like I'm some kind of rapist. I would rather be convicted as a murderer. And don't give me that It's in the bible blah blah blah, since when are 13 year old children considered adults? I am 23 years old now, can't get a job, can't get an apartment, can't live with my family because of where they live (had to move out when I turned 18, state law and all). And I now have a warrant for my arrest in another state because they think I'm still living there, I changed my address it is even on their list that it is changed, but I still get the warrant and have to go back to that state and fix it.

Posted by: dan | Jan 29, 2008 5:03:48 PM

Hi all of your stories have touched me! I have Been searching the net hopeing to find some people like you, with a similar problem and I find it hard to get help. I too have paid for what I have done and I'm not here to sugar coat it.

I'll give you a brief story about what happen to me. I was 19 years old & my girlfriend was 15 & I didn't realize that aged mattered cause I was still like a little kid at 19 years old myself. Anyway I got charged and now I have been on megans law, and I fall under the 10 year registry. However from what I'm been reading, looks like they will somehow demand I do life.

My ten years are up, I just went to register this June of 08 which makes 10 years, now I'm not sure what to do, I want to go on with my life. I did wrong and I paid for it and I'm a changed person & I won't ever make another mistake again like that in my life. I never knew about the law at 19 years old, let alone be charged for having a girlfriend.

I read your story and you said your fine and you should be done with your 10 years of registering. Did you finish already? and if so, what should I do or the action I can take if they try to entrapp me in that net of new law.

Any resources or non profit organizations that can help you and I, as well as others who like us get stamped with SO when we really are not. Especially trying to make us do a life sentence and getting no second chances.

I think its harsh and cruel. How come murders and bank robbers get second chances.

I look forward to hearing from you or anyone, with your thoughts, & opinions that can help me in this situation.

Thanks again,

God Bless

Posted by: Jeff | Jun 17, 2008 7:08:56 PM

i was a fetish escort...smoking crack..met someone online in a adult chat room thought she was a daddy daughter freak..but it was a sting..i was going to rob her while i had her go to the bathroom to get ready but instead i was arrested..think about suicide everyday..

Posted by: | Sep 22, 2008 3:00:26 PM

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Posted by: | Oct 14, 2008 10:18:47 AM

Hi, I too am a wife of a registered S.O. We have a beautiful son together. When he was 10 years old, him and his stepsister were curious about sex and started experimenting with each other. However, they did not have intercourse. When their parents found out, they were asked to stop. And it did for awhile, but my husband's stepsister insisted on starting again. it went on till my husband was 18 years old, and she was 16. When he wanted to stop she got mad and told the parents, who then kicked him out of the house. While she got no blame. So, here we are. Thank God I have a fulltime job, but it is very hard for him to get a job. We have a beautiful son who deserves the best! Even my husband's parole officer knows he is not a predator. He has to report for 8 years then finally he's done...but even after that, I'm not sure if it will be easier for him to get a job. My husband made a stupid mistake when he was young. That does not make him a MONSTER! I personally blame his parents. They were the adults, and didn't keep a close eye on them, and try to prevent it from happening again. Infact, at the time his lawyer told him he has a good case, and that he is innocent, and can win. But the fact child services was going to take away his parents children he took all the blame. Just so his parents wouldn't get there kids taken away cuz they were careless! So, please, not every sex offender is guilty. laws should be made for the ones that are predators...not for the innocent ones.

Posted by: Sabrina | Oct 17, 2008 7:35:16 PM

hello i am a sister of an offender and i have been reading this blog and i feel exactly where you all are coming form and it is ridicolous. I feel like if it is that serious and the goerment feels like its a chance that whoever will do it again why not keep them in jail if its that serious. I agree with the people who say that you all need to take a stand and say how you feel because without that nothing will change they will keep doing what they are doing. Everyone who commits this isn't a monster like in this case i seen someone say that the girl was 15 to be honest there are some girls who look like there about 20 and girls lie about their age everyday what you should check for id now huh. well we have a new president coming in and did you ask about them changing the laws on that because you shouldn't have to suffer for you entire life for committing a mistake that happened so long ago how are people suppose to live jobs won't hire them and that can't live anywhere so what are they supposed to do thats why they reoffend give them a chance to right their wrong the did the crime and they did the time well i said what was on my mind now its up to you all to make a decision thanks for lisening

Posted by: student | Oct 27, 2008 5:10:29 PM

My crime was committed back in 1992,for having sex with a under age young women (15), I served my time and still must report once a year in Jersey and I am in the lowest teer in regards to re-offending. Back in the nineties getting a job was not that problamatic, but it has become increasingly more difficult. I am oftened faced with the dilemma to lie or tell the truth. I've turned my life around and I'm Christian, but it's tough when you are truthful and you don't get the job. I'm getting older and money is starting to get difficult to come by. I wondered are Sexual Offenders eligible for Disabilty or any other kind of assistance. I would love to work, I have a backround in Social and Customer service, but my crime is the ultimate offense and if there is a record's check done it elimanates me from the position. Any help that can be provided would be greatluy appreciated.

