Friday funnies from the DC Circuit

Though not really a sentencing case, an introductory parargraph of the DC Circuit's work this morning in Hurt v. SSA, No. 06-5339 (DC Cir. Oct. 3, 2008) (available here), does mention the Eighth Amendment.  And, more importantly, it provides some levity at the end of a long work week:

An extraordinary number of people, institutions, and inanimate objects have wronged Tyrone Hurt. In just the last couple of years, Hurt has sued the Declaration of Independence, Black’s Law Dictionary, the United Nations, agencies of the District of Columbia and the Federal Government, and various courts and their officers. Hurt has claimed the existence of state supreme courts violates the Eighth Amendment, requested the Secret Service and the President’s Cabinet be declared unconstitutional, and demanded the deportation of a Spanish-speaking government employee. See Hurt v. The Declaration of Independence, No. 07cv0647, 3/30/07 Mem. Op. and Order at 2–4 & n.4–7 (summarizing filings).  Nor are the slights Hurt suffered mere glancing blows; he routinely demands trillions of dollars in damages.  In the overwhelming majority of these suits, the district court granted Hurt’s application to proceed in forma pauperis (“IFP”) — in other words, without paying any filing fees. In each case, the district court then dismissed Hurt’s suit as meritless.

Somebody needs to explain to this persistent litigant that you need to be appointed as Secretary of the Treasury before you can make a credible request for trillions of dollars from the government.