Some holiday-themed sentencing headlines for Festivus celebrants

I am not sure if there is any enduring importance to the stories linked below, but they all caught my eye today as I was making my usual review of sentencing headlines via Google news. 

Especially if one is celebrating Festivus today and is eager to have a special criminal-justice-portion of the traditional "Airing of Grievances", I suspect the stories below might make for helpful holiday dinner table conversations.  Indeed, though there are a number of serious (and not-quite-so-serious) stories lurking behind the various headlines below, I think we could have an amusing Festivus contest involving Feats of (intellectual) Strength by seeing who can come up with the most clever "Onion-type" story to accompany one or more of these headlines:

• "Toys for Tots giveaway cancelled after news of registered sex offender"

• "Pope pardons former butler who stole and leaked documents"

• "Santa's gifts are special deliveries from prison"

• "Naughty 'Santa' Mike Busey busted for selling booze at the Sausage Castle"

• "Windsor police investigate Bad Santa"

• "The Supreme Court's Twelve Days of Christmas, 2012"

Happy Festivus one and all.