Posted by: Morris | Oct 29, 2008 5:45:01 PM

I have been with my fiance for 9yrs and he is under CSL he was charged with endagering the welfare of a child in 1997.He and I share a 5yr old daughter together,but as of right now he has to reside in a motel until Parole allows him to live with us,even though he works,does not drink or do drugs,and does not get in any trouble with the law, I even moved about five times to an area that an "offender" can reside, we even go to a therapist and even he thinks it should be approved it's been 1year that we have been waiting for a response from parole also not to mention $10,000 has already been spent on a MOTEL room plus all the expenses of a therapist and everyday life my own rent,utilities,etc. so I can not sleep I worry that we will never be able to live together with our daughter I sacraficed everything I wont more than anything to be able to live as normal as possible I love this man and I will do whatever it takes to live in a peaceful home together I just am so disgusted with the system and how the USA has so many murders,and other hayness acts and if you are under CSL thats it you are the worse person ever even if you dont know the severity of the crime you are stamped for life you are stereotyped,it seems that a murder or a drug dealer of whom ever does not even get sny punishment close to a person under CSL.I can go on and on but if you are reading this you understand what I mean, so I do hope one day the rules and regulations will change for people under CSL I do think if this happens that society will be better for the victims and accusers.

Posted by: sarah | Nov 20, 2008 2:05:27 PM

I am one of the many young men that have been convicted of Statutory Rape in Mississippi which under the statue was consensual sex with a minor which I was 19 and she was 52 days from being the legal age of consent in Mississippi which is 16 now I have to register for life due to a mistake I made when I wasnt even of legal age to drink this is a joke...I have to register in any state nationwide why isnt the age of consent a nationwide statue since the megan law is...To think I would have got a mistdeamnor
dilenqince of a minor charge if I would have drove to arkansas to have consensual sex.
Doing Life While Living Life

Posted by: Jonathan | Dec 16, 2008 8:08:23 PM

I was convicted of a sex offense 11 years ago. The official charge in the state of Washington was 2nd degree assault (with sexual motivation). My girlfriend at the time and I had got into a physical fight. In the process she went to push me back as she was standing on the bed. As I fell back I reached forward to counter-balance the fall and caught hold of the waistband of her pajamas and subsequently tore both the waistband of her Pj's and underwear. None the less I fell back and hit my head on a near by table. It knocked me silly for a second or two and caused some bleeding. I went to bathroom to tend to it. Afterward I went to the kitchen to grab a knife and sat at the kitchen table and contemplated suicide. I was using drugs and alcohol and that time and had a very poor self esteem and thought this would be the way out. I NEVER EVER thought once about sexually assaulting her or using the knife to harm her whatsoever!! Needless to say because there was a knife in the police report it was a felony assault charge and the sexual motivation part came from her clothing being torn. I will admit I deserved an assault charge because of the physicality involved in our fight but in no way was it to the degree of a felony. I did not touch her in a way the would suggest sexual motivation or intention. She was even asked in the investigation "if she feared for her life or thought I would turn the knife on her" and she said "NO!" I could not or would not ever bring myself to sexually assault, coerce or invade anyone's space sexually!!
I plead guilty after 6 months in county jail just to find out later she had moved out of state and wouldn't have been present to testify if I would have opted for trial.
11 years later I can't even begin to say how the inability to get or even keep a job has put a major choke hold on my success and growth in society. I bought a house 2 years ago and don't know which will happen 1st; have to move because I can't afford to pay my mortgage or be told I have to move because of some new amendment to registration laws. The state I live in now I am the lowest classification of risk but I still fear at anytime all my rights could be reversed.
I know I have paid my dues legally, financially, emotionally and to society many times over only see my life get increasingly harder to manage or merely survive. I live with my girlfriend and have a happy, honest, open and successful relationship. Yet I am made to feel more and more on a daily basis that I'm a 2nd rate citizen. Although I spent 4 years overseas defending my county I will not be recognized as a veteran; instead as a life long sex offender.
I am currently unemployed and in the last 3 months have sent out at least 75 resumes to jobs I am way over qualified for but am getting no responses. I realize the current economy doesn't help. But I'm sure the fact that anyone can jump online at one of the many free registry sites and back ground check something that is 11 years old has a lot to do with it. Not to mention I have absolutely nothing on my record since then it still means nothing to this paranoid made society that believes a person with such a crime has no capacity or interest to change there life.

