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October 27, 2011
"Sex Offender Fined $200 For Licking and Fondling Cardboard Woman in Rite Aid"
The title of this post, which is the headline of this report from Gawker drawn from a local news report, describes the notable recent offense and sentencing of a Massachusetts sex offender. Befitting the amusing crime, here is the amusing Gawker account:
How many times have you come across a life-sized standee in a movie theater lobby or department store, and not thought to yourself, "If only our ass-backwards society didn't disapprove of inter-dimensional dating, this cardboard cutout of Nikita and I could probably be pretty happy together." Well, Charlie J. Price of Pittsfield, Ma., doesn't abide by musty precepts like "social mores" or "not licking cardboard ladies in public."
On Saturday evening, an intoxicated Price waltzed into a Rite Aid and locked eyes with the sunglass-display model of his dreams. According to a Pittsfield Police report, he then "grabbed hold of the sunglass display, hugged it tightly and then began to lick and kiss the face of the female party on the display." This went on for about a minute, police said, and ended with the two star-crossed, partially laminated lovers rolling around on the floor, blissfully unaware of the terrified customers inching away around them.
Price, whose lack of self-control and inhibition has gotten him into serious trouble before (he's a Level 3 sex offender, which apparently is very sex-offendery), was detained by police and soon found himself in front of a judge. He was fined $200.
Though I am certain it is not PC to make light of a drunk sex offender behaving badly at the local drug store, I promise not to be offended if commentors have some light-hearted reaction to this story.
October 27, 2011 at 01:43 AM | Permalink
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Comments
Much less likely to break his heart then the model in real life.
Given the ethical and legal problems of that drug store chain, I am sure he could have bought the cardboard display, taken it home, gone all out with it in his sexual molestation of it.
The feminist analysis will be that "display sexual abuse" is an attempt to exercise power, not an expression of sexual desire.
Lawyers will seek standing and civil rights for cardboard displays. It will be ironic but legally valid. They will sue the store chain for sexual harassment, in an aggregate claim, rather than the perpetrators of this abomination.
Posted by: Supremacy Claus | Oct 27, 2011 7:19:39 AM
One example of inter-dimensional dating and the problems associated therewith, occurred when Peter Griffin fell in love with cardboard Kathy Ireland!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Goy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppYAzAi8XlU
Posted by: Stanley Feldman | Oct 27, 2011 10:02:11 AM
Since Sea World is being sued for keeping its Orcas as slaves (this lawsuit brought to us by the good and completely sane folks at PETA), maybe Rite Aid could be on the hook for 13th Amendment violations too.
Whats worse, Rite aid is not only in the cardboard-cut-out slavery business, it seems they have entered the cardboard-cut-out SEX slavery business. What does SORNA say about this one?
Posted by: Eric Matthews | Oct 27, 2011 11:11:19 AM
Stanley: "One example of inter-dimensional dating and the problems associated therewith, occurred when Peter Griffin fell in love with cardboard Kathy Ireland"
me: The fact that they depicted something similar on Family Guy seems to conclusively prove that Mr. Price's crime was not at all hilarious but instead was merely stupid and had already been done better by other criminals.
Posted by: virginia | Oct 27, 2011 11:26:37 AM
LOL i'm with you virginia! this is just pitiful ... think they might want to have a long long long look at whoever provided his sex offender treatment......it's not working!
Posted by: rodsmith | Oct 27, 2011 1:06:35 PM
"One example of inter-dimensional dating and the problems associated therewith, occurred when Peter Griffin fell in love with cardboard Kathy Ireland!"
"Since Sea World is being sued for keeping its Orcas as slaves (this lawsuit brought to us by the good and completely sane folks at PETA), maybe Rite Aid could be on the hook for 13th Amendment violations too."
I believe we have our co-thread winners; congratulations to Stanley and Eric, and thanks to everyone else for playing.
@ Virginia
"The fact that they depicted something similar on Family Guy seems to conclusively prove that Mr. Price's crime was not at all hilarious but instead was merely stupid and had already been done better by other criminals."
I don't know what other "criminals" have done this (Peter Griffin, as I understand it, is not a bright guy but is not really a criminal and, in any event, he is a fictional character); but in any case I'm not sure why you seem to think that this episode is "merely stupid" and thus relatively benign.
