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March 4, 2014

"15 Years In Environment Of Constant Fear Somehow Fails To Rehabilitate Prisoner"

OnionThe title of this post is the headline of this amusing new item in The Onion sent my way by one of my terrific students.  Here are highlights from this all-too-biting satire:

Reportedly left dumbfounded by the news that recent parolee Terry Raney had been reincarcerated on charges of assault and battery, officials at Woodbourne Correctional Facility struggled Tuesday to make sense of how the prisoner had not been rehabilitated by 15 years of constant threats, physical abuse, and periodic isolation.

“It just doesn’t seem possible that an inmate could live for a decade and a half in a completely dehumanizing environment in which violent felons were constantly on the verge of attacking or even killing him and not emerge an emotionally stable, productive member of society,” said chief warden Albert Gunderson, who noted that, as hard as it was to believe, Raney’s recidivism proved that his criminal impulses had not in fact been corrected by the sense of grave distrust he felt toward every other person in the facility, including both fellow inmates and prison authorities, every day since 1999....

Gunderson [also] noted his additional confusion at how the man’s criminal record and the social stigma of his prison sentence had somehow failed to land him a steady job immediately upon his release.

March 4, 2014 at 01:27 PM | Permalink


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Another left wing propaganda piece with the vicious predator as a victim of the system. I suggest the editors of the Onion offer him a room in their home, and a job at the Onion, the hypocrites. They want others to suffer the effects of this human natural disaster.

Rehab is a joke because the rewards of crime are so great, and its risks so low, given the protection of the lawyer traitor.

Minimum wage work upon leaving versus Prof. Berman class income with little effort, no studying. Years of effort at school then work vs. seconds to wait for the same self-satisfaction feeling from crack cocaine. Bastardy and all adult pleasures with no responsibility from age 12 vs the nightmare of high school. Toiling helping or serving others for a pittance versus taking what you want for free, including sex.

You decide who is more stupid, the guy living the straight life or the career criminal.

Posted by: Supremacy Claus | Mar 4, 2014 2:27:40 PM

Calm down dude. Take a deep breath. The Onion does nothing but parody. This piece is meant to be a joke.

Posted by: Scott | Mar 4, 2014 2:48:05 PM

Hilarious, but as usual with an Onion article only the most typically clueless of the right wing are the quickest to take the bait hook, line and sinker but what else would you expect...heeeyah and giddyup old Silver.

Posted by: laugh of the day | Mar 4, 2014 4:08:41 PM

Actually, this article is true for many registered sex offenders. While there is no sympathy here to be gained by their presence in prison, the plain fact is the vast majority of registrants are routinely segregated and isolated, which extends to the real world through enforced registration and the extended "solitary confinement" that such registration actually incurs.

Yes, the story is a parody, but this is about as close to the truth for most registrants as one can produce.

Posted by: Eric Knight | Mar 4, 2014 4:55:16 PM

"the social stigma of his prison sentence"

Would that it were so, Onion heads. Now it is more a badge of honour than a deterrent.

Today’s effect of incarceration resembles more
“the legitimation of deviant behaviour and the deviant role;
exemption from normal social roles and obligations;
provision of interpersonal and social opportunities;
strengthening of familial relationships;
opportunities for ‘career growth’ and change; and
personal growth experiences.”
— “The Positive Consequences of Stigma … ”, Qualitative Sociology, 1990

Posted by: Adamakis | Mar 5, 2014 11:55:37 AM

(2014-01-27) — Ignoring more than 220 years of tradition, President Obama has, reportedly, already delivered the State of the Union address privately
in the Oval Office rather than to a joint session of Congress, where he won’t be appearing Tuesday as scheduled. White House sources say the president
told them we can’t wait for members of Congress to come together.

As he has mentioned, President Obama has a pen, so he wrote the speech, said an unnamed administration source, and then he stood up from his desk
and delivered the stirring address to a handful of White House aides, Secret Service agents and a cleaning crew late Sunday night.

 Under the Constitution, the president is not required to give a speech, but merely to report to Congress from time to time on the State of Union
and to recommend any measures he thinks appropriate.

Although the president is naturally reluctant to take a literalist view of the Constitution,” the source said, in this case, it suits his personal objectives
in dealing with this do-nothing Congress. Why bother with all the ceremony and the humiliating prospect of asking them to pass laws, when he can just
seize the moment and get stuff done.

 Speaker of the House John Boehner called Obama’s failure to deliver a lengthy speech before the joint session of Congress highly unusual,” but acknowledged
that Obama just saved me about three nicotine patches. -- |Scrapple Face| January 27th, 2014| Scott Ott

Posted by: Adamakis | Mar 5, 2014 12:11:27 PM

@Adamakis -

Thanks for referring us to that oh-so-recent report. I'm sure nothing has changed in 24 years. I'm sure that's totally relevant.

Posted by: Brian G. | Mar 7, 2014 6:29:05 PM

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