Posted by: Damned For Life | Dec 21, 2008 9:08:50 AM

I believe there MUST be a category for each act. Its unfair for men who had consented sex with girls who probably lied about their age or went looking for these guys. We live in a society where celebrities can do whatever. Miley Cyrus at 15 dated a guy who was 21. He was not called a sex offender, instead we can see photos of them holding hands.

Majority of these men or women who abuse kids sexually was abused as a child, or just mental. They need more than years in jail. They need help.

Those who want a second chance in life, should get a chance. I agree its a matter of safety to make them register. But how about finding ways to prevent sex offenders from existing. Putting a ban on Pornography, sexual immages on tv..If you want to stop them...we need to help them....Get rid of all these sexual media that tempts them. All these demonic material that molds men into child predetors or rapist.

God sent his son Jesus Christ to die for our sins to give us new life. We need a better system to heal their spirit self and physical self.

Posted by: Child of God | Dec 30, 2008 11:48:10 PM

Hello one and all,
As many of you have already stated I two am a sex offender (although few people would guess that when they meet/speak to me.) I was in the military when my offense occured and made a plea bargin so that I could get home and be with my new born son at the time.

While in the brige I was dignosed to be not only safe to return to socity but would be a benift. Since being back to the states I have found it very difficult to get a job/ place to live. In fact it seems impossible to do either. Currenly my wife is making the money (which isn't even enough to pay all our bills.) even my DD2-14 states that I would be allowed to re-enlist (though the military managed to force me into a plea bargin though illiagle means. I have tried to get attornies but like the polititions there are none willing to help me or my family.

Lately I have ponded on abanding the "material" world and hike across the nation. Which as long as I don't plan to reside in any city or state is legal. I have also been thinking of trying to get a housebout/fishing boat and live in international waters.

I often wonder if sex offenders are so dangerous why not exile us to islands since they seem to be pushing us out of the states one law at a time.

Not even a hundred years ago women where being married off at the age of 13 today the U.S. of A. seems to want to abandon the ideals of marrige all together. To me it seems sex offender laws are both CRUEL and UNUSUAL. In the histroy of the world there has never been any laws like we see today and all it has done is give a false hope and burden to socity.

God forgave me, my wife forgive me, I served my time honorably. What more do they want? My death will not save a child, no death can save a child. Since I served time I believe our whole "justice" system is messed up. Did you know if you plea guilty without a bargin it is manadatory that you be sentince the maximum penality....I though the Truth would set you free not bind you...

Posted by: David | Jan 6, 2009 2:57:40 PM

My stepdaughter accused my husband of molesting her on Dec.19,2007. This was two days after she said that he poked her in the breast. He lost his job and DCF took my son away for 9 months. It was proven that she lied and that a friend of hers told her to make up the story so she would not have to live at home. On Jan.30,2009, I have to turn my husband over to the state so he can serve 5 years for a crime he did not commit. If we went to trial and he lost, he would have to serve 50 years! What I want to know is, where do we live in 5 years? I am planning on waiting for my husband to return to me and I am looking for a safe place for him to live. He took sex offender tests and passed all of them.

Posted by: Angela | Jan 24, 2009 9:05:49 AM

To Darlene:

You are just an ignorant creationist. Our laws don't come from the bible, some fictitious book that some people back in the days where women were stoned to death because they wore too less of clothes. I don't you still stone people like it says in the bible do you? I didn't think so than I guess you are going to your fictitious hell. Leave works of fiction out of our laws. One of the reasons we left England was for religious freedom. Yet here we are still trying to force religion on people through law.