Obviously, sexual assaults of cardboard figures are vastly preferable to sexual assaults of real people (or, for that matter, Orcas), but I tend to agree that this kind of behavior -- from someone who's already a registered sex offender -- seems like a troubling indication that, as rodsmith suggested, whatever kind of treatment he had to undergo to help him avoid having or acting on impulses to commit unacceptable/illegal/antisocial behavior hasn't been working. (I'd find it easier to write off as "merely stupid" if the guy were a fraternity pledge who wasn't a registered sex offender.(
Posted by: guest | Oct 27, 2011 3:20:16 PM
This at first appeared to be some 1st A statement as opposed to any sexual urge, but maybe not.
Michigan Man With Mannequin Fetish Sentenced for Breaking Storefront Windows
Thursday, January 25, 2007
PONTIAC, Michigan — A man with an acknowledged sexual fetish for female-shaped mannequins has been sentenced to prison after repeatedly breaking into storefront windows.
Ronald Dotson, 39, of Detroit, who admitted he was sexually aroused by the mannequins, was sentenced Thursday to 18 months to 30 years.
Dotson is unemployed and has lived with his parents most of his life.
He was arrested in October, shortly after being paroled for his sixth conviction in 13 years. Police spotted him near a smashed storefront window in Royal Oak which contained a mannequin wearing a French maid's outfit.
In some cases he stole the mannequins, the Detroit Free Press reported. Police once found him in an alley behind a women's clothing store with three mannequins dressed in lingerie, it said.
"I've never been able to take care of myself," Dotson told Oakland County Circuit Court Judge Denise Langford Morris as she sentenced him.
Morris acknowledged Dotson had never assaulted a person but said his behavior "strikes fear in the community."
Defense attorney Edward Cohn said Dotson lacked social skills "but is a very good person. He would never hurt anybody."
Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,246885,00.html
Posted by: Anon | Oct 27, 2011 5:14:12 PM
"Dotson is unemployed and has lived with his parents most of his life."
Given the rest of the story, this sentence seems kind of redundant . . . .
(Seriously, are all of his arrests relating to his thing for mannequins?)
Posted by: guest | Oct 27, 2011 5:49:14 PM
guest: "I don't know what other "criminals" have done this Peter Griffin, as I understand it, is not a bright guy but is not really a criminal and, in any event, he is a fictional character"
me: apparently Bill Otis isn't the only one who fails to understand my jokes. Or maybe I am as humor impaired as the writers of Family Guy :(
I find it a bit cute that you seem to assume that I have no idea who Peter Griffin is though. I wish that was the case.
But perhaps the issue should be given the one dimensional cardboard nature of Pater Griffin, whether his involvement with the cardboard cutout was actually dating accross dimensional lines. See, I would argue that because Griffin has as much depth as the average cardboard cutout, that his dating of the cardboard cutout was actually dating in his same dimension. Therefore, it is not applicable precedent to the case at hand.
guest: "but in any case I'm not sure why you seem to think that this episode is "merely stupid" and thus relatively benign."
me: maybe because it was stupid. And I think the fact that he was fined $200 provides an illustration that the episode was "relatively benign."
guest: "Obviously, sexual assaults of cardboard figures are vastly preferable to sexual assaults of real people"
me: I object in a very strong manner to calling this a "sexual assault" or implying that an inanimate object can be "sexually assaulted." It trivilizes actual sexual assault and sets a rather dangerous precedent.
Having said that, I am a bit disappointed that the prosecutors did not at least try to get a conviction for attempted rape on the theory that he showed the intent and took an overt act towards completing the offense and was only twarted through the impossibilitiy of his attempt. If nothing else, it would have made for a fun crim law hypotethical for future law students.
guest: "but I tend to agree that this kind of behavior -- from someone who's already a registered sex offender"
me: I actually looked Mr. Price's profile up on the Massachusetts sex offender website and it shows two offenses - the original conviction in 1991 for molesting a child under the age of 14 and what I believe is this conviction - which appears to have actually taken place in 2010 which is for open lewd and gross lavcious conduct. Which means that this act was only a crime because it took place in public.
guest: "seems like a troubling indication that, as rodsmith suggested, whatever kind of treatment he had to undergo to help him avoid having or acting on impulses to commit unacceptable/illegal/antisocial behavior hasn't been working."
me: I'm not sure - 20 years ago he was going after children. Now he's going after cardboard cutouts of an adult woman. That seems to be substantial progress to me. And really, well, again the fact that the penalty was a $200 fine seems to speak for itself about how serious this offense was.
guest: "I'd find it easier to write off as "merely stupid" if the guy were a fraternity pledge who wasn't a registered sex offender"
me: yet, its the exact same thing and still only a crime because it was done in public.
ginny :)
Posted by: virginia | Oct 27, 2011 6:00:44 PM