Posted by: Anon | Mar 2, 2009 2:24:06 AM

I'm also a Registered Offender, i commited a crime when i was 15 years old with a girl of 16 years old. I'm now 22 years old.the girl being older then i, it was consensual and purly curiosity, she was the one that brought the whole situation on. she was scare of what her mom was going to do to her,"real uptight" so she lied to her momma and said that i had raped her. at 15 years old i did a 1 1/2 year sentance with 4 years of probation.I passed all my classes and passed all my poligraphs and jumped threw all there hoops on hopes that they would be alittle nicer to me, being 15 and all when it happened. no go jumped from group home to group home then kicked out on my rump at 18 with no were to go. no one cared that i was a good young man trying to keep my head up.trying to tell myself that i'm young and stuff will get better.4 years later and i cant even see my 2 kids and live with my gf. totally diffrent state then were all my family is at. 2,100 miles awqay and no way to get back. why should i go back, it will still be the same because im still the monster i was at 15 "BECAUSE supposedly I RAPED A 16 YEAR OLD GIRL" now i must regester everytime i move and get stared at by my soon to be old neighbors as a register one sex offender. for the rest of my life. it was a minor offence and you cant find it online, but i will tell you what those employers can find it somehow and turn me away because of it. "only criminal offense i have" a guy above said he tryes to go home im also in the same boat as he is and tear up because i have noone i can talk to and no money to pay these counselors to talk to them. life is near the end and my head is heavy with all the hatred for all these politicians and so forth that can point the finger and say your not worth the time of our government. i dont think i can hold my head up much longer.and sometimes cry when i wake in the morning because........

[email protected]

Posted by: matt | Jul 11, 2009 7:10:13 PM

Well i am a registered sex offender and I am 18 years old and i was convicted of sexual contact of a 8 year old minor, at times I have dreams about it and it keeps me up at night knowing, what i did, when i was a child like 13-15 years old, I was away at to a detention center, then to a residential treatment center for these types of offenses and now I can't get a job, like i applied for over 20 jobs even Mcdonald's and basically all the fastfood joints, resturants and hotels and car dealer ships, I don't have no exerperiance,nor no liceance and no one won't call me, I really need help like is there anyone else going through this, because i'm starting to get discourage, and i also call places also, but all they say is "we are currently reviewing our applications" or "we will call you if you qualify,and last "we aren't hiring, can someone please, help me, like my mind is in terriable state right now, I live in guilt, I just wish that a job would look at to see how successful i was instead of my offenses. Well thank you

P.S. and i have a potential to get it sealed in a year, but i'm not sure yet,it depends on the lawyer and me. But i need a job soon to help out my family out with these depressing days of the economy.

Posted by: Greg | Aug 29, 2009 6:02:49 PM

I really need help, I just cant express that enough

Posted by: Greg | Aug 29, 2009 6:05:25 PM

I am a new wife to a convicted sex offender. He is not a predator or a bad person in any way...he merely made a bad decision nearly 10 years ago- to be alone with a girl he didn't even know was underage at a party. They didn't even have sex - she initiated everything, then when she was caught by her girlfriend, claimed it was all forced. During the trial, she changed her story, but it didn't much matter. He spent 3 years in prison, then 3 years on probation that is finally coming to a close....except that he might go back to prison. You see...over a year ago, they raised the probation fees - for sex offenders ONLY- and never told him. He lost his job a few weeks ago and I am supporting us...and somehow we have to come up with $1600 by the end of October, or they send him back. He's been frantically looking for a job, but everyone keeps denying him, I just don't know what we're going to do. It's not fair that we will be punished for the rest of our lives for this.

Posted by: Aranel | Sep 17, 2009 10:06:50 PM

Hey guys,
Check this out. I was convicted of a sex offense. I now have come to hate this country. But heres the funny part. Now I am unemployed for several years and I have a Ph.D. in nuclear physics. Think about that.

Posted by: xanadu | Sep 25, 2009 10:47:49 AM

I am a "victim" because this 20 yr old man swept me off my feet when I was 14. We talked and, aside from how we first met, we barely saw each other. But months later, we were in "love". With my help he came to my house and became my first. He was labeled a sex offender, a felon, given 2 years of probation and restraining orders from me. He lost his only job, he's paying back debts to bail bonds and lawyers and probation officers and sex offender class. Can barely even leave his house and risk seeing a movie on a good day because it's near a place with children. All over having fallen in love with me. In the end, we made it. I am a Nurse, trying to find a place to move my older boyfriend where he can live away from schools, malls, any sort of public setting. IF ANYTHING I FEEL LIKE THERE NEEDS TO BE RESTITUTION FOR AT LEAST THE OFFENDERS WHO PROVE THEMSELVES. Forget the poor sick men who rape and do awful things to Little girls, they need help, they need controlled facilities. What about the young men who just happen to screw up. We're getting married and plan on kids. Ones that I want him to be allowed to be around. For the people who can shotgun wedding the damn thing and stick it out to the finish, they deserve all accusations stricken from the record for one time offenders. they deserve all money paid back to them, they deserve to be set up with a job, especially the University studying he was going through. You don't get 4 years of your life back though. They just keep taking away more. I don't care about the repeated offenders, the idiots who get off 9yr olds, the pervs who beat up women, they DESERVE restriction for reasons. But ones who mean nothing but good will and are given CONSENT, idc about my age, I gave consent, those men should be given back the life that was stolen from them.

Posted by: another "victim" | Nov 3, 2009 1:48:59 AM

I aswell am a registered sex offender and I feel all of your pain for it is mine aswell. I was charged back in august of 05 and spent 8 months in county fighting the case. It was a small town and small town justice, only later did I discover that the prosecutor,judge and my lawyer were all good buddies, none of it seems to matter anymore. I was sentenced to 8yrs in prison, I did 2 and the rest on parole, even my therapist in prison said I among a few others didnt even belong there. Yes I seen some terrible people in there, true child molestors, those went to the predator house in prison, they dont come out, but ive seen way too many young men who were there for being involved with a 16 or 17yr old,when they were 18 and they are for ever sex offenders now. I guess thankfully I live in missouri, have a good buddy who was with me all the way as I was going through this. Upon my release he allowed me to live out on his land in my own trailer that my wife and I bought and paid off, but ive been unemployed now for 9 months and no one will hire me, and then we find out today that my wifes company is clossing down, were gonna lose it all, everything... Its hard every day not to want to end it all, but i guess the only thing that prevents that is knowing the pain it would put on my loved ones, but what do I do, where do I go? The way I look at it, were all in the same boat wether your innocent or guilty, no matter, heck i have 3 different police reports in my case all saying something different, theres no proof, nothing, just anothers word against mine, I was denied polygraph, told by lawyer it wouldnt matter anyways, wont hold up in court, maybe I should have fired him, but then what? with no money. I pray for you all, wives,husbands,mothers,sons and daughters. Just know that someone is thinking of you all as I have tonight reading all your posts.

Posted by: Rwolfe | Feb 19, 2010 9:57:27 PM

I've read every last blog on this page, damn this makes me want to cry out. I to am a registered sex offender, I've been on the registry since I was 17 my alleged crime happened when I was 13. I am now 28, during the trial I was way too young to know what was going on and I tried my best to make myself aware of the circumstances I was facing at the time. I was given 2 years probation. During that probation period, apparently I was registered and never knew it. Well I was told I would remain on the registry for 15 years, and I did the math I would have gotten off the registry at the age of 29, I would have been fairly young, could have attempted to go to college, possibly work, and not have this cloud of shame hanging over me, I would no longer walk around with this scarlet letter. Late in 2008, this Adam Walsh act was signed in to law, uping the time period of staying on the registry from 15 years, to 25 years..so now I do the math, and I won't get off this registry until I am 41. WTF? I have talked to numerous lawyers, in an attempt to get my juvenile record expunged thus taking me off the registry I can't because of some later conviction that I don't ever remember doing? I went to get my license renewed on my birthday, and instead of paying the regular fee, I had to pay an extra one time fee for them to put a restriction on my license identifying me as a registered sex offender. Then in this state, the governor signed a bill saying all sex offenders must now pay a 35 dollar registration fee once a year. WTF?? Make someone pay who most likely has no income? I can't work, I live in my mothers basement, I have no life, all for being convicted of something I did not DO?? My biggest issue is the mentality a lot of ppl have when it comes to sex offenders, the phrases child molester, rapist, kiddie rapist, are too closely associated with the words sex offender, NOT ALL SEX OFFENDERS VICTIMIZED CHILDREN AND EVEN SOME THAT ARE CHARGED WITH CRIMES AGAINST CHILDREN MAY NOT HAVE EVEN ACTUALLY COMITTED THE CRIME!! YES people are scared when it comes to sex offenders, WHO gave these experts the right to say sex offenders have an incurable disease. I HAVE NO DISEASE. I HAVE NEVER OFFENDED! These laws are NOT MEANT TO PROTECT THE PUBLIC, SEX OFFENDER LAWS ARE MEANT TO WIN VOTES FOR POLITICIANS!!! IF THEY CAN CHANGE THE LAW WHENEVER THEY FEEL LIKE IT, THEN WHATS TO STOP THEM FROM CHANGING FROM 25 years to 50 from 50 to A LIFETIME!! FOR victims of sex offenders,yes you went thru hell going thru what you went thru, and I don't mean to sound heartless. On both sides it is messed up. Allowing a sex offender to work, own a home, and live as normal as possible, lowers the chance of reoffending, for some they will never re offend because they never did anything wrong in the first place. If people feel so passionate about this, issue, and want to see the laws changed for the better and want to STOP this witch hunt, then you need to communicate with each other, NETWORK with each other, believe in each other and support one another. MASSES OF PEOPLE GET THINGS DONE!!! Especially when there are more juvenile offenders having there lives taken away from them, as children. Im leaving my email address, anyone serious about banning together, and fighting on Captiol Hill, dealing with your local politicians, and legislators, please contact me, from state to state, border to border we need to band together, and have our voices heard, and recognized. I don't mean to preach but this is a serious issue. How is it, Oprah Winfrey can use her show as a platform, to oust sex offenders, seeing how she was a victim of abuse herself, she does this because she has a personal vendetta, it feels her need for revenge, the same with John Walsh, the same with Megan Kehnkas parents, and even recently the young girl who was found dead in a jogging park out in California, yes what happened was unfortunate but her father went on to say he would dedicate the rest of his life, making the laws tougher for these incurable monsters? There motivation is wrong! Everyone isn't incurable, Everyone isn't a monster. People please, listen to me, stick together, any sex offender knows they feel isolated, ostracized, and left out in general,we heal each other, and help each other, and in the process get these laws changed so they are more realistic. Let me give you an example, right now most zoning laws say a sex offender can not live within 1000 feet of a school, day care, bus stop, or any place children gather. So say you been living in your home for 15 plus years, and someone comes along and decides to build one of those things 999 feet from you, is it fair, that you are told to move along, when this person just came and because of one foot of space, can uproot you from the little stability you have?? No it's not fair, but the laws will say it's fair. Is it fair to live in your home for 15 plus years, and have a new neighbor move in and then want to open an in home day care, and the neighbor gets approved and forces you out? There should be a distinct differentiation between Adult sex offenders and juvenile sex offenders, if you were under 18 when charged, and where not charged as an adult what happened to you as a juvenile should not haunt you or affect you throughout your adult life POINT BLANK!! THE POLITICIANS ARE THE REAL PREDATORS!!!

Posted by: Rick | Mar 21, 2010 3:19:53 AM

You know, all you people who have been offended, you CAN CHOOSE to get over it! A convicted offender can never choose to move on, and to all you scared people who think sex offenders deserve to have no rights, GROW UP! Its stupid people like this that have sent this country down the toilet and what goes around WILL come around.

I took a leek in a parking lot, and never saw anyone, now convicted for indecency with a child I NEVER EVEN SAW. There must be some legal distinction made in law some how!

I take some pleasure in knowing that when Damascus is laid waste this fall(2010) and your little economy falls apart you non offenders will enjoy some suffering with the rest of your human brothers and sisters. God hates injustice! SO, when you see these events you had better acknowledge to the almighty that you are not better than anyone else, including sex offenders, and turn away from the wrong you live in every day.

--We are all only humans, and we all do wrong. Elevating one crime above another is proof that we as a society are wicked and biased to our own imaginations.

Posted by: Bobed Off | Mar 30, 2010 4:15:41 PM

my boyfriend was charged with a sex offense but he is not a pedophile however he is worried about our life together and how is going to affect our plans we are young but we have big plans i don't know to calm him down and tell him everything will be fine is there a way he can fight this and remove the charge with a good lawyer

Posted by: heidy morales | Apr 1, 2010 8:26:53 PM

Hello, I was convicted in 2001 for a misdemeanor sex offense involving someone I met over the Internet, and who lied about their age. They were just 4 months shy of the legal age of 17. I was initially required to register in NY for a period of 10 years. About 2 years ago, the NY legislature retractively changed this for all offenders to a period of 20 years. Ex-Post Facto of course. I was wondering if anyone has challenged this? Secondly, what are the rules for leaving the country? Does one still need to register in the United States? Do they require that you first get permission from the country you want to move to? I would appreciate a response from anyone with solid information on this.

Posted by: Jorge | May 7, 2010 9:08:35 PM

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